


Hunger Games: One Spark

by ItsJaneyDanny



Series: JJP Hunger Games Series [1]
Category: GOT7, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Angst, Archery, Betrayal, Coping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hunger Games, Loss, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Sacrifice, Survival, Swordplay, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:02:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 83,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25288750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsJaneyDanny/pseuds/ItsJaneyDanny
Summary: [Repost due to Orphaning original work]Park Jinyoung never looked at life as anything but survival. He never wanted to see beyond the district, never desired a world outside but when his brother is reaped for the 74th annual Hunger Games he can't help but take action. He finds few allies in his quest to win the games and return to his brother. One of them is the lone winner of district 12, his mentor Lim Jaebeom whose own past holds him captive and whose ambitions may put Jinyoung in more danger.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Series: JJP Hunger Games Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839313
Comments: 28
Kudos: 53





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [def_nanalan (beomble)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beomble/gifts).



> Hey all, I am reposting this story due to having orphaned it in the past. I would like to continue my work of completing the series and as I can't get orphaned work back, I have elected to go this route.
> 
> I can make nice changes like changing Jaebum to Jaebeom as well and correct typos. 
> 
> I apologize for abandoning it in the past, it was a stressful time.

Day sprung with light, light went through each house in each corner of the district. Light moved through everything and light shined through the cracks in the walls into the eyes of an eighteen year old boy whose life was very much hidden from light. Park Jinyoung awoke, the chill of the morning sank through his lungs. There was a scratch in his throat from breathing the air. Winter had melted a way a few weeks before but the days were still cold in the morning. He wanted to sleep a bit longer but the sight of dawn meant he had to get down to the mines, he was scheduled to work all day today. 

Jinyoung turned over to see that his younger brother Youngjae was sound asleep and he looked across the room to see his father was also asleep. Youngjae’s breathing was unsteady and he counted the younger's breaths. Since Youngjae was born he had issues with his lungs and the colder nights tended to be harder for him, but at the moment Jinyoung heard no problem. He moved carefully out of bed so he wouldn’t wake the younger because Youngjae didn’t have school for quite a bit. He reached over and grabbed his jacket even though he knew his work wouldn’t require it. It somehow felt right today. 

The chill of the morning surrounded him more now that he had left the small shack. Their fire had been going through the night to keep them warm as it could. Winter had faded but the spring wasn’t warm enough yet. Jinyoung had worked to make warmer bedding for them from the kills he nabbed hunting. They were pretty well off because of that. As he walked down the path he heard noises coming from the direction of the downhill turn. He knew the area well, it was where the break in the fence was that would lead into the forest. The forest was a second home to him, the place he had first learned to survive.

Jinyoung turned off the path to head towards the fence, to see what was going on even though he knew who was probably there. When he was a child his mother had told him that she never wanted him in the mines. She had always told him there were other ways to survive. She had taught him other ways. So he had spent much of his childhood in the forest with his best friend. Using what she had taught him.

He spotted his friend Mark walking down and almost to the fence. Mark like Jinyoung had found hunting in the forest was a better way to survive. He was two years older than Jinyoung and had been done it longer than Jinyoung had. Mark turned at the sound of the noise of Jinyoung’s approach, he hadn’t tried to mask it.

“You’re not going out again today,” Jinyoung said even though the direction Mark was heading in was unmistakable. 

“My sister went to sleep hungry,” Mark responded, “we need food not more punishments from peacekeepers for being too slow in the mines.” Jinyoung sighed, he knew everything Mark did was for his family. But his older brother disapproved of Mark spending much of his time in the forest. Mark’s younger sister was a bright young girl who had it very good with both her older brothers fighting for her. She lived with Mark’s older brother and his wife while Mark only spent enough time there to check in on them and leave food when they needed it. 

“The peacekeepers are doing more sweeps,” Jinyoung said. It would be dangerous to be out today. “I don’t want you to get caught.” Jinyoung was concerned for his friend. He knew though that when Mark was determined to do something that there was no way to change his mind. Jinyoung learned that when they first met, when Mark was determined to give him whatever he needed to survive.

"I'm coming with you," Jinyoung declared. That was the best decision for him to make.

"You have a shift today," Mark replied, "you could get in real trouble if you don't show."

"So could you," Jinyoung countered, "besides they're all focused on preparing for the reaping tomorrow. No one will care this time."

"Okay," Mark sighed, the topic of the reaping was a scary one for him. Jinyoung knew that Mark's sister had put her name in more times for food and he was worried she would get reaped. Jinyoung knew in a few years he would be more worried about Youngjae. This year was Youngjae’s first year which meant his name was in the drawing only once. The odds of him being drawn were nonexistent. Neither of them wanted to speak more about the reaping next. The games were something that had frightened them yearly growing up, now Mark had aged out and this was Jinyoung’s last year with his name in.

The two boys headed into the forest together, they both worked together like well. They both knew each other, and knew how to move and to find the perfect places to get kills.. After a couple hours they had successfully gotten a good amount of smaller game. It was difficult to even try to sell off the bigger game especially during a reaping time when peacekeepers were on watch for insurgents. They both sat under the trees with their bows and knifes. They were working to skin the game and get it in the sacks they kept out in the woods.

"How many times is your name in there this year?" Mark asked the younger boy. Jinyoung knew that Mark worried about him. This was his last year, the last time they had to worry. This was also the year they had new worries, it was Youngjae’s first year of eligibility. Jinyoung was thankful at least that his name was only in once.

"I'm in 28 times," Jinyoung replied, "I tried not to take food, but Youngjae kept getting sick. I won't even have the option next year if I make it this time." 28 times was a lot, he knew that. The odds of getting out were not in his favor.

"You'll make it," Mark replied. Jinyoung smiled sadly, he liked to be prepared for the worst. He hated believing something would go right then seeing it go wrong.

"Yeah maybe not." It was his real fear. It gripped him at times, when he really thought through what it would mean. The Capitol called it an honor, it was really just a death sentence.

"You will don't worry," Mark replied. Jinyoung didn't feel that way, anything could happen. 

After they finished their task they both got up to head back into town. Jinyoung stashed his bow and supplies before going but as they left to go towards town Jinyoung couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Youngjae’s breathing hadn’t been perfect through the night, Jinyoung worried about him still.

"Aren't you coming along?" Mark asked him as the older boy had already started to head out and Jinyoung lingered on the upper path which could lead towards town or towards home. 

"I don't know I just have this feeling," Jinyoung replied, "like I should check on Youngjae." 

"He should be at school by now," Mark responded.

"Yeah," Jinyoung said, "he should be." He looked up the path and decided to head to town later. "I am going to go and check, I'll go to town later don't wait for me." Mark understood his constant worries over his brother.

"Okay," Mark told him, "I'll see you around later."

Jinyoung head back up the path hoping his brother was in school and was okay. He looked forward to the warmer days, Youngjae always did better when it was warm. He went back to the small shack and opened the door. There he found his brother in bed still asleep. His breathing was coming in raspy spurts. Jinyoung was worried their father wasn't around and that worried him as well. He put his hand on his brothers forehead and he was burning up with fever. He was just fine a few hours before, what had gone on?

"Jae," he whispers as he holds his younger brother's hand, he wasn't awake and it was probably best he rest. Their father was supposed to be here and Jinyoung had no idea why he would leave the young boy alone. Jinyoung had to do something, he had gotten good kills today and he could trade them for medicine. Something to help the young boy.

Jinyoung thinks twice, their father was a doctor and had been a well respected one before their mother passed. If Jinyoung waited here and kept an eye on Youngjae his father could help when he got back but Youngjae was burning up and his breathing was unsteady. Jinyoung didn't want to risk waiting, there were times when their father left and vanished for days. Jinyoung used to look for him, and truthfully those times were rare now. The times Jinyoung did find him he was so drunk he didn't even remember his own son's name.

Jinyoung would rather not depend on that man at all. He got up and kissed his brothers forehead before he headed towards town with the game he had collected. He would find something to help Youngjae, anything. 

District 12 was one of the poorer districts of Panem, there was one market street and a black market that was inside one of the old industrial buildings. He knew that the game he carried could not be openly traded in the main market, he would have to get into the black market. The entrances were boarded up, the way people got in was underground. Mark always called it the under market, he might still be around but Jinyoung doubted it. Mark knew what he would be trading for and he would have gotten it already. Jinyoung slipped in down into the drainage pipe and climbed down. He walked in the direction of the market and could hear the activity of it as he approached. He was sure the peacekeepers knew where it was and what was going on, they didn't care though.

He reached the ladder and climbed up into it, there were people loitering about nearby. He paid them no mind and they didn't pay attention to him either. He climbed up and was surprised at the activity the place had. Usually at this time of day it was quieter with a lot less people. He knew everyone was anxious with the reaping coming up. He walked through the stalls searching for anyone with medicine. When he found someone he described Youngjae's symptoms and the man brought him a container of medicine. Jinyoung accepted it thankfully and traded his game away. 

He had a bit left and he walked through looking for some sort of gift he could get for Youngjae as well. Something to lift his spirits, he was always down after being sick. Jinyoung didn't blame him. As he walked through the stalls he saw a peculiar pin sitting in one of the shop trays. It was very small, a simple green bird in a circle. He reached down to touch the cold of the metal when the woman who owned the stall approached him.

"That's a Ahgase," the woman said, "It will protect you from harm." He smiled knowing such a statement was just a tale people told. Objects couldn't protect anyone from harm. There were people in district 12 who sought out objects that would so Jinyoung knew there was a market for it. He may not believe it but he thought the pin looked fun enough that Youngjae would like it. He traded the last of his game and headed back.

He hoped Youngjae was still okay as he rushed back through town and up the path towards the row houses. Things were different when he got back, his father was there and he wasn't drunk. He was sitting at Youngjae's bed, Youngjae was awake and their father had a hand on his chest measuring his breathing. There was also a cup full of water next to him.

"Father," Jinyoung called out for him and held out the medicine he bought. His father would know better what to do than he ever could. The older man's brow crinkled.

"These won't do any good," he responded, "I'm sorry." He turned back to Youngjae and the younger boy seemed to seek his dad's touch. The elder man sat next to him and pulled him into his arms. Jinyoung took a deep breath, he should have known it wasn't that simple. But something was different, his father was hard to reach most days but at the moment he was focused entirely on helping Youngjae. He would be able to fix this, even as Jinyoung found himself unable to do anything to help.

"Where were you?" Jinyoung questioned, he was feeling a bit frustrated and angry that the man could just leave them like that with no explanation. Still his father would offer none at all. 

"You're supposed to be at the mines today," his father stated, he was no stranger to the punishment Jinyoung could receive for that action. Jinyoung had gone through it several times, choosing Youngjae over his scheduled duties multiple times. He was all his brother could rely on. Jinyoung learned at a young age that his father was just a broken messed up man. He had almost completely abandoned them with their mother died, overcome by his own grief he chose alcohol over them. They would have all died without Jinyoung learning to keep them alive.

"Good thing I didn't go," Jinyoung replied as he knew his father would need an extra pair of hands, "what do you need?" 

"Start boiling some water," he stated, "we need to open his lungs." Youngjae was looking paler by the minute. Youngjae's lungs had been an issue for a long time, and everytime he got sick the main worry was making sure he could still breathe. Jinyoung started working on the water as their father laid Youngjae back down on the bed.

"I'm going to go get the herbs I need," his father said, "count his breaths, every 10 make sure he can take a deeper one still. If not you sit him back up." Jinyoung nodded, he would do whatever it took to help Youngjae. Jinyoung focused on his own task and occasionally stroked his younger brothers brow as he counted each breath. He hated this, he hated not knowing if Youngjae would be okay. He hated being worried and frightened. He wished everything would just be okay and stay okay. They kept ending up back here.

The night was a long one, his father worked with skilled hands that Jinyoung rarely saw anymore. He had found everything he needed and soon had a poultice on Youngjae's chest and Jinyoung noticed his breathing getting stronger and steadier each hour. Jinyoung had only ever seen his father this awake when Youngjae needed care like this, it always gave him a different perspective on the man. It displayed he still loved Youngjae even though the haze he was in ruled him most days. They both stayed up watching over him and caring for him through the night. Jinyoung followed every instruction he gave, Youngjae was worth them setting their differences aside. Jinyoung was exhausted deep in his body when Youngjae's fever finally broke. It was then that Jinyoung's father told him to get some rest. They both knew what was coming in the day that followed.

The next day was the reaping, the day where either of them could be taken away.


	2. The Reaping

Morning broke early for the family. Jinyoung felt exhaustion creeping into his bones from the lack of sleep. He glanced around the small home, his father was asleep in his bed and probably more exhausted then Jinyoung. Youngjae was sleeping next to him, the strength of his breathing was something Jinyoung could hear. Still he reached over and held his hand over Youngjae’s nostrils to feel that everything was okay. He needed to know that the younger had pulled through. Youngjae was everything to him, the brightest light in his life. When everything had gone bad it was that he knew he had to care for Youngjae that kept him alive. Without Youngjae Jinyoung would have been without purpose, hopeless, alone. He worried but over and over Youngjae did pull through. Their father said in the years to come he would get stronger and they would soon have no worries. Jinyoung prayed that day would come.

He put his head back down on his pillow for a moment, the day ahead of them hadn’t seemed so haunting and looming the night before. Now he realized that it was here, the reaping was here. He got up and bathed in preparation, it was customary for each child to show up clean and in their best clothing. In district 12 their best was nothing to smile about but he stuck with custom and he would make sure Youngjae did to. 

He woke Youngjae once he was ready. He could see the fear in the younger’s eyes as Jinyoung began to help him prepare. This was his first time, he wasn’t uses to handling the anxiety of this day. This was Jinyoung’s 6th time. Every child ages 12 through 18 would be present and accounted for, no one could get out of the reaping. To try meant death anyway. When Youngjae was almost ready he began to cry. Jinyoung grabbed him and pulled him close.

“You’re okay,” Jinyoung held him tight and rocked him back and forth, “it will all be okay. You’re going to make it, it will all be okay.” He said the words he wished someone had said to him when he was twelve years old. When he was facing this he faced it alone. No one tried to help him get through it. They finished getting ready and sat in silence, holding on to each others hands. Their dad had gone for a walk when he had woken up. He would return soon, he would probably walk with them in silence. He never offered words of comfort to Jinyoung before in the past, never tried.

They were hungry that morning and Jinyoung felt the waste of the night before hitting him. If he hadn’t traded for medicine he could have traded for food to help calm their nerves. There wasn’t much point in thinking through it. After the reaping he would have to report to the mines, probably to receive some morbid punishment for missing the day before. He focused on the thought of after, that usually helped him.

“Youngjae,” he said his brothers name, “what are you learning in school right now?” He wanted Youngjae’s mind on after as well.

“We’re learning about animals,” Youngjae responded. That was perfect, and it reminded Jinyoung of the pin he had bought.

“That reminds me,” he said, “I got you something yesterday from the market.” He pulled the pin from his bag and showed it to Youngjae. “It’s an Ahgase, you should wear it for good luck.” He didn’t believe in luck but he hoped it would comfort Youngjae at least. Youngjae took it with a smile and pinned it to his shirt.

“I love it,” Youngjae said, “thanks hyung.” The younger found it in him to smile and Jinyoung was very glad that Youngjae at least seemed much calmer. As calm as he could be in the face of this. This was the cost of the rebellion of the past, a time where history came into plan. 

Jinyoung didn’t like thinking about it, how for 74 years kids had been dragged from their families and set to an arena to die. That was the reality of their world. If it wasn’t him it was someone else whose young life was being stolen from them. It was twisted to hope that it would be someone else. That’s what the Capitol did to all of them, it twisted everyone to be like them. The districts would watch the games too and root for the children that they sent against the others even though everyone was the same. Even though none of them had a choice.

Their father arrived back before it was time to go and just looked at them both. No words like what Jinyoung expected. Jinyoung rarely saw anything in his fathers eyes but this time he saw sadness and regret, this time there was a deeply rooted fear Jinyoung didn’t fully understand. Jinyoung didn't allow himself to think on it, he didn’t allow himself to sympathize with it. He didn’t have much but resentment for this man for the things he had done and hadn’t done. The only reason Jinyoung still allowed him around was for Youngjae, or else Jinyoung would have pushed him and willed to never see him again.

They all walked together as a family, their eyes forward. Other families streamed from their homes, walking together and holding on to each other. Every single person in the district reported to watch, even though many had no children to worry for. Many people didn’t want children to worry over. As they reached sight of the registration area Youngjae stiffened, Jinyoung held his hand tight and kept moving forward. He believed Youngjae would be fine. There was no way he would be drawn. No way he could be. He was too young and his name was only in once. Youngjae froze completely as they got closer. Their father put a hand on the shoulder of his youngest, squeezed it and walked on to join the adults. He left Jinyoung to comfort Youngjae alone. Jinyoung glared after him.

"It's okay," Jinyoung said to him, “Youngjae just look at me. You have to stand in line with the other kids then I’ll find you after. The peacekeepers will tell you where to go just follow them. You’ll be okay, I promise.” 

Youngjae nodded and Jinyoung hugged him tightly before pushing him towards the line with the younger’s. Jinyoung got in his own line and was soon shuffled in after check in, he had done it multiple times so he was used to how it went. He searched the watching crowd searching for a familiar face, Mark’s. Mark’s sister was up for reaping, and Jinyoung knew he was anxious about her. Jinyoung’s eyes found him and Mark was watching him. The elder nodded and Jinyoung nodded back. He knew out of all of the ones they worried for he was in the most danger and no one knew what would happen.

The stage was all grey, concrete. It was harsh, hard lines that looked menacing and uninviting. Jinyoung always hated the town square and everything it represented. There were people on stage, the officials of the district and many peacekeepers in white lining the crowds. They surrounded the stage and everywhere. There weren’t many incidents in history where there were hysterics over selection. He heard one year many years ago in district 8 there was a riot over a young child that everyone knew being selected. Since then apparently there had been a lot more peacekeepers around during reaping time. 

A woman walked through the doors behind the stage, Jinyoung had seen her before. Her dress was outlandish, bright shades of orange and gold that reflected the sunlight. There was a contrast with her purple hair, that hung down her shoulders in giant waves. Jinyoung never got used to her painted up doll-like features. Everything about her was over done and bright. Her name was Hani, and she was the overly peppy tribute escort of district 12. She walked to the stand, where the microphone was. She stood next too two large bowls that held the name of every potential tribute. Jinyoung’s name was in the bowl to the left 28 times. The more he put his name in the more foods and medicines he got. He had needed to put it in so many times for Youngjae’s sake.

"Welcome, welcome!" She declared as she stood on the stage with a bright smile creasing her face paint. She always held her head high and projected her voice in a high sing-song like way. Jinyoung always thought her voice was annoying.

"The time has come to select our tributes." She preened, it looked strange and almost unnatural. She seemed to think this whole show was about her. "First we have a video from the capitol." It was the same dance every single year. Jinyoung knew it well, the way each beat of the video sounded. He had seen it all his life. It was a propaganda piece that made no sense, that made the hunger games seem like the savior of their society. In reality the thing keeping their society together was just a thing of fear. It wasn’t something to be celebrated and lauded over like the video made it seem. When it wrapped up the same line played that Jinyoung hated so much.  
This is a tradition to protect the peace of our nation. Thank you tributes for protecting us.

"Well don't you just love that?" Hani spoke as soon as it wrapped her honey sweet voice getting higher and higher with each excited phrase.

"Now time to select our tributes!" she exclaimed, “the ladies will be going first!” It was as if she didn't notice the dour mood and the lifeless expressions people wore. No one here was excited about this day, and her excitement seemed fake. It seemed like an act she put on. Maybe it was easier for her to pretend and ignore what this really was. The people of the Capitol didn’t understand how this felt, so maybe this was real excitement from her.

Hani fluttered her hand over the bowl before reaching down and pulling a name from deep inside. There were quite a few names in there. She walked back to the microphone and opened the piece of paper with a smile, as if she wasn’t about to destroy someone’s life. Winning in district 12 was pretty much thought of as impossible.. This was the moment the first person of the district was chosen for a death sentence in the name of a fearful peace.

"Sana Minatozaki," the woman announced the name on the piece of paper. Jinyoung always hated the moment a name was called, he hated feeling relief when it was someone he didn’t know. Feeling relief when someone else was in pain felt sick. He saw Sana going up to the stage slowly, she was shaking and clearly afraid. He remembered her from when they were younger, back when he was in school before his mother died. The sadness etched on her face even as she tried to be brave, he had seen that look so many times.

He had grown up believing that he never wanted to get married and that he never wanted to have kids. Because the pain of watching them stand for the reaping wasn’t something he was sure he could handle, and he knew the pain of seeing one taken away would probably be too much for him. He didn’t understand how through all these years people found the strength to raise kids knowing what they would have to do. Knowing that there was no way out of standing in that line and waiting to hear if you made it one more year or if you were the one who would be shipped off to die.

“Come Sana, what an honor!” Hani said to Sana.

No honor.

This was hell.

Sana stood on stage and kept herself from crying, Jinyoung could see that.

"And now time for the boys!" Hani declared with a brighter excitement. Jinyoung knew no one could be excited about this, that had to be fake. He didn’t want to believe anyone could be happy about what was going on here. Her hand hovered over the bowl, she plucked a name out and walked to the microphone. Jinyoung's heart pounded in his chest, this was it.

"Park Youngjae." The name was called.

Jinyoung's heart stopped it's brisk pace. Completely stopped, everything stopped. 

He felt like the breath had just been punched out of his chest.

That couldn’t be right.

Nothing could have prepared him for this.

Of every single possible…

Never this...

Jinyoung’s eyes searched as Youngjae began to move slowly from the crowd, from the other kids. Hani called him forward, called his name again. Jinyoung couldn’t let this happen, he couldn’t watch this. Jinyoung didn't even consider any other options, it wasn't even a question of what he should do. He knew what he had to do. As his baby brother stepped out of the group with tears in his eyes, shaking with the fear that he felt. Jinyoung rushed out of his own group.

"JAE!" he shouted for his brother, Youngjae turned back at the sound of his voice. "NO JAE." 

Peacekeepers were on him fast for stepping out of line but he didn't stop. He knew what he had to do, he knew what had to happen.

"I VOLUNTEER!"

He shouted, he cried it out. He had to do it. Every single eye of the district was on him now, he knew those were words they had never heard at any reaping in all 74 years of the games. He took a deep breath to ground himself in this moment. He knew what it meant and he knew this was the best thing to do. He couldn't let Youngjae go, he was too small and to fragile. If he went Jinyoung knew he wouldn’t make it and Jinyoung would rather risk his own life than Jae’s. 

He would rather die that lose his brother.

"I volunteer as tribute." Jinyoung affirmed as no one made a move. His eyes settled on Youngjae whose eyes widened as he realized what was happening. The horror and fear on his face, Jinyoung knew he realized everything. Youngjae ran towards him suddenly.

"We have a volunteer," Hani declared clearly shocked.

"Youngjae," Jinyoung said his his brother rushed to hug him so tight and strong. He knew Youngjae didn’t want to let go, but Jinyoung had to be stronger because he had promised Youngjae that everything would be okay. He had reassured him over and over again that morning. He had held him close and told him everything would turn out right. So he had to be strong, he had to show Jae that everything would be okay as he said. Someone touched his shoulder and he turned and it was Mark who had come from the crowd and Jinyoung knew why. Youngjae needed someone to hold onto while Jinyoung walked to that podium. Jinyoung nodded to him and knelt down to Youngjae’s level. He was still so small.

"Listen to me," Jinyoung said meeting his eyes and putting all the confidence he could in them, "it's going to be okay, you have to go with Mark. It’ll all be okay.” Youngjae looked so scared. Mark moved in to take him.

"NO!" Youngjae shouted as Mark pulled him off Jinyoung and lifted him up, "NO!!!" The younger boy was crying screaming but Mark took him and Jinyoung knew he couldn’t look back. He had to step forward, he had to meet his fate. He had to do it with assurance, to show Youngjae he wasn’t afraid. That everything would be okay. Everything had to be okay.

"Come up," Hani beckoned as he walked through the crowd towards the stage. People were silent all eyes still following his every move. Everything around him was frozen, like time wouldn’t release just yet. He stepped up the stairs on a stage he always hoped he could stay off of, this year had been his last one. The difference now was clear. He was willingly walking to the stage and willingly standing upon it. He was willing to risk it all and to lose it all because the alternative was something he could never see happen. He looked out and found Youngje's eyes crying as he held on tightly to Mark, he knew what a nightmare this was for the boy. Jinyoung wished Mark could take Youngjae far away from all this, not to see any more of what would happen. But they weren’t allowed to just leave.

"What is your name?" Hani asked him. He almost didn’t hear her but it was that moment where it felt like time was no longer frozen. Like they were moving forward.

"Park Jinyoung," he said his name into the microphone a part of him aware this was being broadcast around Panem like every other reaping throughout the last couple days. 

"And I am willing to bet that your brother?" she questioned him further. This story would sell well for her and he knew that. She was probably so excited to have a volunteer for the first time.

"Yes." Jinyoung answered truthfully, there was no reason to lie.

"Well that was very brave," she said to him in that same overly excited voice. It was like she didn’t understand what had just happened and what it meant to him and his brother. “Let's applaud our volunteer.” She probably expected applause, fanfare, something else than what she got. No one clapped, no one cheered. He knew what was happening, he had seen it before on tv one year. It started with one person. 3 fingers to the mouth then raised in the air, a gesture of solidarity and strength. A gesture of unity that was often seen as a gesture of rebellion. 

"Well that's it for our tributes," Hani said, completely ignoring what had just taken place, "may the odds be ever in your favor!"

They were shuffled back through the big doors in the cold concrete building. He caught Sana's eyes as they were both separated and dragged towards different rooms. He stayed calm through everything in him was running so fast. It was like all his nerves were firing at once and like he was going up in flames with what was going on. 

His mind couldn’t grasp it because it had never seemed real until now. The games were looming over him his whole life but he never thought he would actually be here, in the process of being taken to them. He had no idea what was going on but he was beginning to really feel the grip of fear in his chest. Everything was happening in a blur, too fast for him to process. This morning he had be worried about food now he was being taken away where his worries would be magnified in every way. 

He may never see his home again. Shock started to seize him and all he wanted was his family. All he wanted was to hold onto Youngjae and to have his dad there in some way, like the constant prescence he had been for so long. He felt like he was going to panic as he began to worry that he wouldn’t get a chance to say goodbye. He wanted to see them before he went away for good. It was beginning to register that he had just been thrown in a room and locked away from the outside world and from his family. He was a prisioner now for their games, their entertainment.

He didn't know what was happening around him but soon enough the doors open and in walked his father, Youngjae and Mark all together. The first one to hug him was Mark and his grip around Jinyoung was like a vice. He could tell that Mark was holding himself together for the others but that he wanted to cry as much as Jinyoung wanted to. 

"You're okay," Mark said as if reading the fact that Jinyoung could almost feel panic in his body, "it's gonna be okay, all okay.” The words Jinyoung had just spoken to Youngjae that morning. How untrue they had been, nothing was okay.

"Jinyoung," Youngjae had not stopped crying, Jinyoung could tell. Mark let go of Jinyoung so Jinyoung could kneel down and hold onto Youngjae. And in this moment Jinyoung allowed the tears to fall from his eyes, because he knew that he didn’t want to let go. He knew what he was walking into was something so big he probably couldn’t make it out. He wanted to tell Youngjae he would but he felt so uncertain, so afraid.

"You have to win," Youngjae’s small voice filled his ears as the younger boy reached for the pin attached to his clothing. Jinyoung pulled back as Youngjae unpinned the small Ahgase pin and held it out to Jinyoung. “To protect you, you need this to protect you.” He was so young, so innocent. Jinyoung knew he made the right choice. Jinyoung was so glad he was still able to. Had this happened one year later… He didn’t want to think about it.

"Jae," he said hugging his brother again, but seeing his brother willing to give him back the gifts he gave… Jinyoung knew what he had to say, what he had to do. What he had to fight for. He had to put everything out there, he had to try with all that was inside of him.

"I'll come back," he said to his younger brother, the light of his life in so many ways. His sunshine. He knew in a way he was Youngjae’s as well. There was so long when all they had was each other, they needed each other. That meant he had to return. ”I promise you, I will come home to you again.” 

He looked up at his father, the distant look in the man's eyes was back. It was the way he coped with his emotions, by shutting down and shutting everyone out. Jinyoung never understood why but he did understand that it needed to stop while he was gone because Youngmin would be all Youngjae had. He stood up unsure of what to say to a man he only felt anger towards, he knew he would regret it if he got angry here. He would regret it if he left here with the rift between them stronger than ever. 

"You have to watch over him while I am gone,” Jinyoung began as he choked up, “please stop shutting him out because you’re the only family he’ll have here. You have to be there for Youngjae…” Because you were never there for me. His mind thought, the incomplete sentence. He couldn’t say it.

"I will," his father said but Jinyoung was unconvinced. He had watched his father fail in so many ways. This was the same man that had pushed him aside when he was nine years old, when he had just lost his mother. 

"You have too promise me,” Jinyoung pressed it on him, he wanted him to feel it. He would not let the same thing happen to Youngjae that happened to him. He couldn’t go unless he was assured that wouldn’t happen.

"I promise," his father responded and Jinyoung felt that he meant it.

———

The day was a mess for him as people pulled and pushed him from place to place. He just wanted to sleep, and to hide away and let the emotions he felt out for a moment. He wouldn’t give these people the satisfaction of seeing him break down. When hours had passed he found himself being brought to a train with Sana. They were escorted by Hani aboard and led to the main dining car to sit and eat together. The car was filled with more luxury than he had ever imagined, but it looked like a prison despite the beauty of the gaudy arrays of golds an blue in the walls and carpets. Hani was going on and on about how they would get the finest of everything. They would be dressed up, made to look like those in the Capitol. He hadn’t watched the games but he had heard a bit about what happened leading up to it. 

"Well this is such an honor for the both of you," Hani said still speaking with that ridiculous tone of voice that he was beginning to hate more and more each moment, "it will be such a treat. You shall be treated to all the finest things the Capitol has to offer.”

Neither responded, Jinyoung felt empty and hollow and he knew Sana felt the same. He could see it in her body language that like him she was holding in everything she felt. Hani in contrast was smiling without a single care in the world. What was happening to them was really nothing to her.

"Well," she finally said breaking up her own monologue about tapestries, "it's certainly dreary in here. I'll go find Jaebeom, he's probably sleeping somewhere." She clenched her teeth as stood up and turned to exit the car. Lim Jaebeom. Jinyoung knew that name, everyone in the district did. He was their own legend, their first ever winner and he had done it when he was just 13 years old. Still, the reason he was a legend was that no one ever really saw him. Jinyoung didn’t know what he looked like past the time that he was a child, he was just a bit older than Jinyoung and he was the only one who they had to help them navigate through all this.

"Have you ever seen him?" Sana asked with a small voice. He turned and looked at her, she was shaking slightly and probably more afraid than he was even. 

“I saw him just after he won," Jinyoung replied, “almost did then for the victory tour.” 

"Nothing since then?" she asked.

"No," he replied, anyone else's answer would have been the same. Jaebeom lived in the victors village alone in luxury paid for by the Capitol. It was what every winner of the games got, a mansion and earnings every year to keep them free of any worries about survival.

The door to the car opened and Jinyoung turned to see their mentor enter the room. Jaebeom was nothing like he expected, and he didn’t have much of an expectation. The boy didn’t look older than him at all, and Jinyoung knew he was around Mark's age but seeing it made it real. He wore loose fitting clothes as he walked with heavy steps to the couch in the car without looking at them. His hair was dark colored and fell in wispy waves around his face but what was the most striking thing about him was his sharp eyes. One held a very distinct feature of two twin moles, they almost looked fake like they couldn’t be that matched.

Jinyoung registered again that he had walked right past them without sparing them a glance. After he had taken a seat he didn’t pay them any mind but rather looked like he was about to fall asleep. Maybe that was what Hani meant that he was probably sleeping. He looked bored and lethargic. Jinyoung should have known that he was going to have bad luck in all this. Their mentor wasn’t greeting them, wasn’t looking at them… Did he mean to ignore them as some sort of test? Was this some lesson he was trying to teach in their first moments? He was Irritated and Jinyoung had a bad habit of being more pushy when he was irritated by others. He stood up and walked over to sit opposite the apparently very drowsy mentor. Sana followed him but remained standing.

"My name is Jinyoung and this is Sana," Jinyoung said motioning to the girl, "we are the tributes in your care..." He trained off as he realized Jaebeom wasn’t even listening to him. His eyes were pointed out the window and he was staring off into space as if deep in thought. Jinyoung was more annoyed now. Was he deaf?

"HEY!" Jinyoung shouted to get his attention, “JAEBEOM.” The older scoffed at him and finally looked to meet his eyes.

"That's Hyung to you," were the first words Jaebeom spoke to him. His voice was deep, like a darker color. Jinyoung would describe it as the color of bricks, it was deep but there was something in his inflection that bore a hint of sarcasm.

"Hyung," Jinyoung stressed the word in response, "Are you just going to ignore us?” Then Jaebeom did something Jinyoung was definitely not expecting, he laughed at them. He looked at Jinyoung and laughed as if something he had said was funny. Jinyoung glanced back at Sana who seemed as exasperated as he was. Neither of them could figure this guy out at all.

"What's funny?" Jinyoung asked unsure. Jaebeom stopped laughing a few moments later and Jinyoung remained confused because Jaebeom did not explain.

"Listen pretty boy," Jaebeom finally spoke again, his words degrading in a way, "I never signed up for any of this." Jinyoung wanted to retort back that he hadn’t either but Jaebeom continued talking. "I didn't ask to be your little mentor. You're both dead any way, so just accept that nothing and no one can save you now and enjoy your last days in the extravagant luxury paid for by the capitol." Jinyoung blinked as his mouth dropped open, was this normal for mentors? Was it normal for them to brush their tributes aside and leave them hopeless?

"Well we didn't ask to be tributes," Jinyoung shouted what he was thinking, "we didn't ask for any of this either. But your the only one here who knows anything about what goes on in the arena, and I am not gonna let you ignore us because you don’t want to do your job!” He stood up and was about to storm out when he stopped unsure. Jaebeom didn’t say anything in response but Jinyoung felt like he had so much more to say.

"We're not useless," Jinyoung said to him, not yelling this time, "and I didn't sign up to die!" He couldn’t die in that arena, not when he had promised Youngjae he would come home.

"So you want her to die?" Jaebeom responded by turning it around on him and Sana jumped slightly at the argument. Jinyoung saw how upset she was by those words. He knew she didn’t want to die out there either and he didn’t want her to.

"I don't..." he was interrupted.

"That's how this works pretty boy," Jaebeom spoke as he leveled with Jinyoung the heart of all of it. "It's kill or be killed out there. Every single person going into that arena is your enemy. You were both each others enemies the moment your names were drawn. Who do you expect me to side with? Who do you want me to chose to support over the other? This is the sick game they force me to play. To pick a favorite and condemn the other to death. I'm not playing this game, so accept that and move on." Jinyoung was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say to that, how to respond. But Sana finally took a shot at talking to him.

"It doesn't have to be between us with you,” Sana said, "it's not like you're the one in the arena hunting us down. You can still help both of us. I don’t understand why you think you have to pick one or the other!” Her eyes pleaded. Jinyoung could see how desperate she was because it was how he felt as well. “Please.” Tears filled her eyes. "We're not hopeless, and if we think we are then we've already lost. If you make us think we are, then aren’t you the ones condemning us both to death?“ Jinyoung raise his eyebrows at the strength of her argument.

“The truth is simple,“ he replied to her, "kids in 12 don't win. It is absolutely hopeless to believe you can, that’s not my fault. That’s just how it is. I’ve watched enough kids die now to know there is no other way this is going to go.” Jinyoung hated this, he hated hearing this. He wanted someone to tell him that he wasn’t going to die, that it was possible to live through the nightmare he was facing.

"You won," Jinyoung brought up the truth, "you did it when the odds were completely against you so either of us could. You don’t get to decide that there is no way when there is always a way.” He saw Jaebeom roll his eyes at him, like he wasn’t even hearing the depth of what Sana had said and what he was saying now. How did someone just decide not to care like this?

"Please," Sana begged again. "One of us won't make it out or neither of us will will, but you could help us survive just that much longer if you help us. Don't ignore us because of how things have gone in the past.” Jinyoung was impressed by Sana. She was bringing up the arguments that actually did matter in this mess. He didn't ever know her well before the reaping but he had definitely counted her out before this. She had determination and a strength he could see now that could actually make a huge difference in the arena.

"I'm sorry," Jaebeom responded, unyielding to her request. “There is nothing I can do.” Jinyoung was livid now, the anger that was building in him bubbled to the surface.

"You really are the deadbeat they say you are," Jinyoung jumped back into the argument by bringing up the words he had heard for years. People had stories to tell on why no one ever saw their famed lone victor. "Everyone at home whispers that you're nothing but a coward but I thought you at least had guts after winning an impossible games yourself. What made you such a jackass?” He knew he was pushing it but he couldn’t contain the anger he felt. This man had the audacity to push them aside and leave them for dead before the game had even begun. He wasn’t going to let this happen, losing wasn’t an option. When Jaebeom did respond it wasn’t what Jinyoung expected.

"As if you know anything," Jaebeom spoke softly almost as if it wasn't meant to be heard. There was no anger in response to the things that he said, just lethargy.

"No you know nothing," Jinyoung declared to him, “you know nothing about me and what I am capable of. I'm not going to go into that arena as if it's the end and thinking I have no chance. I'm going to win this fight, with or without your sorry ass." He then stormed out of the room.

He walked briskly through the train cars and towards the rooms that Hani had showed them earlier. He opened the door to his own and slammed it and locked it. He was so angry and the emotions of the whole day began to rise to the surface. He was alone here but he held them in because he didn’t feel safe.

———

Jinyoung was laying on the bed in his room on the train for what felt like hours when he heard a knock on his door. He stood up and walked to open it and when he did he found Jaebeom on the other side looking as lethargic in his eyes as he did before. Jinyoung didn’t want to deal with him.

"So pretty boy," Jaebeom already began their second conversation with the wrong choice of words, "I have been sent by the girls on this train to tell you it is time for lunch.” Jinyoung didn’t care what time it was, he wasn’t going anywhere that Jaebeom was. He already hated this guy so much, he wished he was from any other district so he could have a mentor that actually cared and not this ass.

"Asshole," Jinyoung simply said to him and then he slammed the door and locked it. A knock came again, Jinyoung huffed in anger. He wasn't going to go with him. Not after how he had basically told them they had no chance when all Jinyoung needed was one chance. His mind was filled with thoughts of Youngjae since he had left and how Youngjae had made him promise he would win. He had promised. He needed to win to get back home and he needed to get back home because his brother needed him. He was so scared that Youngjae would suffer if he didn’t make it home. He took deep breaths to calm himself so he wouldn’t cry. Not here. He wanted to be strong, to show everyone around him that he wasn't to be messed with. He needed to keep his head up.

“If you don't come they're going to come drag you out," Jaebeom replied, "Hani and Sana have become friends... They're basically partners in crime now.” Jaebeom sounded different with those last few sentences. He sounded younger, more his age, like a peer more than a mentor. Still Jinyoung didn't budge for any of it. He didn't particularly need food, he'd gone hungry enough times before that he was used to the feeling. Besides that he didn't want to get used to eating well since he knew he probably wouldn't have much opportunity one he got inside the arena.

"Look maybe I've been a bit rude..." Jaebeom spoke again than stopped. That was all Jinyoung needed to get clued in that Im Jaebeom hadn't changed his tone about the whole thing, his tone of voice made that clear enough. He wouldn't help them, he didn’t want to help them. He knew why mentors were important from what he had heard about the games. Mentors were the only people who could get sponsors for the tributes in the games. Sponsors could make the difference of whether someone won or lost. Without Jaebeom’s willingness to help them that meant they had no chance for sponsors and thus no chance to win. That frightened Jinyoung. He stared down at the ground as if it was the only thing to keep him level as his mind raced.

"Jinyoung," his head shot up at the sound, it was the first time Jaebeom had actually used his name to address him. "I'm not here to play any games with you kids, and this isn't the time for pouting and hiding. You need to come to lunch now, maybe some of the things I have to say can help you…” Was that an offer to help? Jinyoung couldn’t tell with this guy anymore. Still he was all fire and all pride. He wouldn’t go. He walked back to his bed and laid down. 

Jaebeom didn’t try again, that was his last time asking for Jinyoung to come with him and no one else came to get him. Jinyoung closed his eyes, he was tired. It would be good to get some sleep before they arrived. A few hours later he felt the train slowing, he had dozed off a bit but he was restless. He wished he could sleep more since the night beore he hadn’t gotten much sleep for caring for Youngjae. He worried again, who would help if Youngjae got sick again? His dad always needed Jinyoung to help. He was beginning to feel his hunger more and his reasons for staying in the room were making less and less sense. He wasn’t one to shy away from challenges, even when those challenges were difficult people.

He crept out of the room in search of the others and found all 3 of them in the dining car. Sana was speaking in a lively voice about school, something Jinyoung didn’t get. Since his mother died he was pulled out of school by the need to survive. Because someone needed to get them food with their dad shutting down like he had. Jinyoung was the only one who could help his family. Hearing Sana talk about school made him remember the things he had missed. He glanced out the windows of train and saw a sight he never thought he would see, the Capitol was in view.

“Jinyoung!” Sana noticed him first and called his name, “you’re back!” It was as if she had forgotten the situation they were in with her face was lit up with a bright smile. Or Jinyoung began to think that maybe Jaebeom had actually picked sides and had decided to help her due to Jinyoung’s poor attitude. That would be how Jinyoung lost the Hunger Games if he ended up losing, because of his own pride his mentor decided to favor the pretty girl as the tribute he would support instead of Jinyoung. He realized he was already thinking of Sana as the enemy which was exactly what the Capitol wanted. His mind was a mess. He walked slowly to take the empty seat at the table and ignored Sana but that wasn’t easy.

“The Capitol!” Sana squealed, she stood up and ran to the windows to see it for herself. She didn’t notice Jinyoung’s attitude which as good. When he was younger his mother always told him his attitudes were like glass windows, that hadn’t changed much as he grew. Jinyoung grabbed some of the food at the table and put it on his plate. He risked a glance at Jaebeom and found the elder watching him, almost analytical in his gaze. A curiosity present in his sharp eyes. Jinyoung glared at him then looked away to continued his task with getting food. He was careful not to get too much.

“So,” Jaebeom spoke directly to him, “Sana told me you’re good with a bow, really good.” Jinyoung continued to ignore him. The irony of that action dawned on him because that was what Jaebeom had set out to do when he had first entered the dining car earlier. The tables had turned. So Jinyoung looked him in the eye to speak to him.

“Did she tell you my life story too, or were you gonna wait to ask me that?” Jinyoung couldn’t help the way the snark rolled off his tongue. He wasn’t going to give this guy anything but disdain for the things he had said.

“Now’s not the time pretty boy,” Jaebeom replied, so now he was back to using condescending nicknames. Jinyoung rolled his eyes but he wanted to strangle the elder. “You could learn a thing or two from Sana over there. She is doing so much more than you.” He looked up and saw Sana waving with enthusiasm to the crowd outside and realized what was happening and what this meant. Jaebeom was telling him something. This game it was more than just a fight to the death, life and death could be decided with the smallest of actions in the here and now. The game had begun the moment they stepped on the train and Jinyoung found he wasn’t ready for it.


	3. Tributes Parade

The capitol was shining, glistening in the sun but Jinyoung could see that it was all cold metals and harsh grays. It might seem magnificent but there was a foreboding within. There was nothing beautiful about a world of concrete and metal. He began to wonder if any of the people in the Capitol had seen a forest or knew what it felt like to exist out in nature. Perhaps the only glimpse of it they’d ever gotten were by watching children die in arena’s built out of the harshest parts of nature. Still would take the dangers of nature over the dangers of the mind games he knew he would surely find here.

They were told their schedule the night they got in, each day would hold a time of preparation for a week or so. He didn’t understand why the process of preparing for a death arena would take so long, but on the first day he realized how different the world of the Capitol was to his own. When they arrived they were taken to a penthouse, a giant one and each given extravagant rooms to stay in. Jinyoung found his closet was filled with clothing and the stuff he chose to wear at first fit, so they knew what kind of sizing he needed. It was quite creepy. The day of the reaping had been emotional, and he was surprised that after he had a free evening to rest. The next morning he was forced to eat breakfast with Hani, Sana and Jaebeom before being taken to get “styled.” The biggest thing of note that happened at breakfast was that Hani condescendingly called the tributes dirty animals that needed to be cleaned. Every bit of rhetoric seemed to add to the feeling he had always gotten about the Hunger Games. Once tributes were reaped, they became property and would no longer be treated like human.

True to what Hani said he was treated like an animal, stripped naked and cleaned to every inch with no regard to his self consciousness and pride. It was humiliating to be examined so closely by other people, he wanted to disappear the entire time. It was worse than the idea of the arena in his mind during those moments. They trimmed his unruly hair down to a polished style, did some thing to his body to remove the hair there which seemed odd to him. They also cleaned his nails and polished them till his hands didn’t look like they’d seen a day of work in their life. He was confused as to what these treatments would have to do with fighting to the death. It was like everything in the Capitol was about image, even image in the worst things.

“You’re the best we’ve ever gotten from 12,” the girl who had worked on cutting his hair said, “so pretty!” She had pulled out a bunch of pieces of clothing and was holding them up to his face and smiling so brightly.

“We should dye his hair!” She declared with a squeal. His eyes widened, he didn’t want a different hair color on his head. Especially not like these people. Everyone in the Capitol had colors that were just unnatural. The girl herself had bright pink hair that just looked ridiculous.

“Bam expressly told us not to,” the boy in front of him said. He was the one who had been responsible for cleaning Jinyoung was busy filling his nails down because apparently they couldn’t be perfect enough to suit him.

“Oh he’s no fun, I’m sure what I have in mind is natural enough to meet his standards,” she said as she caressed his face with her disgusting long nails. He wished they were just tossed in arena upon arrival. This was it’s own kind of torture, and he wasn’t okay with it. He didn’t want them dying his hair any unnatural colors, giving him any more beauty treatments or calling him pretty anymore. The man slapped the woman’s hand away from his head.

“Now is not the time Jennie,” he said in an annoyed tone of voice, “if you wanna make any big changes like that you have to get approval from BamBam and you know that.” Jinyoung was relieved that she couldn’t do anything without approval.

“BamBam’s almost here,” someone else entered the room to report. So he would meet the man responsible for saving his hair soon. The boy who was working on his nails finished up and Jinyoung glanced down, it was odd seeing his nails clean. They had never looked good once in his life, they had never needed to. But at the moment they were really shiny, and it seemed unnatural. He found out the boy’s name was Taehyung, and he was the one who led Jinyoung to a room in the side of the facility. There he was told to get on the table in the room at to wait for BamBam to arrive. He was dressed in a simple white shirt and white pants, he wasn’t sure why he should have to lay on a table but he followed orders.

The door of the room opened to reveal BamBam, his head stylist. He was a strange looking man, well he was more of a boy than a man. The clothing he wore was gaudy, bright and his hair was bright red. His eyes were unnaturally blue and he had metal woven throughout his ears. Jinyoung was never going to get used to the dress style the people of the Capitol favored, it spoke of luxury and lack of need to work.

“You are certainly the bravest kid anyone has ever seen from 12,” BamBam said with a bright smile on his face. “The whole Capitol can’t stop talking about it! You’re going to do very well here Jinyoung.” Jinyoung was confused, there was nothing brave about what he did. It was what he had to do, there was no other option.

“That wasn’t bravery,” Jinyoung responded, he was tired of people seeing it that way. He wished they would understand he was still scared.

“It takes courage to do something like that,” BamBam replied, “we’ve seen volunteers before, but never for family and never in 12. Everyone expects kids in 12 to be scared little runts with no chance, you’re different. You’ve got the makings of a victor.” He got close to Jinyoung and moved his hands to rearrange his hair. These people had no respect for personal boundaries, they keep touching him and he didn’t like it.

“They certainly did a lot to you,” BamBam said “I told them to keep things as natural as possible.” He reached down to inspect Jinyoung’s nails.

“I just don’t understand what any of this has to do with the games?” Jinyoung questioned as BamBam grabbed his chin to inspect his face. He was getting more uncomfortable. BamBam smiled.

“It has everything to do with the games,” he replied as he stepped back and looked him over, up and down. Jinyoung didn’t like any of this, he would rather go straight to the arena, “The game can not be one by will alone, it’s a multifaceted fight.” BamBam held his hands up as if measuring.

“Then how do you win?” Jinyoung asked, he needed everything he could. He had to get back to Youngjae.

“You have to sway the public,” BamBam stated, “to get them to love you and root for you above the others. If they love you the most they will fight the battle for you on the outside. Jinyoung you’re already the talk of the Capitol, now each day matters. You need to keep their attention on you and you alone.”

“I’m no good at any of that,” Jinyoung replied. He normally didn’t get along with others, that’s why he had one friend. He didn’t even get along with his own father. People always said he had a difficult personality, that he was stubborn and never listened to others. He had always found that others easily got the wrong idea of him, so why should he listen to them? He had even gotten off on the wrong foot with his mentor the day before, he had to at least try to stay on BamBam’s good side so he could learn what it took to walk out of that arena.

“That’s why I’m here,” BamBam said to him. The strange boy now grabbed his hands and pulled him up to sitting position, “I was promoted to head stylist this year, I had the option of transferring to another district but the moment I saw you I knew I had to stay in district we. You’re really pretty, your face is perfect and your eyes are beautiful!” Jinyoung grimaced, in his whole life no one had ever called him that until being taken away for a death game. Why wouldn’t they just stop saying things like that? Jaebeom had kept calling him that in condescension and now his stylist was calling him that, could such a statement lose him the games? He didn’t want to be pretty, he wanted to be dangerous. Aside from that he realized what BamBam was saying, what his role was.

“So you’re here to make people like me?” Jinyoung asked him. BamBam now made him stand up and pulled his hand to the mirror in the room, he spin his hand to ask Jinyoung to spin around. Jinyoung had enough. “Can you stop!”

“Stop what?” BamBam asked with a clear confused voice.

“Stop this...” Jinyoung didn’t know how to say it, “I’m not an object on display! Stop touching me and acting like I am some sort of object!” BamBam just laughed at him.

“Jinyoung, you have to know from now on you are an object,” he said, “hold on to that fire you have in you but accept the truth. You will not be treated like your own person anymore” BamBam’s tone of voice got serious. “All people will see you as is an object, a toy of the Capitol. You are a doll on display. You have to embrace the process you are being put through. You have to build an image of yourself and forget who you are beneath it. From now on people will treat you worse than I am, you have to play the game better than anyone else. That is how you win this.”

Jinyoung frowned as he heard those words. He didn’t want to be a part of this process, this game. He had signed up to fight not to become a puppet, but he was beginning to understand the games went much deeper. They didn’t begin with the cannon sounded in the arena, they began the moment he volunteered. He had to play the game against his mentor, his stylist and everyone else to rise at the top of the leader board. The games didn’t begin in the arena. They had already begun and he wasn’t ready for them.

He was returned to Hani as soon as styling finished and he saw Sana in passing. Hani escorted him back to the penthouse where they would eat lunch before the parade. He arrived and glanced around. He didn’t like the luxury of this place, it was all stone and bright colors. There was a large kitchen with marble counters and stone flooring. The dining room had a table made entirely of glass, that seemed so breakable. He walked through the penthouse to get to his room and on the way he passed the sitting room which was filled with large purple couches. He noticed their mentor was passed out on one of the couches, Jaebeom was laying with a few empty bottles of alcohol next to him. Jinyoung was worried about his chances in the games with such a young drunk mentor. He rolled his eyes and continued to his room.

His room was simple, wall to wall with a dark brown carpet. A large bed sat in the middle of it, with fabrics so rich he didn’t find them comfortable. The walls were a dark grey and there was a massive window looking out to the city below. He also had a washroom of his own with stone flooring. Everything was so clean, like there had never been dirt there. He found himself missing the smell of soil, and the feeling of the earth beneath his feet. He sat down on the bed and started out the window. This place was unnerving to him. In his whole life he had never wanted to see the Capitol.

He had never wanted to see the place that was home to those who enslaved them. He had never wanted to see the people who had everything at the expense of those in the districts who gave everything for this place to exist. He had known hunger before he had understood how to speak. He had known the pain of loss before any child should have had to. Life in the districts was nothing, and it was because of the people in front of him. The people he had to sway to get home.

He had no idea how to follow BamBam’s advice, to get people to like him. He wished he didn’t have to. He didn’t want these people to like him, he wanted to change things. He wished so badly that he never had to come to this place, to look upon it’s decadence. Youngjae’s name was drawn so he was forced into it. He couldn’t believe how badly things had gone and he couldn’t stop considering it.

Why had things had to go so wrongly? Of course he had volunteered, he would never let his brother go through this. Youngjae was too small, to sick and now Jinyoung wasn’t there to help him. He worried so much about Youngjae. He worried that Youngjae was eating enough now that he was gone. He worried Youngjae cried alone, what if their father wasn’t there. Youngjae needed Jinyoung, they were all each other had for so long. Jinyoung had to play the game, he had to win the games because he had to get home. There was no other option but making it through and making it home.

He would do whatever it took to find his way home again. For one family member who he loved more than anything. He didn’t care what challenges came, he was determined to be the winner of the 74th Hunger Games. There was only one and it had to be him. And he hated that to do that he not only had to posture himself before a crowd of people living off the pain of others, he had to kill. He had to kill kids who were like him, who just wanted to get home as well. Every single child going into the arena was the same as him. He couldn’t get that part out of his head, it was in the back of his mind playing over and over. This game was a fight to the death they would all face. There was only one winner, one could go home while the rest would die. He didn’t want to die, he didn’t want to kill. He didn’t know what he was going to do.

He wondered also what Sana was going to do. She was an enemy, a rival in this game and she seemed to already understand the ways to win. She had begun the game when it began, and he didn’t know what to think. He’d heard district tributes were often uneasy allies who fought with each other and inevitably betrayed each other. Sana had done one thing Jinyoung couldn’t, she’d gotten Jaebeom to give advice.

Jinyoung laid on the bed staring out the window letting his thoughts run wild as he watched hovercrafts fly by. About an hour later there was a knock on his door and he opened it to reveal Hani. Her hair had changed, it was suddenly bright blue and her eyes were covered in blue paint as well. She smiled at him and told him lunch was ready in her annoying tone of voice. He followed her to the dining room and she had decided her point of topic was Sana, she couldn’t stop talking about Sana.

“Sana looks so beautiful after styling,” she kept saying, “Jungyeon said she was going to be the talk of the town after the parade, I have a feeling this is going to be the best year for us!” Jungyeon was Sana’s stylist, she looked the least outlandish of all those he’d met. Except for Taehyung, Taehyung only acted outlandish he actually looked normal.

When they reached the dining room Jaebeom and Sana were already there. Jaebeom was talking to her about something, Jinyoung caught a few words as he focused on taking a seat and looking at the food in front of him. Sana did look good, like she was meant for this.

“…the problem is even the higher rated players have issues with sponsorships,” Jinyoung began to listen in to what Jaebeom was saying. It was probably useful information that he had decided to share before Jinyoung had arrived. “Even some of the most sponsored players don’t use their chances like they should. It is easy to try and rely on miracles, not easy to be determined to win.”

He had been under the impression Jaebeom wanted nothing to do with them, he had turned that around in a day. Now he was helping, giving advice to Sana when Jinyoung wasn’t around. Maybe he’d decided to make Sana a winner and push Jinyoung aside for being impertinent. He had a problem viewing everyone around him as nothing more than enemies.

“What’s it like on your side getting the sponsorships for tributes?” Sana asked him a really good question.

“It’s like being in a game on this side,” Jaebeom stated, “everything here is like that. Don’t expect anything from anyone around you, they’re trying to get something from you as well.”

Jinyoung got a good look at Sana now, they had lightened her hair just slightly and cleaned her up as well. Hani was right she was stunning. She was getting their mentor to say things while he had just ignored him to a point that he was being ignored back. He had to do something to join in on the conversation.

“What kinds of things do sponsors send?” Jinyoung asked and Jaebeom turned and looked at him with his eyebrows raised as if he hadn’t been expecting him to speak at all. It was true Jinyoung had been very very good at ignoring. That morning at breakfast he hadn’t said a single word to anyone.

“Have you decided you’re done acting childish?” Jaebeom questioned him and Jinyoung dropped his fork, it made a clattering sound on the plate as he leveled his own eyes at the mentor and glared. Jaebeom smiled in response, clearly enjoying how easy it was to get under Jinyoung’s skin. He had never met someone as annoying in his life, he wanted to punch the smile off Im Jaebeom’s face. Hani sighed loudly at the tension in the room.

“Can you two stop?” Hani wailed putting her head in her hand, “you’re both just wearing on my patience.” As if that plastic woman had any to begin with. He stopped himself from retorting at her statement. Jaebeom began to glare at him as well, the smile faded. Neither of them would relent on their initial impressions of one another, neither would ever want to work together. Jinyoung had often wished he lived in another district, never more-so than in this moment. He couldn’t just go trade mentors with another group.

“So Jinyoung,” Jaebeom said to him, “do you think this game is one of pouting? That you can act like a child and get something out of all this? Grow up.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes and looked back down at his place.

“Asshole,” Jinyoung said again shaking his head. Jaebeom sighed but Jinyoung wasn’t done. “You’re one to talk when you basically told us to have fun dying. You still smell like all the alcohol you’ve been consuming since you got on the train. You’re a sad excuse for a mentor.” He didn’t regret a single word.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebeom said pointedly his tone elevated and angry, “I am not the enemy here. You’re not going to win anything if you insist on acting like a brat to everyone who is trying to help.”

“So that’s what you call it,” Jinyoung shot back. Jaebeom looked at the roof and took a deep breath.

“Just calm down,” Jaebeom responded in an exasperated tone of voice, “if you haven’t noticed I am literally actually trying to help. You’re going to lose this game if you don’t shape up and start playing it.” Jinyoung held back from letting out another retort. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he had to win his mentor over to get his help even if he already hated him. What Jaebeom had said on the train hurt, he didn’t want to feel like the had no chance. He wanted to win. He opened his eyes and saw Jaebeom was still watching him and he glared in response but he kept his mouth shut. He would just have to stay silent through all this.

“Now what I was saying,” Jaebeom went back to what he had been speaking about before, “you can’t rely on anyone on this side to win the game for you. You could win the people over in an instant and then lose them even an hour later. You’re not the only one on screen in front of them during the game, the game makers sell a product. You have to be the most marketable. To survive you need to be on guard against everyone, you need to be someone they and root for. You also need to understand you will need allies in the games but you can never rely on them. You can never fully trust that anyone will stay on your side.”

“Then why even have allies?” Sana asked, “why need anyone who is just going to turn on you?”

“Because even temporary allies can save your life,” Jaebeom continued, “the single action of an ally in the beginning could keep you alive for one day longer. You surely can’t trust them completely but if you have no one when the canon sounds you’ll find yourself dead the moment it begins.”

“But couldn’t an ally could kill you before you even noticed,” Sana replied, “why isn’t it better to stay alone?”

“Does everyone have the same objective in the game?” Jaebeom countered her question with another.

“Yes,” Jinyoung replied taking the initiative to speak, “we all want to live, to get home.”

“No,” Jaebeom replied, offering no immediate explanation. Jinyoung was confused,that was the objective of the game. Make it home at all costs, even the costs to himself and who he was before the games began.

“But we all do,” Sana replied backing up his statement, “ everyone wants to be that one winner to go home, that one person who doesn’t die.”

“Sure that may be true,” Jaebeom said with a faraway look in his eyes, “ at first. What happens here will change many of you... Not everyone wants to live before it ends.” Jaebeom spoke softly, “Once the cost of each life is weighed, not everyone wants to change to get out. This is a game that will change you and if you do not change you will die. Not everyone changes the same way. Some are determined to get home, some just want to prove themselves to someone they love but some find themselves feeling empty. Some take their own lives out there because becoming the person Yang wants them to be is something they can’t bring themselves to do. You don’t know where you’ll end up on the spectrum, you may find yourself wanting it all to end.”

Jinyoung felt the weight of his words and wondered if Jaebeom had felt like that. There was an emotion to his voice, a certain emptiness. Jinyoung hadn’t watched the games the year Jaebeom won, he didn’t know what it was that he had gone through to earn it. He only knew Jaebeom had been very young, and that it was a shock to everyone. How much had the games changed him and who was he before he entered the arena?

“How did you win?” Jinyoung asked him. Jaebeom famously didn’t have the support of sponsors nor any allies in the game. Jinyoung wished then that he did know more about him, maybe he could figure out then how to make Jaebeom give him everything he knew.

“Lunch is over,” Jaebeom pushed his chair back and stood up and left quickly.

“Typical,” Jinyoung muttered, they were just getting to the heart of things. Of course Jaebeom would only give them surface level information.

“He won by hiding,” Sana said softly and Jinyoung turned his attention back to her. She was watching after their mentor, her expression unreadable.

“What?” Jinyoung asked her.

“I watched,” Sana responded, “I was very young so I don’t remember that well. My brothers took me to the two square to watch with them. I remember Jaebeom hid in the trees, no one could find him. He lit fires in the forest and took out a bunch of tributes. I’d say the games changed him…” She trailed off and Jinyoung looked after him.

He had been thirteen years old.

Maybe Jinyoung wasn’t been fair to him after all. He sighed and looked down at his plate, he had barely touched his food. He didn’t want to. He looked back out at the city, a city that lusted for blood. He wondered how such a place could exist, how people could exist who desired it. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer  
——  
That afternoon came quickly and Jinyoung was pulled around by Jennie and Taehyung as they prepared him according to BamBam’s instructions. He had never been more uncomfortable in his life, and considering the treatment he had been given earlier in the day that spoke volumes. The ritual of the tributes parade was simple. The tributes stylist would dress them up in a costume to represent their district, the tributes would then ride chariots through the streets of the Capitol to be paraded like cows at an auction. He knew that district 12 usually dressed as coal miners and were the ones that were never noticed by the public, that was what he expected to be dressed as.

How wrong he was. Taehyung pulled him into a room and covered his body in an oily substance and then doused him with a powder. He was then carefully slid into a thick black, shiny body suit which was then accented with green and yellow sparkles, around the neck wrist and ankles. The costume smelled horrible and felt even worse. He couldn’t walk and he was squeezed completely in all the worst ways. When they had tried to get him in the first time it had twisted around his leg and actually caused a burning feeling.

BamBam had been so insistent about it working so they tried again and got it on him. He couldn’t sit down in the ridiculous costume so Taehyung used a stool to paint his face up. He would much rather be a coal miner who no one remembered than any of what they were putting him through. After they had finished prepping him people had to actually help him walk towards the chariots because he couldn’t bend his legs. He was sure he would pass out from locking his knees, and then people would be talking about him for all the wrong reasons. Maybe that was the plan after all.

“Bam’s been working on this design since he saw you volunteer!” Taehyung said to him as they walked. So he’d worked on the design since the day before and decided since Jinyoung volunteered he needed to be slid into a torture device. Maybe this was what Yang used on citizens who disobeyed his laws. The paint on his face was suffocating, his hair was styled up and it actually felt like a weight on his head. He looked up and saw BamBam and Jungyeon approaching the chariot with Sana. She was in a similar suit to his and also had trouble walking, her hair done elaborately and was quite interesting. He wondered how they did her hair like that. BamBam pushed her next to Jinyoung and smiled brightly.

“Seeing a vision come to life is the best feeling in the world,” He declared, “you two are going to steal everyone’s hearts.” BamBam grabbed their hands and walked them towards the back of the chariot. “In the past 12's costumes have been droll, I believe though as the last you should be the best.” BamBam was beaming. "Besides you two are also stunning, no way I could dress you like coal miners."

"I am a coal miner," Jinyoung replied wanting to point out the irony of BamBam’s statement.

“You are? Stunny coal miners exist,” BamBam laughed very loudly, how young was this kid. Jinyoung wasn't used to anyone laughing loudly around him nor trying to compliment him and he didn’t know what to do. Sana giggled at his flustered expression and it made him uncomfortable so he looked away. He saw two more people coming through the crowd, it was Jaebeom and Hani walking together and talking with very serious expressions on their face. As they approached Jaebeom’s eyes went to Jinyoung and flitted along his form in that suit. Jinyoung didn’t like how exposed he felt.

"What is it this year?" Hani asked also looking him over as well as Sana, "this looks out of the ordinary for us.”

"They're not coal miners," BamBam said loudly. He was practically jumping around them and pushing their posture up as if Jinyoung could be standing any straighter with the costume holding him in place.

"Then what are they?" Jaebeom asked slowly and with a tone that was clearly annoyed at the eccentric stylist. BamBam laughed at him.

“Way to bring the mood party pooper,” BamBam said to Jaebeom, "they're coal itself. Coal is rumored to be the material that once put under enough pressure will form diamonds. And thus..." BamBam pulled something out of his pocket. It was a little black box with a switch, he flipped a switch and the suits they were in began to glow an bled of colored iridescent lights, some white and some brighter colors. Jinyoung’s mouth dropped open as he looked down to see the lights around him. In his whole life he could have never imagined anything like it, how had they done this? BamBam quickly turned off the lights and Jinyoung wanted them back just to figure out how they worked.

"They'll be the highlight of the show," BamBam smiled, clearly proud of himself for what he had done. Jinyoung was amazed and glad that at least the pain he had been put through to put the costume on would be worth something.

"From an assistant to the lead, and this," Jaebeom said to BamBam clapping him on the shoulder with both his hands, "this is brilliant." BamBam laughed again and Jinyoung began to notice that there was a sort of friendship between Jaebeom and BamBam, as if they knew each other well.

"I have planned this for awhile," BamBam stated, "we're going to get people rooting for the underdogs this year. It’s time for district 12 to take the spotlight.” Jaebeom had a pride in his eyes looking at BamBam speak. Jinyoung wondered about it.

He glanced around the room as well and he saw the other tributes, hungry eyes watching them. He wondered if they all knew that he was supposedly the talk of the Capitol after volunteering. He didn’t like the expressions on many of their faces, as if they were sizing him up. He also noticed a lot of the guys were eyeing Sana in a way that was condescending, Jinyoung moved in front of her blocked their view of her. She was oblivious to it but he felt better without them being able to ogle her. He glared at a couple of them. He was surprised at how easily he recognized most of their districts by their outfits. One of the guys staring definitely from district 1. He turned back towards his group to see Hani had moved away to talk to another escort and his eyes met Jaebeom’s whose eyes were on him.

"Changed your mind about helping us?" Jinyoung asked him, raising his eyebrows. Jaebeom seemed a lot more interested at the moment than he had the day before. After how much info he gave them at lunch, Jinyoung wondered what game he was playing.

"Don't get ahead of yourself pretty boy," Jaebeom scoffed, "I haven't helped you at all." He then walked away from the group, leaving Jinyoung more confused and irritated. He huffed and BamBam waved him on.

“Time to go you two,” BamBam said and they entered the chariot. He didn’t have time to think about his mentor’s behavior, it was time to prepare to be a part of the show. Time to play the game. The doors of the staging area open and chariots began to move out. It would be a long time before theirs would go since they were last.

"This is it," Jinyoung said, thinking it was best to talk to Sana. She nodded, she was in exactly the same boat as him. They both were facing a world they didn’t quite understand.

“You nervous?” she asked.

“Of course,” Jinyoung replied.

“Yeah,” she said with a nervous laugh, “well let's win them over.” She smiled and he wasn’t sure why. He didn’t understand her, but he knew she was playing the game too. They were probably playing against each other in all this and it made him sad. They both came from the same hometown, knew the same hardships. They could probably relate in many ways if they weren’t stuck in this endless battle at every moment.

Their time came and their chariots started to move towards the crowd. Jinyoung looked up and his eyes were blinded first by bright lights but the roar reached his ears. The people were cheering and screaming and there were so many of them. He wondered how many people lived in the Capitol. They filled stands that stretched out along the streets and they were all loud. So loud he felt like his ears might burst from the sounds. There was so much input, so much that he couldn’t focus on. He longed at that moment to be back in the forest, in peace and quiet.

The people in the stands were screaming over 24 kinds being sent into a death match. When the weeks ended only one would still be alive, and the thought made him sick. Sana reached and grabbed his hand.

“We got a job to do,” she said with a smile. They held hands and she smiled so he smiled and as they reached the center of the road their costumes lit up. The bright colors surrounded them and he was in awe of the light's that were literally glowing around him from his own costume and from Sana’s. They were shining, sparkling radiant. It made him feel different in the midst of the parade he had been scoffing at. Sana raised her hands and his hand went with hers. He followed her movement, and he could almost feel the attention they were getting. He had to do this.

He looked into the cameras and knew back home Youngjae and Mark would be watching so he smiled with his eyes. He wanted them to think he was brave enough, not frightened and lost. So he hid all the things he felt beneath that smile as he waved to the crowd and played their game. A game his family watched.

——  
After the parade ended Jinyoung found himself back with BamBam and Taehyung who had to get him out of the stiff costume. It was almost like a ritual being set free from the restricting clothing and cleaned inch by inch. They removed the makeup and the remnants of everything they had done to him. Jinyoung began to feel like himself again. He didn’t understand why he’d had to be covered in so much makeup, that alone had been a lot of effort to remove. After they had finished he had to soak in a bath to get all the oils out of his skin that they had put there for the sake of the costume. He didn’t mind spending more time with BamBam who sat with him talking over a few things about the Capitol life.

"If you don't mind my asking," Jinyoung said, "how old are you?" BamBam laughed at his question.

"Most people ask that," BamBam replied, "I'm 15." Jinyoung's jaw dropped, how had he become a lead stylist at 15? "I'm that good." BamBam said seeming to know what he was thinking.

“How did you become this?” Jinyoung asked him, he was curious about the kid. Now that he knew BamBam really was just a kid.

"I was recruited young," BamBam responded, "I worked with tributes when I was 12 like Taehyung does now, I was an assistant stylist the last two years with district 12 kids." He sighed as if looking sad at that thought. Jinyoung had a thought that it must have been how BamBam met Jaebeom, because they had both been together during that time. Jinyoung wondered if any of those kids had ever had a chance or if Jaebeom had ignored them entirely no matter what they had to offer. He really didn’t know what to think.

“I can almost hear you thinking about something?" BamBam questioned as if trying to get a read on him. He had noticed BamBam to be bubbly for the most part but there were times that he got serious. He probably had been forced to grow up young with the job he was placed into. Jinyoung moved in the water he was currently in, it was warm and soft which felt strange. Still he knew now was a good time to ask BamBam the question that was on his mind.

"How well do you know Im Jaebeom?" Jinyoung Asked.

"Well enough," BamBam smirked, it was a fond sort of smirk, "he's a huge ass, but there's a reason to all of it. He went through a lot when he was young trying to help tributes and after he won the games. That's what happens when you tell a kid to mentor kids, things don’t exactly go well.” Jinyoung hadn't thought about that, Jaebeom was 14 when he became a mentor around BamBam’s age which was odd to think about. “A lot of kids didn't listen to him. Most considered his win in the games a stroke of luck, and most people underestimate how smart he really is. He taught me quite a lot when I was younger and just thrown into all this. He’s a bit rough around the edges and he has trouble working with others but his heart is in the right place.” It sounded like BamBam was very fond of him.

"I feel like in a way he's always tried to take care of me," BamBam continued, "since we both have had to deal with aftermath of watching kids..." the young stylist stopped. There was a haunted look in his eyes as he was brought back to the past couple years. Jinyoung wondered how much it must have hurt to not be able to save anyone, that haunted look in BamBam’s eyes was also one he’d seen flash in Jaebeom’s.

"I'm sorry," Jinyoung found himself saying as he realized what BamBam had been through.

"Don't be," BamBam said quickly, "you didn't choose this. None of us did. That's the world we live in." He seemed resigned to it but Jinyoung began to see past it, there was a spark in BamBam's eyes Jinyoung had seen before. He had seen it in Mark's parents when he was young. They had died for it. It was the spark that many carried who sought a rebellion and it frightened Jinyoung. People who got that look in their eyes always died, Yang always found them before they became a problem.

"When I saw you Jinyoung-ah,” BamBam spoke up again, "you stood out as you shouted your brother's name. I hadn't ever seen anything like that in my life. I’d never seen someone bravely standing up for another person. We're taught not to here, my whole life I was taught to keep to myself and to never reach out to help another. People have resigned themselves to being selfish here. I have always hated it. It’s part of the game we are forced to play as well. You may see luxury and decadence here, but it’s a difficult place to exist in.”

Jinyoung had never thought of it that way. He had always thought of the Capitol as the ones taking with no thought. He had never thought that maybe the people here lived lives in pain, just in a different way than his own.

"I knew then...." BamBam continued to speak, "I knew when you shouted and volunteered that you were the one. I know you're the one who can win this thing Jinyoung. You have to. If you do I think it will bring something we haven't had in a long time..." Jinyoung knew what he meant but he didn't think… He knew he wasn’t right for it. He didn’t want to think like that, he just wanted Youngjae back.

"I'm not the one you're looking for," Jinyoung replied, "I just want to get home." BamBam looked straight in his eyes then and then stood up.

"Okay then, let's get you home then."  
——  
Jinyoung was brought to the penthouse that night separate from the others since he had stayed later talking to BamBam. He arrived there quite late and many of the lights were off. He assumed everyone had gone to sleep since the next day was the first day of training and it was a big day. The guards that had led him had practically pushed him off the elevator, and he sighed. He didn’t understand their treatment, they could just be a bit nicer. He walked through he halls quietly, seeking to get to his room without disturbing anyone else. As he walked past the living room a figure made him jump.

"Geez," Jinyoung said in shock as he saw Jaebeom move on one of the couches. He expected Jaebeom to be in the perpetual state of sleep he usually was in, he didn't expect the elder to be up waiting for him. Jaebeom’s eyes met his and raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. Jinyoung glared, he was getting tired of this.

"Back to the ignoring game," Jinyoung said as he was going to walk away but Jaebeom spoke up.

"I'm not ignoring you I'm looking at you," Jaebeom said in a tone that irritated Jinyoung further. He didn't trust the older to do anything other but fuel the argument between them, maybe that was a game that entertained him but Jinyoung was tired of it.

"Whatever," Jinyoung said to him, "I'm going to sleep."

"Hold on just a minute," Jaebeom called out and Jinyoung stopped. The elder stood up and walked towards him with a light step. Jinyoung stayed still wondering what he would say next. Jaebeom didn't stop walking till he was just a foot away which actually kinda freaked Jinyoung out, maybe Jaebeom didn’t respect personal space either. Too much time in the Capitol must have gone to his head. Jinyoung didn't move though, he wouldn’t give Jaebeom any indication he was uncomfortable. If this was a challenge he would meet it. Jaebeom's eyes moved over him as if sizing him up for something, Jinyoung’s fingers twitched and he wished he had a bow and an arrow in his hand. He didn't understand, the elder suddenly just turned and walked away but not before speaking.

“Here is some advice don't sleep on the bed, you don't want to get used to the comfort. The floors are more like what you'll get in the arena. Don’t eat to much each meal, don’t get used to having food,” He stated before saying a simple, "goodnight" and he walked into his room and shut the door. Jinyoung was confused again wondering what that exchange was about then he realized what had just taken place. Jaebeom had just given him advice, he had decided to help them. Something in him was unsure and still a little annoyed at how the man had gone back and forth on this but he felt a triumph in the small victory. He had a mentor now, another step towards home.

Another step to Youngjae.


	4. Training

His third day in the Capitol wasn't to begin peacefully.

He had been sleeping on the floor peacefully when his door was slammed open loudly. He sat up fast at the sound, half expecting it to be Hani. He was wrong. Taehyung had woken him up. The stylist had immediately begun complaining that he had messed up his hair by sleeping on the floor and that the pillow cases were the perfect satin. Jinyoung had no idea why he was there in his room, he had to work really hard to get away from Taehyung. The little demon wanted to comb his hair with gel and style it, but today was training day. He saw no need for any of that.

He walked to the living room and BamBam was there with Jungyeon with Jennie running around the tiled floors. He was so confused until someone told him they had all moved in for the rest of the games prep and through the games. Taehyung slipped behind him and tried to push him into a chair so he could brush his hair. This led Jinyoung to run away around the penthouse which ended with Hani yelling at both of them.

This wasn’t the morning he’d wanted. He had thought it was going to be much more peaceful. Hani sat Jinyoung and Taehyung down to lecture them about running in doors and the entire lecture Jinyoung kept having to pull Taehyung’s hands off of his hair. The little blonde kid was so upset over not being able to style his hair, and Jinyoung didn’t understand why. It didn’t make any sense or matter for the day ahead of him. The only person who could get Taehyung to leave Jinyoung alone was Jennie who gave him something else to do.

When they sat down at breakfast BamBam told Jinyoung his hair was a mess. He sighed as breakfast was served. That morning everyone was there for the food except for Jaebeom. He didn’t show up until after everyone else was almost finished with their food. He wondered if Jaebeom had changed his mind again about helping them because the time they had at breakfast was a good time to tell them what to expect within their day. When Jaebeom did arrive he made up for it by beginning to brief them on what to expect.

"Today marks you first day of training," Jaebeom stated as he scoped the food onto his plate, "today other tributes will be sizing you up, they will be looking for your weaknesses and your strengths. Keep your strengths under wraps and hide your weaknesses as well. Focus on survival skills since they are usually the biggest deficit in most tribute. Survival skills can make the difference weapons expertise cannot.”

That made sense, if they couldn’t survive the elements of whatever environment they were in could take them out before they even got in their first fight. Luckily for him he knew how to survive. He had been in that situation his whole life.

After breakfast they were taken down to the training room. He was in awe of how large it was, there were racks of weapons everywhere, separate training rooms along the walls and many stations. He couldn’t take it all in at the first glance. The tributes were all given instruction not to fight each other and that any fight would be broken up forcefully. He was in awe glancing around the entire time. His eyes spotted a bow on one of the racks next to a quiver. He wasn’t supposed to show his skills, but he really wished he could just go to the bow and practice with that. The make of the bow was different, it was bound to take some adjustment.

Next he focused on the people around him, he wasn’t surprised to see that every expression in the room was intense. Some tributes were glaring at each other, mostly the boys but a few of the girls joined in. He realized the mental battle would begin here so he did his best not to join in on it. It was difficult when some of the boys were looking at him like they wanted to kill him right where he stood. He wondered if it was that intense every year. He didn’t want to be noticed here, he just wanted to keep his head down and pick up a few new skills as he could.

When the tributes were sent out to train most of the boys immediately went for the weapons so he chose to walk towards one of the obstacle courses. He realized there were two different ones and each had a small screen next to them. He walked to it and there were instructions on how to use it. He could set the course for different terrain. He picked a setting and began running through the course.

It was an easy one for him to get the hang of and when he was done with it he upped the levels and ran again. He found the settings fun to play with as the course would get more difficult. He could add wind, a feeling of moving on sand or in water. He was actually having a lot of fun with it when he noticed a couple of the other boys watching him. He let himself glare back at them, and he hoped they wouldn’t become a problem. They wouldn’t look away and he had no idea what their problem was.

“That’s Sehun and Ten,” he heard a small voice say and he looked around with confusion. “Up here,” the voice spoke again and Jinyoung glanced up to see a kid nestled in the rafters of the training room like he fit perfectly with them. The kid was lanky, skinny and had a mop of dark brown hair on his head. He was smiling at Jinyoung, he looked so young. Jinyoung realized there was no way he could have been much older than Youngjae was, if he was older at all. He could be younger. Jinyoung’s heart sank seeing such a young kid amongst them but he couldn’t help but smile back. He walked back towards the keypad looking away.

“You got a name kid,” Jinyoung asked without looking up again. He was working on changing the obstacle course settings again to a much harder landscape and he thought it best not to reveal the kids position. Best not to reveal what that child’s skills were. There was a climbing apparatus in the room, he wasn’t on it. He had moved off of it and it was impressive as Jinyoung glanced to see what he would have had to do to get to where he was.

“Jeon Jungkook,” the kid said his name and Jinyoung glanced up to see he seemed to be searching for a way to climb higher. Jinyoung grinned, he couldn’t help himself.

“Where are you from,” Jinyoung asked as looked back down and he found the settings he was looking for. He glanced up to see Jungkook was gone and smirked. The kid seemed to have a clever knack for moving unseen. In the midst of what they were facing, he seemed like quite a smart child. Jinyoung turned back to the obstacle course and saw Sehun & Ten were still watching him. He wondered what their problem was.

He decided he didn’t want to be further evaluated by them so he left the obstacle course. Jinyoung decided to find something else to train while away from their prying eyes. He was unsure what he should train, the plant identification station was full and when he looked at the weapons rack he saw the girl from district 2 had the bow. He watched her for a moment but was satisfied to learn she wasn’t very good. After that he decided to take a chance to test the simulator with a different weapon other than the bow. It would be useful to pick up another skill in some small way should he find himself unable to get to a bow.

He set the simulator as best he could and then went in with the sword. He waited for the simulated opponents to appear began working on taking them out one by one. He found he was clumsy with the strange weapon as he tried to be swift and calculated. It was much more difficult than he’d expected. His score when the simulation finished was terrible. He grimaced as it appeared on the main screen for the whole training room to see. He just showed a weakness unintentionally.

“You’re holding it wrong,” he turned to see another tribute approaching him with a sword as well. The tribute was smiling and he had a saunter to his walk, a confidence.

“You can’t just swing it randomly,” the tribute said, “there’s an art to it.” Jinyoung didn’t want help, and he knew those around him would have other motives. He didn’t trust this tribute to be out for anyone but himself.

“Who are you?” He asked.

“Song Minho, district 6,” he said with a smile that seemed sincere, “my brother and I used to pretend rail tools were swords, we learned a lot that way. You have a brother too, we’re alike.”

That brought up an interesting question in his mind. Did all the tributes know about Youngjae? Were they strategizing because his volunteering meant he was popular? People thought he was brave, as if the only thing that could compel someone to sacrifice themselves for another. It wasn’t bravery, he wasn’t there because he was a hero. He was there because he loved his brother, it was that simple. If the people gave him attention then he was probably considered a threat, someone who could gain popularity and love. Minho could see him as an enemy just as easy as Sehun and Ten.

"Thanks but I don't want your help," Jinyoung decided. He turned to go do something different away from this man.

"We're not enemies Jinyoung," Minho replied, "this isn't the arena and we certainly don't have to play their games just yet. We can be friends, maybe work together. Training is not harmful,” He didn't understand what Minho was thinking. They were enemies, they were being sent into an arena to fight each other.

“Well…” Jinyoung didn’t know that he wanted to agree.

“I’m offering to help,” Minho said, “but you don’t have to.” Maybe it was useful to pick up whatever skills he could if Minho was really willing to teach him. There was no fears of Minho causing him problems since they were in training and there were rules they all needed to follow.

"Okay," Jinyoung says, "show me what you know.”

The two spend the afternoon going through each basic stroke of the sword and Jinyoung worked to move through each thing Minho showed him. It was tiring work, his arms were used to the bow but the movements of the sword were much different. Jinyoung found Minho to be a kind person and a very diligent teacher. He was attentive to every move Jinyoung made and showed him small ways he could correct his form. He gave much more than Jinyoung had expected for a boy who learned with rail tools.

By the end his score in the practice run had improved by quite a bit. They finished, and Jinyoung knew he was smiling ear to ear. He liked Minho but that made everything more difficult. He couldn’t make connections or get attached to other tributes. That wouldn’t end well, only one could come out. Jinyoung still couldn’t help that he wanted to care about them. They were all in the same situation as him, each of them trying their best with the hand that had been drawn for them. He kept an eye out for Jungkook around the training room throughout the day, the small boy was fascinating to him. He felt like he should look out for him. Jungkook reminded him of Youngjae, they were the same age. That was all he believed it was.

They are all gathered up later in the day and sent back to their residences within the building. The elevator carried them up to the penthouse slowly. Sana was quiet on their way back, and didn’t say much when Jinyoung asked how she was. When they got back to the penthouse they sat down for dinner with Hani and Jaebeom. It was silent at first then Hani started going on and on about the excitement that training brings. Jinyoung held back an eye-roll after she let out a particular high pitched squeal.

"There's nothing exciting about training to die," Jaebeom finally interrupted her speech with his comment. Jinyoung realized he shouldn’t be shocked that Jaebeom actually said it. Of course he had.

"Excuse me," Hani stresses, "it is a great honor to be chosen and you certainly know that the benefits of being a victor are quite incredible! The wealth and everything the Capitol has to offer became yours no matter how you chose to squander it.”

"Yeah, whatever," Jaebeom replied, a bitterness to his voice. He looked away from Hani and turned too the two tributes. Jinyoung was surprised that Jaebeom was actually fighting Hani and he noticed Sana was more shocked.

“How was training today?" Jaebeom questioned them. He then stood up and walked towards the cabinet in the kitchen to grab a bottle. He returned to the table and poured himself a glass, neither of the tributes answered immediately. Jinyoung didn’t like what he was seeing because knew what it was Jaebeom was doing. He was using alcohol to hide, like Jinyoung’s father had.

"Fine," Sana spoke first finally answering Jaebeom’s question. Jinyoung simply nodded in affirmation. She wasn't saying anything more so he wouldn’t. They weren’t allies, nor friends. Jaebeom eyed them as he took a drink from his glass.

"Just fine?" Jaebeom asked as his eyes moved between them as if searching for more to their response. Jinyoung shrugged, Sana seemed to suddenly be very interested in her nearly empty plate. She looked up to meet his eyes, each was unsure what to say. They had been sizing each other up and Jinyoung understood that. Jinyoung looked back to Jaebeom and met his gaze. The elder rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Look do you want my help or not?" Jaebeom asked he leaned back in his chair, "cause I am just fine with letting you both fend for yourselves out there, as you know. Now talk to me, what happened in training today?”

"We each tried out the different training exercises..." Jinyoung began but that was pretty much it. There wasn’t much more to all of it, not that he wanted to say in front of Sana. She probably had seen something of what he did, but there was no way she had a way to understand why he’d chosen the things he’d chosen. He realized then didn't like the way Jaebeom was looking at him, with an intensity as if he was trying to read past his words.

"I'm going to have a talk with each of you," Jaebeom said, he leaned back and took another drink before he finished his statement, "alone."

“Is that necessary?” Jinyoung asked, Jaebeom looked to the other.  
"Sana first," Jaebeom said. Jaebeom clearly had read the uneasiness between them, and Jinyoung understood he would debrief with each of them separately because of this. They didn't trust each other and didn't want to speak about training in front of each other. Jaebeom stood up and walked out towards the next room. Jinyoung glanced at Sana again who sighed and stood up to follow their mentor. Jinyoung leaned back in his chair and looked at Hani who was completely uninterested in him.

In the absence of the other two Taehyung sat down at the table next to Jinyoung. Jinyoung didn't see anything wrong with the young stylist sitting next to him. Taehyung started to help himself to the food at the table. Jinyoung ignored him and continued with his own meal but he realized that something was off. It did seem odd that Taehyung’s chair was slowly scooting closer to Jinyoung as he ate. Jinyoung decided to ignore it when at a sudden moment Taehyung pulled out a comb and started combing his hair.

Jinyoung didn’t understand why it was necessary. He was completely irritated by the younger's inability to keep his hand's off his hair. He didn’t want it to be styled, he was surprised how strong Taehyung was.

"Why Taehyung?" he whined as he pushed him off.

"Because you're hair is just so soft hyung," Taehyung said as if it was the most natural thing ever, "and you don't want it to be a mess all the time. We have to all look our bests to win, yes we do.” The way Jinyoung saw it, they didn’t need to look their best for training, where there were no cameras and nothing was broadcast. He also didn’t need to look his best in the penthouse, where there were no cameras and there was absolutely nothing being broadcast.

"I actually do not care if it’s a mess,” Jinyoung replied and he pushed at him, "back off." Taehyung was unfazed by his move to push him off and just moved back into a good position to continue his action. The comb against his head.

"I can't believe you went to training with this mess," Taehyung whined and Jinyoung signed and gave up on stopping him.

It turned out Taehyung was pushier than he was prepared for. When Jaebeom and Sana came back about a half an hour later Jinyoung was stuck on the couch with Taehyung practically holding him down while the little demon put makeup on him. Jinyoung hadn’t signed up for this, he hadn’t known any of this would happen when he volunteered. Jaebeom and Sana looked at him and Jinyoung wasn’t expecting it but Jaebeom laughed at the position he was in.

Jinyoung wouldn't have really been embarrassed by anything that happened except Taehyung jumped up and spoke. The words that he said just made Jinyoung cringe.

"Isn't Jinyoung hyung so pretty?" Taehyung asked and Sana started laughing at that. Considering the condescending nickname Jaebeom had given him, of course she laughed. It was a bad move on her part because Taehyung instantly sprung into action to make her his next victim.

"Okay, your turn pretty boy," Jaebeom said and he continued to laugh with the irony of Taehyung's statement and Jinyoung's clear ire over his nickname.

"It's not funny," Jinyoung hissed.

"Whatever," the older said as he beckoned for Jinyoung to follow him. Jinyoung begrudgingly followed him. He wasn’t sure where they were going but Jaebeom seemed to know the penthouse well & he found himself on the roof looking at the bright lights of the capitol below. A view he hadn’t ever seen like that before, he was surprised and in awe of it.

“Woah,” Jinyoung had never seen anything like it in his whole life. Every single building was lit up, and there were lights as far as his eyes could see into the night.

“That was my response when I found it. This place…” Jaebeom had a faraway look as he stared at it. His gaze was loaded in the way he looked at it, awe but also resentment. Jinyoung thought he was going to say something more but it never came, just silence for a few breaths, a few moments. Jinyoung imagined what the elder might have been thinking. Jaebeom had probably brought tributes up to the roof before, hoping to be able to impart some advice that would help them. In the end every single one of them had died.

It put a different perspective in his mind on a man that simply would not listen and connect. He didn’t want to connect with them, he didn’t want to help them. Jinyoung was quick to judge him for what he had said when they first met. He hadn’t quite considered Jaebeom’s side until that moment. Still Jaebeom was a brick wall, unrelenting in his sentiments and he seemed to only help them begrudgingly. There were a hundred things the elder could say to get to know them better, to actually try to see them as something more than the Capitol’s next murder victims. Maybe that was just too hard for him.

"Why are we out here if you're not going to say anything?” Jinyoung quipped.

"I was just admiring the view," the older responded with a slight laugh to his voice. He seemed a different person out here it was strange the switch in persona from his normal darker behavior. Inside all he wanted to do was drink and forget the tributes were there. Out there he seemed younger.

"Weren't you just out here?" Jinyoung asked him, presumably Jaebeom had brought Sana to the rook to talk.

"Was I?" Jaebeom countered and Jinyoung was taken aback. Had Jaebeom talked to Sana somewhere else? If so, what was the point of this? Was this view supposed to be a way to buffer Jinyoung's attitude towards him? Because they did tend to fight over the smallest details in behavior. Jinyoung had to admit most of it was him fighting and Jaebeom just responding.

"Yah," Jinyoung replied as he realized the elder had gone silent again, his eyes on the view, "aren't you going to talk about training?"

"You're supposed to talk about it," Jaebeom replied as if it was obvious, "since for some reason you and Sana won't talk about it in front of each other." Why was that strange to him? Jinyoung was sure he knew that things were difficult.

"You know why,” Jinyoung declared as he realized he was admitting he already viewed Sana as competition and an enemy. That's what she was though. Every single tribute was an enemy, only one could escape. All the rest would die and if Jinyoung ever wanted to see his brother again he had to be that one to get out. That meant he couldn’t afford to do anything but view the others as enemies.

"I realize you're already thinking like they want you to think," Jaebeom said, his words pointed and sharp like everything he said. Like the edges of his face, his eyes. Everything about Jaebeom was sharp, as if the edges to him were knifes meant to keep people out. The illusion of any softness within him was broken so easily with the way he spoke. "You're already seeing friends as enemies and enemies as friends. That is exactly what the game is.”

"They're all enemies," Jinyoung repeated his thought process, “at the end of the day only one can go home.”

"See that's what they want you to think," Jaebeom responded, an exasperation to his words, “they want you to think that they're all enemies, when one right alliance could completely save your life in the arena. Do you not understand that? Do you not realize that you’re also being hypocritical towards Sana? You say they're all your enemies but you spent your day learning to sword-fight with Minho…”

"Wait," Jinyoung interrupted him and ignored the fact that he was going to continue speaking, "did Sana tell you about that?" Why would she be talking about what he was doing unless she was an enemy? Jaebeom shook his head to the question, his gesture saying she hadn’t said anything.

"Sana didn't tell me," Jaebeom replied, "Minho's mentor did. They wanted to ask for an alliance for some reason. A reason you should be wary of since I presume you didn’t show off your skills as I advised you not to.” Jinyoung's eyes widened, Minho’s mentor had gone to Jaebeom for an alliance?

"But..." Jinyoung didn't know how to respond. This was all to strange to him. They all knew what was going to happen the moment the canon sounded in the arena. That's why it was hated, that's why it hurt so much to have his brothers name drawn. It was a death sentence for 23 children. It was meant to be every child for themselves, yet alliances were formed in the early days of the games. And as the game went on alliances were broken, people were betrayed. It was impossible to truly trust anyone, it was part of the twisted game that kept the public entertained.

"I wouldn't be quick to accept anything from anyone,” Jaebeom cautioned him, "nor should you continue forming friendships during training, it draws unwanted attention. If other tributes see alliances forming, they could start forming their own meant to take you out. The tributes in district 1 and 2 are not to be messed with and you are drawing too much attention to yourself."

"I'm not trying to," Jinyoung said forcefully. He didn’t understand why the others were watching him when he had done nothing noteworthy.

“Jinyoung,” it wasn’t often it seemed but when Jaebeom used his name he noticed. It was a small detail and he didn’t know why but something about the sound of it always struck him. As if Jaebeom was speaking sincerely. “I need to know, what do you want out of all this? You very brashly fought me because you wanted my help but you haven’t changed your attitude towards me…”

“You’ve distinctly said you weren’t going to help multiple times,” Jinyoung fumed now, Jaebeom seemed to be trying to blame him for the arguments between them now. It was Jaebeom’s fault things hadn’t been agreeable between them. “Every time I’ve thought you changed your mind you’ve made it clear you don’t care. So what is it now? Do you care or have you just resigned yourself to watching us die while you can clear your conscience by giving us some menial advice!”

“You don’t get it,” Jaebeom said softer now, the edges blurred, “this is bigger than you can imagine. Everything you think is happening around you is a front meant to pull a wool over your eyes. There is such a thing as being too cautious, to the point of not knowing were to place your trust. You don't trust me.”

"And why should I?" Jinyoung glared at him. Jaebeom didn’t care, that meant his help wasn’t much more than charity.

"Because I'm the only person here on your side Jinyoung. I am the only one here who understands the position you are in now,” Jaebeom said. "You want to know why I am helping you? Why I have suddenly changed my tune on what happens in the games? Because you actually have a chance, you’re the first tribute from district 12 I’ve ever seen who I really believe actually has a god dammed chance to walk out of that arena!” He spoke passionately and Jinyoung was struck by the way he spoke, how different it was from the past two days. How Im Jaebeom just confused him more and more.

“You walked out,” Jinyoung pointed out the mismatch in his statement. Jinyoung wouldn’t be the first if he won, he’d be the second.

“That’s not true,“ Jaebeom responded softer, "I lost everything in that arena.” With that last statement Jaebeom seemed overcome by some influx of emotion, he didn't stay there after saying such a weighted statement. He walked away in that moment almost like he felt he had said too much. He had actually said something that was real to him, something Jinyoung knew he believed about himself.

Jinyoung was left on the rooftop viewing the lights of a city that was ready to be entertained by the death of children. He didn't understand anything. Who had Jaebeom been before the arena? What happened to him that caused him to change? Why did he think Jinyoung was any different than he was? Wouldn’t the Arena change him too? He had so many questions, and that list of questions kept growing. He stared at the lights and he remembered his brother. He had to find a way to get back for Youngjae, and he wondered now if it was even possible for the one who remained to walk out as anything more than a shell.


	5. Training Continues

The next morning was much quieter than the morning before, Jinyoung found himself awake very early.He couldn’t go back to sleep, he was too antsy so he went back up rooftop to watch the sunrise over the city. It was beautiful, but not as beautiful as watching the sunrise over the forests he called his home. District 12 wasn’t an easy place to live, but he preferred the simplicity of nature to the gaudy things he’d see in the Capitol. Thinking of home led his thoughts to his family. He thought about how Youngjae and Mark were probably watching the same sunrise, and he wondered what they were doing. Were they together? Were they apart? Youngjae would be preparing to go to school unless he was sick again. Jinyoung really hoped he would continue to go to school if Jinyoung… if he should never get back to his family.

Everything about what was going to happen was unknown to him. Each day was different and each day he realized more and more how twisted the game was. The arena had not even begun, he wasn’t running for his life from other children who wanted him dead but still he was fighting for his survival with every move he made. He had started the journey in fear but as the days went on it wasn’t just fear he felt. He felt completely lost in the world around him.

Every single thing was like gravity, a force that was impossible to see yet continued to drag him down. It became more and more real with each new challenge and each passing moment. He had once had hope he would never be in this position, but he knew the world they lived in was not one for people who hoped. He’d lost his mother to the truth that no one would ever help them, there was no reason to hope. They were on their own. Mark had lost his parents too, because no one would do anything but hurt them.

All they had was their own will to survive, that was all he’d always had. The years alone had hardened him. When he was young he would run away to the woods to cry his eyes out, because his father wouldn't speak to him and Youngjae kept getting sick. There were so many times he just didn’t know what to do. His family was broken, they were starving. He knew that if he didn't have Mark things might have just gotten more and more hopeless. Jinyoung’s mom had taught him how to shoot a bow but Mark was the one who taught him how to track and how to hunt. They’d learned from each other and learned to survive.

He’d always had to survive, the Hunger Games was ahead of him and he would continue to fight to survive. When he got to the arena all he knew was that his first goal was to get his hands on the bow. He had to do it because if he didn't then he would have no chance. He wouldn’t make it home and he wouldn’t ever see the people he loved again. If that happened Youngjae would be alone without anything. Their father wasn’t someone who could be trusted to take care of his own children.

But he knew he'd volunteer a hundred times over if it was for Youngjae. His brother was everything to him, his reason for survival and existence. He had always fought protect the person he loved most. When he was hungry he would give what he had to his brother. When he was hurting he would hold his brother and hope that Youngjae would make it one more night. He hated seeing his brother sick, he hated the winter for how the cold closed his brothers lungs. He knew Youngjae was special, smarter than the other kids his age. He was deserving of chances that Panem would never give him. Jinyoung wanted so badly to give that chance to his brother, because Youngjae was the sun that rose for him.

Yet he would have to let the sun set in his mind. He had to hide the emotions that he held deep in his heart because he had to make it through. Everything around him was dangerous, and he couldn't afford to slip up and show weakness for one moment. So he locked away the memories and the pain of them as he re-entered the penthouse. He redirected his focus on the day that was ahead of him.

When he went to breakfast later Sana, Jaebeom, Hani and the others were all completely silent. Jinyoung found the silence to be uncomfortable but he would do nothing to break it. After the things Jaebeom had said the night before Jinyoung didn’t push at him. He was also re-evaluating Sana and the potential that she really was an ally in all this. Maybe Jaebeom was right, as much as he didn’t want to explore other avenues. He didn’t want any allies at all, it seemed so wrong to become allies for a short time with the intention that he needed to turn on them before they turned on him. He had a lot to think over.

Not that he got a chance to think much over breakfast. Taehyung had become clingy towards Jinyoung. He had simply let the kid comb his hair when he approached him instead of fighting him. Since that action Taehyung had been glued to his side as if he was his new best friend. Jinyoung didn’t understand the Capitol stylist at all. Jinyoung took a chance to talk to BamBam alone before training because he was curious about why Taehyung acted the way he did.

“So what is with Taehyung?” Jinyoung asked as he sat in BamBam’s room, he had to leave shortly.

“What do you mean?” BamBam asked. Jinyoung always noticed that BamBam was young based on his features. Sometimes the way he talked revealed it too but there were other times he had a regal air about him. Almost like he could be older than he was.

“Why is he so...” Jinyoung didn’t know how to express what he was thinking.

“Taehyung is Taehyung,” BamBam said as if understanding what Jinyoung meant. “He is important to all of us here, someone who has never let his past disappointments dictate his outlook on life. He’s a good kid and he’s lost a lot. In his loss it seems loving and attaching himself to others is how he handles his grief. It’s actually made me wonder if he’s right with how he acts. He just loves without prejudice.”

He replaced grief by loving those around him? Attaching to people around him. That seemed to fit with how he acted, now that Jinyoung thought about it he seemed to act the same way with everyone. He even displayed a fondness and affection for Jaebeom who was cold and standoffish to everyone but Taehyung and BamBam.

“This job,” BamBam spoke and interrupted Jinyoung’s musings, “I worry about Taehyung the most. He shut down last year for a month after the games. His heart is so open to others, to every tribute we see, losing them must hurt even more to him than to any of us.” Jinyoung winced at the thought, Taehyung loved and got attached to tributes and lost them repeatedly if what BamBam said was true.. The Capitol was lining up kids as lambs for slaughter, and in the process hurting more than just the children. It hurt their families, and Jinyoung was amazed to know it even hurt the people in the Capitol who dressed them up to die.

The President and his leaders were involving others in their crimes. Forcing good people to be a part of the process of the games, part of the image and part of the scheme. How many more people on the other side had cried for the children they’d gotten to know a few short days before they were snuffed out? He had wanted to resent every single person from the Capitol for their acceptance of the games but he realized now it wasn’t everyone. He realized now how much it hurt all of them, BamBam, Taehyung, Jennie, Jungyeon, Hani and Jaebeom.

“How do you keep going?” Jinyoung questioned, unsure of himself and where he fit in their new puzzle. Unsure if he would actually come back to them or be another child that they mourned.

“We just do,” BamBam replied, “because we have to.”

————

The training room had the exact same atmosphere as the day before. Tributes eyed each other as each balanced showing off their skills to not revealing too much. Some tributes just tried to be intimidating like the careers who posted high scores with multiple weapons on the score walls. Jinyoung didn’t care about their competition, it was best that they didn’t see his skills coming when the real war begins. He decided to spend the morning working on his survival skills, most of that was done through research and learning the feel of different plants. He had good survival skills from his own life experiences in district 12 but there were multiple climates he was unfamiliar with. So he worked hard to learn about things he hadn’t encountered before.

He also found a training area about making traps for animals and traps for people which he found kind of morbid. He had quite an easy time with that kind of work, he’d made snares before many times. He’d mostly made them for small animals, it was difficult to sell off meat from larger ones. He tripped one of his own snares with an object on the table. Then he heard a rustling above his head and glanced up to see Jungkook once again in the smallest corners of the roof piping. The kid had incredible climbing skills, and seemed to enjoy the more difficult task of climbing along the roof than the easier climbing apparatuses.

When they were all called for lunch he walked into the dining hall and saw Sana sitting on her own. He remembered Jaebeom’s words and decided to spend more time to get to know her. He went and sat down across from her, she looked up from her food and he simply nodded to her. They were quiet for a bit as they ate, Sana opened up their conversation.

“I saw you making snares,” Sana said. The way he heard those words, it sounded like she had been observing him. Was that because she felt he was an enemy or because Jaebeom had asked her to?

“It’s something I knew before but it’s good to practice,” Jinyoung replied, “the survival skills could quickly become the most important thing once we’re out there.” She nodded in agreement.

“I did them yesterday,” she spoke then paused. “Did you notice Sehun, Mingyu and Ten have been sticking close together? They’re watching you.” So was she if she knew that much.

“I noticed them yesterday,” he replied, “and have been sure to stay away since then.” He hadn’t seen them watching him the same way that day, though he had been focused on his work.

“I’ve been trying to observe everyone,” she stated, “I think we’ll need an alliance if we want to get through the first round since the careers are giving you attention.”

“We?” He questioned. She was already talking as if they were allies. They wouldn’t even speak to each other in the penthouse, or talk about their plans in front of each other. Why did she think they were allies?

“Of course we’re going to ally,” Sana replied, “we’ll make a great team. If we can get you a bow you’ll be unstoppable, and I can persuade people to ally with us as well as watch their actions to make sure we stay one step ahead. The whole about survival in the early days and we need each other to do that.” It sounded manipulative to him, he still wasn’t sure he trusted her.

“Survival early on means avoiding fights,” he responded. She might have other skills he didn’t know, he hadn’t been watching her as she had been watching him. There was also the fact Jaebeom seemed to view her favorably from day one, that meant she probably had some skill he didn’t know about. Jaebeom still just pushed at Jinyoung and irritated him while he seemed to have an easy kind relationship with Sana.

“So you want to be allies?” She questioned, and he was still unsure of the answer. He didn’t want to be pushed into alliances just because they were from the same district. What he wanted was to go it alone, if he allied with someone the chances were he would have to kill him. As wary as he was of Sana he didn’t think it was possible for him to actually kill her. If he did he wouldn’t feel good about going home. The whole game was messing with his mind.

“I honestly think we could be,” Jinyoung stated, it wasn’t a yes officially but it wasn’t immediately turning her down either.

She smiled at his words as if she had just gotten an affirmation. He sighed and turned and saw little Jungkook sitting with the girl from his district but he was ignored by her. He just ate his food quietly and stared at his plate. Jinyoung wondered about him, he couldn’t help it. When he saw him he thought of Youngjae and that sparked a need in his heart to protect him.

“He’s so small,” Sana noticed where his gaze was directed. “I don’t know how long he’ll make it.” Jinyoung looked back at her. He saw pity and sadness in her eyes but that didn’t mean she would have the same intention to help the smaller kid. He continued to wonder if he should get to far in with the girl from his own district it could be a mistake. He glanced around and caught Minho’s eyes from where he sat. He looked away, Jaebeom said his mentor asked for an alliance and Jinyoung wasn’t sure about him either…

After lunch he decided he didn’t want to take the opportunity to train with Sana and walked back over to the sword rack. He was getting better the day before and thought maybe it was good to keep pursuing this avenue of work. He was curious if Minho would come over to work with him again, and he hoped he did so he could try and get a read on the other tribute.

Sure enough he began one of the simulations for training swords and as soon as he ended he saw Minho walking over to join him. He nodded to the other as he worked on changing the settings of the program.

“Back at it?” Minho questioned, he had a smile on his face that was friendly. That could be faked, Jinyoung reminded himself.

“Just thought it could be useful,” Jinyoung responded. That was definitely a true statement. If he didn’t get a bow he would at least need to do something else.

“You’re looking much better with it today,” Minho said, he was looking at Jinyoung’s score, “but I could show you more. He turned towards the sword rack.”

“I actually have a question for you,” Jinyoung said. He then looked over to where Sehun and Mingyu were running an obstacle course while Ten stood nearby with his eyes on Jinyoung and Minho. One of them seemed to always be watching what he was doing. “Do you know what their deal is?” Minho looked over to them.

“Yeah,” Minho stated, “they’re careers.” He said it as if it was obvious.

“Careers?” Jinyoung asked, he had heard the term before but he didn’t quite understand it.

“Well Sehun and Mingyu are,” Minho corrected himself, “kids in 1 and 2 train their whole lives for the games at special camps. They’re taught to identify threats as well and it seems they’ve decided that you are one.” Jinyoung was confused by that, why would they target him? He hadn’t done anything noteworthy. He was just trying to be invisible and mind his own business.

“I’ve done nothing to deserve that attention,” Jinyoung replied. He did know he was a threat to them, but that was all attached to the fact that his weapon of choice was a bow. That he could actually use one well enough to win any fight. He hadn’t shown that, or given them any way to know that truth.

“Well they have come up with some reason to keep an eye on you,” Minho stated, he seemed to be trying to figure it out as well. Maybe asking him wasn’t the best idea. “They probably decided to start watching you after you got all the attention at the tributes parade. Also you volunteered, no matter what you’ve done in training you might already be a crowd favorite.” Jinyoung raised his eyebrows.

“Is that why you decided to befriend me?” He asked him. He needed to know what Minho’s motives in all this were.

“I’m just friendly,” Minho responded with a smile then his face fell to one more serious, “these games, this stuff it’s not something that’s easy for me to grasp.”

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung asked him.

“I mean I don’t want to be a part of killing people to put on a show,” Minho stated, “I don’t want these games to change me, make me what they want me to be.”

“We don’t have a choice,” Jinyoung heard himself saying. Did he really believe that? Did he really believe that he had to become a killer because survival was that important? He hadn’t really thought through if he had the ability to actually take a life. It seemed most kids who entered the games found they did, did he?

“Everything is a choice Jinyoung,” Minho replied, “every single thing we decide to do we chose.” He looked sad as he spoke those words. Jinyoung wondered if there was something else to what he said. Maybe he was being paranoid but he felt he had to read between the lines to get a read on the people around him. Maybe that was just him becoming what the Capitol wanted him to become.

They two of them once again worked with swords together. Minho’s company was easy for him, he knew in different circumstances they would be friends. Minho reminded him of Mark, he was kind and helpful. Jinyoung found his instruction in how best to use his sword to be attentive like when Mark had taught him how to track animals in the forests. They didn’t spend the whole afternoon together though, Jinyoung wanted to try other things and so did Minho.

So they split off from working together and Jinyoung was too antsy to leave the bow untouched. He observed the one they’d provided in the training room but he hadn’t touched it. It was different than the bow he had at home, it was all metal instead of wood. It was recurved instead of straight, it would be different to shoot it and Jinyoung realized that. So he felt it best to try it, just to get a slight feel for it before the arena.

He held the bow in his hands, the weight of it different and part of that was because of his reason for needing to practice It. He entered the target training room and glanced around to make sure the others weren’t watching too closely. He needed some practice but he couldn’t fully show his skills as Jaebeom had said. So he decided there would be no harm done if he didn’t hit the center of the target but acted like he was trying to. He aimed for points on the wall behind the target and the outer rings of the target. He practiced and made faces as if he was frustrated to sell the fact that he was pretending that he didn’t know what he was doing. Still he got the hang of the bow quickly and each time he hit his intended mark.

The scores he had posted in training were abysmal but he didn’t care. His skills weren’t for the other tributes knowledge or evaluation. To any other outsider it would appear his aim was bad, but to a certain little boy watching from the rafters it was something he couldn’t stop watching. To Jungkook’s eyes it looked like Jinyoung was using the bow as an extension of his arms, a part of himself. Jungkook crept closer to see what it was that Jinyoung was doing.

“I know you’re up there,” Jinyoung said he took a moment to glance up and Jungkook backed away at being spotted so easily. “It’s okay.” Jinyoung said, he didn’t want to scare the boy so he reached a hand up to him in a gesture of friendliness and said, “you can come down.” He wanted Jungkook to come down, he wanted to get to know the smaller child a bit better.

Jungkook didn’t know why but there was something about Jinyoung that made him feel like he could trust him. Jinyoung didn’t think the younger would actually come down but he did. He lowered himself down carefully and dropped lightly to the ground as if he was used to controlling small falls like that one. Jinyoung found himself wondering more and more about who the child was and what had led him to be reaped.

“You want to hold it?” Jinyoung asked. Jungkook’s eyes were on the bow in Jinyoung’s hands and kept glancing over to the targets. Jinyoung wondered what he was thinking.

“Yeah,” Jungkook replied with affirmation and with a nod. So Jinyoung handed the weapon to him. Jungkook clearly wasn’t sure how to hold it and simply looked at Jinyoung for guidance and help. Jinyoung understood what he wanted, he’d seen that look before in his younger brother.

“Arrange your fingers like this,” Jinyoung said, he moved the bow in the kids scrawny arms to the right position and moved his fingers around it. Jinyoung got more of a perspective of just how small this kid really was through showing him how to hold the bow. He seemed half starved but still very strong.

“Now,” Jinyoung said once he’d gotten the bow arranged perfectly, “be careful about how you’re holding your arms, you don’t want the drawstring to burn against your arm when you pull back and let it go.” He continued to help by showing Jungkook how to pull at the drawstring. Jungkook was attentively listening and he pulled back with Jinyoung which was why Jinyoung had wanted. So Jinyoung moved away from him.

“Now pull back,” Jinyoung wanted to see how he adapted to what he had shown him. Jungkook did pull on the drawstring but it was taunt and the bow was large which made it difficult for him to get a good grip on it. “Now let it go.” Jinyoung watched him pull a bit stronger, as best he could before he let it go. The bow snapped and his arms and body shook from the pressure of the string releasing back. The weapon really was too big for him.

“I’m not big enough,” Jungkook said, he recognized what his problem was. His voice was so small and so innocent.

“Want me to help you fire it?” Jinyoung asked. Jungkook nodded to him. So Jinyoung crouched down and held the bow with Jungkook, his hands over the younger boys. He notched an arrow and aimed moving the bow towards the target. This time he did focus on the center of the target, just this once.

“I am going to count to three,” Jinyoung said and Jungkook nodded. “One, two, three,” he counted down and they let go.

“Woah,” Jungkook said as he saw where it landed, in the dead center of the target. Jinyoung smiled at the little boys awe.

“Well look at that,” Jinyoung said with surprise, he wanted to uphold the whole idea that dead center wasn’t something he could hit normally. That this was his first time shooting.

“How?” Jungkook asked him, his face still in awe. The kid had such round wide eyes that expressed so much emotion.

“Luck I guess,” Jinyoung responded, he ruffled Jungkook’s fluffy hair, “I guess you’re very lucky.” The younger smiled up at him and Jinyoung knew more and more this was the only ally he wanted because though he wanted to go home he wanted this kid to go home too. It broke his heart as he realized even more how cruel these games really were. He wanted to save Jungkook, he had come to save Youngjae. If he really did save the younger child then he would never see his brother again. It was Jungkook’s face that reminded Jinyoung that this could have been Youngjae as well. If Jinyoung hadn’t volunteered it would have been Youngjae standing here with no hope to get out. he knew if he had a chance he would give it up for Jungkook. The kid didn’t deserve any of this, none of them did but for some reason he couldn’t see anyone else the same way.

A seed of hatred existed in his heart long before due to what had happened in his life. He had a lot of hatred for the Capitol that kept growing the more he stayed there. He had a lot of hatred for the president who was the reason the games were running and he had hatred for anyone who watched to be entertained. Hatred was being watered with every second of his life but looking at the eyes of the youngest tribute he felt it grow ten times over.

————  
The training session ended later in the day and Jinyoung & Sana headed back to the penthouse in silence once again. She seemed deep in thought on their way up and Jinyoung’s mind was busy as well going over the fact that there was one more training day left. The last days were coming, training, evaluation, banquet and then a final interview. The games would begin in four days and he didn’t feel ready.

Jinyoung was even so distracted when he arrived back that he let Taehyung cling to him as much as he wanted. The younger was super talkative but Jinyoung wasn’t paying attention. They sat down for dinner, the prep teams and Hani were there but for the first time since they got back Jinyoung realized he hadn’t seen Jaebeom at all since breakfast that morning.

“Where’s Jaebeom?” Sana asked Hani, she had noticed as well. Hani huffed and sighed.

“How should I know?” She questioned, “I don’t keep track of that ingrate.”

“He’s in his room,” BamBam spoke up with the answer, “it’s best to give him his space.” The way BamBam said it was like the case was closed. BamBam’s eyes also met Taehyung’s and Jinyoung wondered what was going on. Was Jaebeom shutting them out again? Had he decided not to help them anymore?

“He’s supposed to be here,” Jinyoung said, he was frustrated, “That’s his job.” He was supposed to be their mentor.

“We can’t force him to do anything,” Sana spoke. There was a hint of frustration & sadness was evident in her voice. She was clearly upset by the term of events as well.

“He’ll come around soon,” BamBam said to reassure them, but Jinyoung wasn’t so sure.

“Just give him time,” Jungyeon affirmed what the others were saying. He knew the prep team knew Jaebeom from other years and their words were not reflected in their concerned facial expressions. Jinyoung had no intention of listening, he would just wait for things to fall in line. After dinner concluded Jinyoung decided to approach their mentor to resolve whatever reason he had for ignoring them again. He went to Jaebeom’s rook and knocked heavily on Jaebeom’s door. He didn’t care that he was told to leave Jaebeom alone, he knocked loudly and got no answer.

“Hey Asshole,” he shouted through the door, “open the door.” No response came from the other side. Jinyoung began to wonder if maybe he was just a heavy sleeper. He knocked again and waited, it was frustrating so he tried the door handle to find it was actually unlocked. He was a bit surprised that it wasn’t locked but he accepted it and opened it. He moved the door slowly and what he saw beyond was a simple bed like in his own room with a door to a closet. But inside the bed was made and he didn’t see Jaebeom at all.

He also noticed what else was off. There were a few empty bottles of alcohol strewn throughout the room that made it’s otherwise neat appearance messy. He could also smell the stench of the strong drink in the air, making it clear this was as recent as a couple hours ago. Yet where was he? He thought through it to try and figure it out and Sana appeared in the doorway clearly curious and confused.

“He’s not here,” Jinyoung said to her.

“Where would he go?” She asked him and as he thought of it the realization dawned on him. If Jaebeom was drunk…

“The roof,” Jinyoung said, they needed to get to him, “come on!” He rushed out of the room towards that staircase that would lead him to the roof and she followed him. If he was out there and drunk, it would be dangerous. What if he fell off the side or did something stupid?

“Jaebeom!” He shouted as he reached the door and made it outside the colder air hit him instantly. He spotted Jaebeom quickly, and as Jinyoung feared he was sitting off the edge of the roof. There were several more empty bottles littered along his path to the place he currently occupied.

“Jinyoung,” Sana saw how dangerous the situation could be as well, “we need to get him inside.” Jinyoung agreed but he needed to make sure Jaebeom didn’t make any accidental sudden moves.

“Jaebeom,” Jinyoung said his name again softer, the older boy seemed like he didn’t hear him. His eyes were glazed over as he stared out over the city. “You need to come inside.” He spoke softly, trying not to make any sudden moves or sounds. He still got no response from Jaebeom. Jinyoung was about to drag him off the edge of the roof inside when he spoke.

“Jimin was 14,” his words were slurred, “she was too little...” His eyes were on the city below, the busy movement of a city that he seemed mesmerized by. Yet at the same time there was something angry about his gaze.

“Come inside and we’ll talk about it,” Jinyoung said he got closer as he walked. Jaebeom looked down as the bottle he was holding slipped out of his hand towards the depths if the city below. Jinyoung winced but kept walking closer.

“I wanna stay,” Jaebeom’s words sounded empty, like they weren’t from his own mouth.

“Okay then you can stay, we can stay,” Jinyoung spoke, he knew how to keep his voice calm because he’d dealt with his father like this in the past, “just sit over here.” He gestured to a safer part of the roof.

“No,” Jaebeom said, he leaned forward a bit to adjust his seating. Jinyoung was close enough though so he grabbed his arm and held him where he was.

“Sana get BamBam,” Jinyoung instructed her. He didn’t look back but he heard her footsteps rush inside. He kept a firm grip on Jaebeom’s arm and settled beside him, his legs hanging towards the other side of the roof to ground them both. If it got any worse he would pull him inside himself but still he realized this might be the time to learn a bit more about his mentor. Unfair to say the least but still.

“Jimin wanted to play outside,” Jaebeom slurred, “she didn’t want to play their game. She liked outside. Not arena…”

“Jaebeom,” Jinyoung said his name again softly, he didn’t know who Jimin was. Maybe she had been in the same games as him, someone he’d loved or tried to protect. He had won when he was 13, he was small then too.

“It was my fault...” Jaebeom’s words kept coming in slurred broken sentences that said everything and nothing at all, “I shouldn’t have...” Jinyoung was still holding onto Jaebeom’s arm when Jaebeom leaned his head on him. Jinyoung was still processing, he let Jaebeom lean on him. It was better than him leaning forward and toppling them both off the edge.

“I begged him not to…” Jaebeom whispered, “I couldn’t stop him.”

“Who was she,” Jinyoung asked him, he maybe should be focused on getting Jaebeom off the roof but he wanted to know more. Who was this girl?

“My sister...” he slurred, “I won, I won... they didn’t stop. They put her in the games… It was because of me...”

And then Jinyoung made the connection, he didn’t like to think of the reaping but he remembered Lim Jimin’s name being drawn. He didn’t connect her to Jaebeom ever but now it all made sense. Jaebeom wasn’t there for the reaping, so there hadn’t been any reaction he could see. Mentors didn’t go to the reaping. Jinyoung could only imagine what his reaction had been, how that had to feel. And he wondered how he would feel if he won and a few years later he had to face Youngjae entering that train.

“It was...” Jaebeom talked more, “to keep me in line...” Tears formed in the elders eyes. “He killed her… I killed her...” Jaebeom declared and in the next moment he was crying. Jinyoung hadn’t expected all this to happen when he’d come up here. He now had a sobbing mentor crying on his shoulder and he was out of his own depth.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Jinyoung sighed. None of this was any of their fault. What happened to his sister definitely wasn’t Jaebeom’s fault. Whatever it was, it was Yang’s fault. “It was them, they did this to both of you.” Jinyoung reached forward and put an arm the elder. He remembered as a child his arms always around him when he was crying or struggling. He always put his arms around Youngjae to help him in the same way. Physical touch like that meant everything to Jinyoung.

“I failed her...” the elder sobbed into Jinyoung’s shirt, “I fail all of them...”

“No,” Jinyoung replied, “we all failed. Every single person in this country failed, because we let this go on. Multiple generations have let this happen without fighting it. It’s not your fault, it never was.” He comforted his mentor not even knowing if Jaebeom would remember this in the morning.

“Come with me,” Jinyoung said he had to get him off the roof, “let’s get you to sleep, then we’ll talk more tomorrow.” He patted the older’s hair.

“I don’t want to...” Jaebeom slurred out. It was then that Jinyoung saw Sana return to the roof and BamBam and Taehyung were behind her. Jinyoung signaled them to stay back a moment, he was sure he could persuade the elder. He was about to succeed and he knew it

“Just come with me,” Jinyoung asked again, “I promise it will all turn out okay. Please, it’s cold out here.” He waited as Jaebeom said nothing for a few moments, then the elder nodded to say ye to Jinyoung’s proposition. He helped Jaebeom off the edge till he was standing. Jaebeom was leaning on him heavily as he began to walk towards the door. BamBam came on the other side to help Jinyoung manage him since he was larger than Jinyoung. He had really broad shoulders and his body was built much stronger than Jinyoung’s was. Those around them didn’t say anything as they helped him inside. Taehyung ran ahead towards his room.

“We’ll take it from here.” BamBam told him once they reached Jaebeom’s room. Jinyoung nodded as he let Taehyung and BamBam take Jaebeom. Jinyoung knew that they knew him better and that they had probably dealt with this before many times. He had seen their looks at dinner, they had known he was drinking again. Jinyoung stood back with Sana who looked bewildered by the whole situation. Jennie and Jungyeon were in the hall with her as well.

“It’ll all be okay,” Jennie reassured her, “this has happens at least once every year.” At least once meant it could happen again, Jinyoung sighed and turned back to his own room. He wondered now if he game would really end for him with a victory. His heart sunk as he realized the game had only begun and should be be fortunate enough to survive the games he would be walking into a new game. One that he realized defined his cold mentor. He was starting to sympathize and understand there was a lot more to Im Jaebeom than he had thought.


	6. A Warmth

He got up early again the third day of training because his sleep was restless. He had woken up multiple times in the night and most times he had trouble getting back to sleep. He didn’t know what to do with himself. In the early mornings back home he would get up and wander the forest, but early mornings in the penthouse there was nothing he could do.

He laid on the floor trying to decide what to do and thought over the events of the night before. He got up and grabbed a sweater from the dresser in the room and left his room. He turned down the hallway toward his Jaebeom’s room just in time to see BamBam coming out of it. The young stylist looked downcast and exhausted, Jinyoung wondered if he had stayed up all night to help care for Jaebeom. Jinyoung thought maybe he should have done more but he didn’t know what to do. He had dealt with his father’s issues but Jaebeom was someone he didn’t even know much about.

"Is he okay?" Jinyoung asked and BamBam shook his head, a sign that no he wasn’t.

"He hasn't been okay in a long time," the younger said, "but this should be the last time this happens at least while we’re all here. Taehyung and Jennie dumped the rest of the alcohol in the place.” Jinyoung definitely hadn’t expected to be told that, but he guessed they were dealing with a more difficult case. He knew nothing about Jaebeom except what he had heard in the district, one of the things he had heard was that Jaebeom was a drunk. That he was an alcoholic but it was always strange to Jinyoung to think of someone so young being that. Jaebeom was only two years older than himself, and Jinyoung had spent their whole relationship attacking him. All along his story was much darker than Jinyoung had been able to understand. Jinyoung had never asked, he had just judged.

"If you don't mind me asking, do you know what set him off?" Jinyoung questioned, maybe Jaebeom was trying to work on his issues. He hadn’t consumed much since they’d been there and that was the first time he was drunk.

"It probably wasn't anything specific," BamBam replied, "these games, all of this has always been hard on him. He has been trying not to touch alcohol the past couple years but once he does it generally goes this way.” Jinyoung should have thought more about what he might have been feeling, that his rejection of the tributes wasn’t about them. It was about the process, what he had gone through and seen. He’d won, but no one else from the district had. That meant every year no matter what he did he lost them.

"I'm going to check on him," Jinyoung said. He realized that was what he wanted to to., "is that okay?" BamBam smirked at him, Jinyoung was confused by it but chose to ignore it.

"Go ahead," BamBam replied, "you were the one that talked him down. You can see him however much you want.”

"I didn't do anything," Jinyoung replied. He really didn’t feel he had, if anything he’d taken advantage of the situation by asking questions and prying into Jaebeom’s story.

"Nothing at all," BamBam said sarcastically in response. With that he walked off, leaving Jinyoung in the hallway. Jinyoung sighed and pressed forward to check on his mentor. After the things he said the night before, Jinyoung's opinion of him had definitely shifted drastically. That was to be expected when finding out about someone’s past. Sure he would probably still be someone Jinyoung could consider an ass, but he could understand why now.

He entered the room and saw that Jaebeom was still sleeping. He was unsure what to do, what he was even doing there at all. Still he kept walking forward and sat down on the bed next to Jaebeom. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully and Jinyoung felt like there was no reason for him to be there after checking on him. For some reason he didn't want to. He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for. He heard someone entering and turned to see Taehyung was the one walking in. And unlike the usual cheerful expression the younger always had on his face Taehyung looked tired and burdened. Jinyoung wasn't uses to seeing him look like that.

"How is he?" Taehyung asked.

"Fine," Jinyoung stated. That was all he could see from where he was, that Jaebeom was sleeping peacefully which meant he was fine.

"Hyung always does this," Taehyung said and he walked over and sat next to Jinyoung.

"What?" Jinyoung asked.

"He always drinks too much and does stupid things,” Taehyung replied, "I was worried that he wasn't drinking at all. I expect this." He looked sad. It was't the Taehyung he thought he knew. Maybe all that was Taehyung’s way of coping with the fact that everything they faced was a mess.

"How long have you known him?" Jinyoung asked. Taehyung looked away.

"When I was 12 I was taken from my home to become a stylist because my parents couldn't pay their taxes," Taehyung stated, “I met him after that four years ago here. The year after he lost his sister." He paused and seemed like he had more to say so Jinyoung waited. "Everyone on this team.. we have a lost a lot. That's why we work well together, because we understand each other." He explained it then he he leaned his head on Jinyoung's shoulder. Jinyoung realized it didn’t bother him at all. He had grown used to Taehyung’s way of clinging so quickly. It was probably because he didn’t have much an aversion to touch, he grew up with it. With his mother holding him close and when she was gone he held Youngjae close. He realized Taehyung’s way of clinging was familiar, something he didn’t mind one bit. He’d only tried to convince himself he minded it.

“I tried to find my family last year hyung,” Taehyung whispered, almost as if he was ashamed to speak of it. “I tried so hard, but they’re gone. There’s no trace of them anywhere.” That stung Jinyoung as he realized even people here in the Capitol were losing everything. How he’d wanted to judge the people around him, but Taehyung’s story made him suddenly realize how wrong he really was. He patted Taehyung’s head, he felt for him and wanted to provide some comfort.

A few minutes later Jinyoung realized that Jaebeom was stirring, he was waking up. Jinyoung turned to look at him and saw him gripping his head. Both his hands moved to the sides of his head, as if he had a bad headache which he probably did. He opened his eyes and shut them to the light. He them groaned.

“Can you both take your chatter somewhere else,” he grunted out, he turned and buried his head between pillows to hide from the light. Jinyoung felt a bit out of place there but Taehyung knew what to do.

“Hyung,” Taehyung called for him, he stood and grabbed something off the nightstand, “Hani ordered you this.” He held out to Jaebeom a small bag with a tablet in it and a glass of water. Probably some sort of hangover cure, Jinyoung didn’t really know what a hangover felt like but he’d see his dad after a night of drinking too much. He knew it was something he never wanted to feel. Jaebeom grunted and turned away from them more, he didn’t want them there.

Jinyoung sighed and got up to leave. He had done what he set out to do, he had checked on his mentor and knew he’d be just fine. So he left the room and went out to see Jennie, Sana and Jungyeon were all sitting on the couch looking tired. Everyone seemed down after what had happened. But the day wouldn’t be stopped for them, it went on and they were taken to training by Hani who Jinyoung realized didn’t know how to give them advice.

Jinyoung faced the now familiar room and didn’t feel like doing anything. He didn’t feel ready for the games but he didn’t feel like anything in front of him would make him more ready than he was. But he wouldn’t just waste what time he had. He walked to the plant identification station and began to go through the different games and tutorials. He already knew all about plants native to district 12, his parents had taught him a lot before his mother had died and after Mark had taught him. But he realized when it came to plants around Panem he needed a bit more experience. There were ways to tell if plants were poisonous even without knowing what a plant was. He focused on sharpening his skills when it came to being able to identify subtle differences in leaves and coloration. He didn’t feel like he would be bad off when it came to the area of working with plants but he wanted to be prepared regardless.

He spent the whole morning working with the plants because he felt drained and didn’t want to do anything more than that. When lunch came he sat across from Sana again, she seemed tired and the expression on her face was one of stress. He felt it as well and he guessed that was why he was feeling more drained than he had the other days.

"So our mentor is actually an alcoholic," Sana was the one who started their lunch conversation. Jinyoung would have been happy with no conversation at all, "who knew?" She looked frustrated. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to talk about Jaebeom when they probably had bigger concerns.

"I don't think we could have seen it coming," Jinyoung said, still falling into the pattern of speaking anyways, "no one warned us."

"Actually Jungyeon kinda did warn me," she responded sadly, "not specifically, but she told me that he decided to ignore the tributes entirely last year. That he mostly stayed in his room the entire 3 weeks of the preparation and the games and drank whatever alcohol they had in the penthouse. He didn't do that with us so I didn't think it was a problem. Jungyeon told me he’d been going out to try and talk to vendors and other mentors about alliances, so it seemed fine.”

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jinyoung asked, he didn’t realize that Sana was getting more information than he was. First about the issues the year before and then about what Jaebeom was doing while they were in training. He didn’t like that she was more in the know than he was.

"We haven't actually talked much Jinyoung," she replied, "you seem content to spend your time here with Minho and you ignore me when we're at home. I haven't had much of a chance to tell you anything." He was surprised at her way of characterizing it, he didn't know Sana felt that way. He thought she was ignoring him but he wondered if he really was the one doing the ignoring.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. She was right, and he was the one who’d been acting petty.

"It's okay, I get it,” Sana relented and she decided to change the topic again, "now what are we going to do about Jaebeom?” Jinyoung shrugged, he didn’t really want to do anything about Jaebeom. It wasn’t there job to help their mentor, it was his job to help them. Jinyoung had a hard time not resenting him for the way he’d behaved but he was starting to see that Jaebeom was just a mess. He probably wouldn’t be much help to them and there was nothing they could really do about that.

"I don't know that we can depend on him to help us,” he stated, "we already tried that and look what happened, he had a breakdown.” Sana shook her head.

"That was out of our control," she stated. "We can do more, help him because he’s actually been doing as much as he can. Jungyeon said that it is more than he’s ever done for anyone. He’s been arranging meetings with other victors for help, he’s doing his best. We could stand to do more to help too.”

"Like what?" He asked, he didn’t understand what she thought they could do. It was nice to hear Jaebeom had been trying but Jinyoung didn’t see where it was his job to help Jaebeom in return for him doing what he was supposed to do.

"You can talk to him," she spoke, "you can get him to see that he’s not going to lose out this time, he’ll listen to you.” That was a confusing statement and Jinyoung didn’t even know where to begin.

"Why do you think I can do anything?" he questioned. He didn’t understand why she wanted him to help here, nor why she saw a problem? He really didn’t understand what she was trying to say.

"Because he actually talked to you on the roof. He told you what was going on, he opened up to you,“ she responded, as if his drunken words had meant anything. Jinyoung didn’t think she understood what the situation was at that moment. He was surprised she thought that meant anything at all. It meant nothing.

"He was drunk, Sana," Jinyoung replied, “of course he talked to me, he would of talked to anyone in that situation." Sana shook her head stubbornly.

"It's not just that though," she replied, “you can reach him because he liked you from the moment you shouted him down day one.”

"What?" Jinyoung questioned with a laugh. He didn’t know what she had deluded herself into thinking but Jaebeom and Jinyoung did not get along at all. From the first moments they met they both didn’t like each other.

"He laughed when you stormed out,” Sana said, bringing back what happened the first day, “he spoke of you fondly and said that no one had ever talked to him like that before. He tried to get you to come for dinner that day after he told us that he believed you could do it, that you could win the games. He's always trying to get you to see things that are going on around you because he believes in you.”

"Wait..." He was still confused, none of that made sense to him.

"You don't see it?" Sana questioned, clearly more frustrated, "he's helping me because he pities me, but he see's you as the victor he’s always wanted. More than that, he see's you as a savior. Someone who can actually inspire all of Panem to rise above their circumstances. He sees you as more. All of them do!"

"What is that supposed to me?" he asked, he didn’t understand. What did she mean, he wasn’t even sure he could win and now she was spouting nonsense about him inspiring all of Panem? He wasn’t a savior of anything.

"Just think Jinyoung," she begged him, “you’re different to all of them.”

"I don't see it," Jinyoung replied, he didn’t like where this was going, "no one is treating me any different than they’re treating you. We’re just kids to them who may or may not survive the games.” She shook her head.

"That's not true," Sana responded, there was something in her voice that made Jinyoung realize this wasn’t a joke to her. She really believed what she was telling him. "Jungyeon said when BamBam saw you he said that you could end the Hunger Games once and for all. He created the diamond outfit because of you, everything he has put into us has been about you."

"What do you mean end the Hunger Games?” he questioned, "I just want to get back to Youngjae, to protect my brother. I don’t want anything else our of this.” This was dangerous to discuss where they were, he glanced around to make sure no one had wandered close enough to listen or that no one was paying them mind. Such talk was dangerous and could get them killed before the games even started. He wanted a fighting chance to get home, not to blow it before they’d even begun. He was frightened by the way she was speaking.

"You can't always decide what you will become or what you could be,” Sana replied, "just be careful Jinyoung, there's a reason everyone's targeting you. Everyone else see’s it too, you’re the favorite to win.”

With that she stopped talking, he stopped. He was nervous by her words, he didn’t know what to make of it and it frightened him.

The afternoon sessions came quickly and Jinyoung was left distracted by her words. Again he faced the training room and didn’t want to do anything. He wanted to rest and forget about what odds he was facing to begin with. He didn’t need anyone making that worse by trying to pin something on him he wasn’t. He wasn’t even sure he had it in him to come close to winning. He decided to head over to the obstacle course since he hadn't gotten on it since the first day and it was a good way to train physically. It was the last day, he knew what was on the line and that the next few days they would not be training, they would be shown off as the Capitol’s wears for the people to gush about. He ignored the looks of the other tributes for once and focused on practicing with different terrains and courses.

After the obstacle course he decided to run through the survival skills once again. He wanted to make sure he was familiar with the different environments he might face in the arena in a few days. His eyes wandered in search of the youngest tribute and saw that Jungkook was testing on plants as he had when their training had begun in the morning. Jinyoung debated checking in on the younger but before he knew it time was up and they were heading back up to the penthouse.

His mind was clouded with thoughts of what Sana said to him. How could the others view him as a potential victor without even fully knowing his skills? Jaebeom certainly hadn't paid attention to much, BamBam didn't see him train. All they had to go off of was that Sana had said he was good with bow. But more than that he wondered why Sana had said that they saw him as a savior. She said they thought he could end the games, whatever that meant. Whatever she thought they saw he knew better. He was nothing, he was not anything like what she said. He was simply a boy who had fought to survive his whole life, and who fought for his family to survive. That's the reason he was here for his brother and to keep surviving. He may not survive the days to come.

There was no other reason for him to be there and he wouldn’t be what she said. He wouldn't misconstrue it, or try and understand why she thought the way she did. Still he did believe that maybe allying with her was the right thing to do. Still like Jaebeom said, Minho also wanted to ally with him, maybe he had to chose both. Maybe for different reasons. Amidst all of it he still found himself wanting Jungkook as his ally. But in the end he would have to turn on whoever he allied with in order to win, or face the alternative of them turning on him first. That's why he hated the idea of having allies. Because none of them would end the game as allies. If they all made it to the end or the games they would fight each other.

Dinner that night was not a repeat of the night before, Jaebeom was actually there physically but he didn't look like he was there mentally. Several people at the dinner table tried talking to him and he responded back in small talk.

"I will meet with both of you separately again tonight." Jaebeom finally spoke to Jinyoung and Sana when dinner was almost over. They both nodded to him and glanced at each other. Sana’s expression was unreadable. Again Sana was the first one Jaebeom had chosen to meet with and Jinyoung waited in the main sitting area with Taehyung and BamBam. Taehyung was once again snuggled up to him with a comb in hand fixing his hair and whining about how Jinyoung always missed it up. He just let Taehyung do what he wanted. He didn’t see the point in fighting him if that was what made him happy. It was a small thing.It took about an hour for Jaebeom and Sana to return to the sitting room.   
Jaebeom motioned for Jinyoung to follow him and Jinyoung followed him to the roof again to talk to him. It was strange being there again with him after Jaebeom had drunkenly cried against his shoulder. It was different, the cold way Jinyoung had treated him before seemed childish when he was just someone who had been in the same situation Jinyoung had been in before. They settled standing looking out into the city. Jinyoung didn’t know what to say."I have to apologize to you for last night," Jaebeom said softly, "I didn't mean for things to go that far..." He paused, "I've been trying very hard to break that habit. Not to do that anymore.“ Jinyoung didn’t know how to respond except that he knew what it was like to deal with it. He didn’t see it as a big deal.

"It's okay," Jinyoung said in response, “It wasn’t a problem, I’d dealt with it before with my father." He realized admitting that was opening up to Jaebeom in return. He could tell by Jaebeom’s expression that he didn’t miss that small detail.

“Well BamBam really told me off this morning after you and Sana left for training,” Jaebeom laughed slightly, “I do also need to say I finally have an answer for you, I will help you." Jinyoung didn’t know why that answer seemed relieving. Jaebeom had been helping almost the whole time even if he didn’t admit it. He’d given advice and tried to help Jinyoung when Jinyoung resisted it. Still, hearing Jaebeom say that he wanted to help them made Jinyoung feel better about his chances, he hadn’t expected that.

"Thanks," Jinyoung replied in the best way he knew how to. The conversation so far had been kind, he didn’t want to accidentally say something snarky. Jaebeom really didn’t deserve it no matter what insecurities Jinyoung had tried to pin on him. He was trying, he really was trying his best and Jinyoung couldn’t fault him for that. His mind turned back to what he had learned the night before, and how that undoubtedly was the reason that Jaebeom was so complicated.

"What happened to your sister," Jinyoung wasn't sure if he should talk about it or ask about it but it was out in the open now and he had a question that weighed on him. Jaebeom’s expression wasn’t one that told him to stop talking about it so he pressed on to his question. “Is it normal for victors families to be sent to the games? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Jinyoung added the last part because he really didn’t want to push Jaebeom after what had happened. He didn’t want him to relive whatever things were painful to him from the past.

"It is normal,” Jaebeom said, his eyes looked sad and his expression was fallen. He didn’t add to that statement.

"Why?" Jinyoung questioned, “why would they do that?” His heart started pounding when he thought of Youngjae. If he won would Youngjae just be called back to the games because of it? Was the only way to really save him to die and become nothing?

“There are a lot of reasons. The general public likes to root for former victors siblings, money is involved. But the main reason is the game doesn't end when you win," Jaebeom replied with the explanation Jinyoung expected, "it will continue for the rest of your life and if you don't play it the way they want you to they will take everything from you. Piece by piece they’ll rip apart the things you love till you either become what they want you to be or until you break.”

“Is that what you did?” Jinyoung asked, “just break?” Jaebeom didn’t respond, he was silence but in all the things Jinyoung knew he knew that silence was akin to affirmation. Jinyoung took a deep breath as he wondered just what that game was like after the games. The way Jaebeom stood it seemed he didn't want to talk more about it so he decided it was best to not ask anymore. If he did win there would be plenty of time to talk about it. He would be closer to Jaebeom. He hadn’t thought about it before but if he did win he would go to the victors village and would live next to the older victor.

They were silent for a few moments, Jaebeom lost in his own thoughts. Jinyoung looked out and thought of what was coming. Training had ended and the days were moving too quickly. Soon he would be in the arena. He didn’t like to think about it.

"Do you know why Minho would want an alliance with me?" Jinyoung asked. He wanted to talk about something else besides the heaviness of what came after. He may not even have an after to consider if he didn’t make it through the next few days.

“For the same reason Ten's mentor and Donghae's mentors came to me to discuss allying with you," Jaebeom said to him, "they see you as a potential threat as the crowd favorite. Also according to their reports from training people think you are someone strong enough to outlast everyone."

"Why?" Jinyoung questioned, he didn’t get any of what they’d seen, "I did nothing in training to make that even seem possible. I didn’t show my skills…”

“What it comes down to is that when you volunteered you had a fire in your eyes. You still have that fire in your eyes with everything you do,” Jaebeom stated as if it was the most natural answer. “I bet everyone in Panem has seen that video of you standing up for your brother. No one who enters the games with that fire dies there. You have something no one else has and everyone who has watched for the games knows that means you are the clear favorite to win.”

“That’s not true,” Jinyoung said, “I’m nothing, there is nothing different about me!”

“It doesn’t really matter if you see it Jinyoung. You passionately told me that first day that you’d win the games with or without my sorry ass,” Jaebeom spoke with a laugh, “I saw it then, what was different about you. No one ever talked to me like that before. I went back and watched the video where you volunteered and saw it again, clear for all to see.” His words jogged Jinyoung’s memory to what Sana had said, she had basically told him the same thing about Jaebeom’s reaction to his words.

“Maybe someone needed to point out to you that you’re an asshole,” he glared. He didn’t like the way Jaebeom was speaking, he didn’t like that anyone could read things off of him like that.

“Touché,” Jaebeom responded and Jinyoung noticed there was a small smile on his face, “but honestly tell me what went on in training the past two days. It is curious that you doing nothing get’s so much attention.”

“I spent some time with Sana at lunch,” he replied, “I alternated stations for survival skills, I trained with Minho so I could be better with a sword, and I practiced with the bow but was sure to never hit near the center of the target…”

“How can you just make sure you never hit near the center?” Jaebeom questioned. He didn’t seem mad that Jinyoung had practice the bow even when he was told not to.

“I just shoot where I aim and I can hit it,” Jinyoung replied, “so I aimed away from the center of the target and hit wherever I intended to hit.” Jaebeom laughed.

“I guess it makes sense and that was good thinking on a way to get some practice in,” he replied, “what else did you do?”

“I worked hard on plant identification and survival skills,“ he said, “and I met the youngest kid in the games this year, Jungkook.” Jaebeom looked sad hearing that name.

“He’s younger than I was when I won,” Jaebeom replied, “but since my win people are harder on the kids. His chances aren’t high.” Jinyoung wanted to help though, he didn’t like the idea of Jungkook dying in that arena. He was so small and he reminded Jinyoung so much of his brother. He didn’t deserve to be there, none of them did but it was more heartbreaking to see a younger child there.

“I just don’t know what to do sometimes,” Jinyoung said because it really bothered him, “I just want to save everyone.”

They see you as a savior. Sana’s words echoed in his mind.

“Good,” Jaebeom said. Jinyoung knew he should be careful, he didn’t want to confirm what she was saying. Just because he wanted to save everyone didn’t mean he was different. He was sure a lot of kids felt that way when they faced what was coming.

“Good?” Jinyoung asked. He wanted to know what Jaebeom really thought.

“Don’t lose that. Don’t lose any part of your compassion or will to do the right thing,” Jaebeom replied, “don’t let them change you. You’re better than they want you to be and you have the power to make a difference. If you remember nothing else from me, remember that.” The power to make a difference? Jinyoung wasn’t sure what he thought of that. He didn’t feel like he had anything.

He was silent, unsure. All of this was so strange to him. He didn’t know what it was he really wanted.

“Tomorrow,” Jaebeom changed the subject, “you will be evaluated by the game makers and judges. You will be rated on a scale of 0 to 12 to determine your chances of winning the game. The higher the rating the better the game makers think you will do and the more likely it is that you will get sponsors. If you use the bow you will likely get a high rating which means I can get you more sponsors which could be what saves your life. You have to do well tomorrow to get their notice. I expect you will do well.” He wondered how his friends would do.

“What about Sana?” Jinyoung asked, “how do you think will she do?” If she was his ally he hoped that she was able to secure a higher rating as well.

“She could actually surprise you,” Jaebeom replied with an amused smile, “so don’t count her out just yet.”

They talked more about sponsorships and how they worked, the things they might need in the middle of the games. Jaebeom told him that he was already working on establishing a rapport with the sponsors that had set up. He wanted to get them the best chance he could. Their conversation went past that and Jinyoung found himself for the first time really enjoying Jaebeom’s company.

Jinyoung found him to be different than he had first thought. Jaebeom was actually kind, open, humorous in the conversation they had. He answered Jinyoung’s questions honestly and openly and didn’t shy away from any harder topics. There was a warmth to him that hadn’t been there before and Jinyoung didn’t know how to admit but he liked the feeling he got when he talked to him. Jaebeom’s company was easy, and Jinyoung was beginning to see whole different sides to him that he hadn’t before. He’d misjudged him entirely based on their first meetings. He realized Jaebeom had a lot of deep hurts which was why he had acted as he did but he seemed to be trying to move past those things that caused him pain. That was more than most did. Some people never tried to heal once things got difficult, but Jaebeom was different. He was a much stronger person than Jinyoung had given him credit for.

But still amidst the things he sad there was a bit of an edge and a strain to him. Jinyoung found himself wondering if the little points of warmth and goodness he saw were once the entirety of who the elder was. He wondered how much the games and what came after had changed who Jaebeom and how much they would change Jinyoung as well. He wondered because when Jaebeom told him not to let them change him, it seemed Jaebeom regretted how he changed.

The conversation went on a long time, it was too easy. Jinyoung found himself opening up about Youngjae and the things his father had done. They both talked more personally about themselves now that the walls had gone down but there were still many things neither of them would say. The conversation fit together like puzzle pieces they filled in the gaps of what each other knew yet left some open for another time. The conversation ended because it got late, and Jinyoung had started to feel the weariness from the day.

When they went back inside the rest of the penthouse was already asleep. Jinyoung checked the time to see they had been talking for three hours above which was a long time. He felt a bit embarrassed for taking up so much of Jaebeom’s time with all his questions and musings. It was hard not to over think some of the things that were spoken. Still they talked in the halls for a few more minutes, both still seemed to have so much to say to each other. They talked until Hani came out because they were making noise. She forced them both to finally go to their rooms and sleep.

They said their goodnights. Jinyoung laid on the floor like all the nights before, but what was different was all the things he had learned. How different the day had ended. He felt something of warmth in his heart, like he hadn’t just gained a mentor but a friend. He liked that thought. And with the day ended Jinyoung finally slept peacefully.


	7. Evaluations

That morning he woke up on the floor of his room and felt very well rested for the first time. He left his room to find Taehyung was up and sitting at the dining table even though no food had been brought up. Taehyung looked sat and Jinyoung took a seat next to him at the table, hoping his presence was a comfort. Taehyung leaned on him, he seemed so down and Jinyoung let him lean on him.

The next person to wake up was Sana and she sat on the other side of Taehyung at the table. Then Jennie woke up and say beside Jinyoung and Jungyeon also woke up and sat next to Sana. He knew why they were all feeling down and it was because today was evaluation and the games were coming up fast. After that day they had two more days of promoting them before the games would begin. Time was running out on them and none of them knew if Jinyoung and Sana would be alive a week from that day. 

"It's such an honor," Hani dribbled on and on after breakfast had began, "as the last to show off you will be the most remembered. I have great faith in both of you.” Jinyoung would never get used to the way she would speak, the way she would go on and on with her words. She out of all of them did not understand how it felt to be where they were. 

"Or you’ll be the the most criticized," Jaebeom inserted into her speech. Jinyoung sighed, it seemed Jaebeom had woken up grumpy. He kept glaring at everyone and every noise they made as he ate his breakfast.

"The power of image will win the day," Hani declared dramatically, "I believe in Sana and Jinyoung. They’re the most talked about in down! They’ll do very well!” 

“Her belief is not misplaced," BamBam responded, "you'll do well both of you." 

"Just don't drop the weapons you chose to show," Jaebeom responded in a dry tone. Jinyoung wondered what made him sour that morning. Jinyoung rolled his eyes. It was almost like they hadn't talked as much as they did the night before with the way Jaebeom was acting that morning morning. Jinyoung kept glancing at him and when their eyes met Jaebeom’s expression softened slightly before he looked away. Maybe there was a purpose, some game he was playing with how he was acting. Jinyoung couldn’t think why.

Breakfast went by quickly and soon they found themselves heading down to evaluation. This time it was Jaebeom who went with them in the elevator, he was quiet and observant of both of them. Jinyoung didn’t understand what he was thinking, or doing. Standing next to him Jinyoung got a bit of perspective as to how different Jaebeom was to him in build. Jinyoung was always slender but Jaebeom’s shoulders were quite broad. It was interesting how he was all sharp edges in the features on his face and in the way he was built. He had a scowl on his face, maybe he had a meeting with some mentor for the alliances that were upcoming.

Jinyoung didn’t know, but he did wonder if Jaebeom was only accompanying them now because he’d just decided to help. The elevator was down fast and as they went to step off Jaebeom grabbed his arm.

“Make sure they look at you,” Jaebeom said, his voice was just barely above a whisper and his eyes were right on Jinyoung’s, “whatever you have to do make sure their eyes are on you.” Jinyoung wondered why Jaebeom was giving him such odd advice but he nodded in response.

“I will,” Jinyoung responded, and Jaebeom’s face went from the scowl he had worn all morning to a slight smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes. Jaebeom let go of his arm and he turned away back towards where Sana was going. He glanced back and saw Jaebeom’s eyes were still on him. He quickly looked back ahead and wondered again why their mentor was acting so odd.

For evaluation they were all 24 trainees sat in a room together. They were told to sit and Jinyoung realized quickly how that would go. They all would wait for their name to be called and it was called in order of their districts. He also noted after the first 3 that the girls of each district went first and the boys went second. That meant out of all the tributes there he would be the one show last. That meant he had to leave an impression they would remember, he might have an advantage as Hani said. Still he kept wondering over the advice Jaebeom had given. 

He glanced over to Sana and noticed her hands were shaking. She moved them to clasp them in her lap, to stop them. He wouldn’t say anything but he was nervous for her as well. He didn’t know what she would be showing there that day, he didn’t pay enough attention in training. Not that she would have shown her skills. He still knew so little about her.

"Don't be nervous," he whispered to Sana, he hoped he could comfort her so she wouldn’t have to feel afraid.

All they could do was wait for their turn, and he realized the disadvantage of going last. There was no break for lunch for evaluations and they would have to sit and wait through every other tributes turn. They were only on district three when he started to feel antsy and realized how slow the rest would go. Hours began to pass and Jinyoung began to feel very stiff in his chair. He wasn’t used to not moving for so long. They were given no choice but to continue sit there and wait, there was no opportunity to stretch his legs. He was beginning to feel like it was a form of torture, one he wished Jaebeom had said something about. Some evaluations were done in around twenty minutes and others took much longer. 

Jinyoung glanced up as Jungkook’s name was called and he was glad the younger kid didn’t have to sit as long. He smiled at him with encouragement. He hoped for the best for the younger. After each tributes evaluation they were sent back to their residences and no longer had to wait. He was starting to feel thirsty as well as they were not given any water. There was a clock on the wall giving him an indication of time. It captured too much of his attention and as he watched the clock he felt like time was moving slower than it normally would.

Jinyoung wasn’t sure he could take much more when the seats were nearly empty and Sana’s name was called. She still looked nervous but she was doing her best to hide it.

"Good luck," Jinyoung said to her, and she nodded in acknowledgement. She then went in and he was the last left in the room. It was the last bit of time he had to wait and he began to run in his mind through the things he was going to show. Sana’s turn took closer to twenty minutes and then Jinyoung’s name was finally called.

He felt stiff as his name was called and he stood up eagerly. He walked forward through the doors in front of him into the evaluation room. It was a large open room with different weapons and test stations. Above it all there was a balcony and a bunch of men up there laughing and chatting with each other over a meal. Their attention moved on him as he entered. He said his name and district and walked towards weapons rack to grab the bow. 

He walked towards where the targets were and prepared himself. The bow in his hands was different than the one they had given him in training, he would need to adjust to it. He centered himself on the line, and drew back on the drawstring. He didn’t notch an arrow just yet, he wanted to get a feel for how powerful the drawstring was. He breathed deep and drew an arrow.

He drew back on the drawstring and aimed. He took another deep breath before he held tight then let the arrow go. It hit the target close to the center but not dead on. Jinyoung knew what adjustment he needed to make so he drew another arrow without missing a beat and hit the target dead center. He moved along the line and notched and fired again to the next target dead center. He aimed at the third one an an angle and fired once again hitting dead center. He shot a fifth arrow for good measure right next to one of his center hits. All of it was done in fast succession. 

He turned back towards the balcony to see what their expressions were like and was surprised when he turned back and found none of them were watching him. The chatter had resumed and they were more focused on the banquet than on him. Jinyoung remembered Jaebeom’s words about making sure they looked at him and they made sense in light of what was happening in front of him. He was angry at the sight before him and frustrated at how little the people up there cared. He hadn’t expected care but he had expected some respect. He hadn't eaten since that morning or had anything to drink. He was forced to stay seated in a room and wait for hours for this chance to prove himself and they weren’t even watching.

He wasn’t sure what came over him, he wasn’t thinking and there was no sense to his actions. He was just angry and his eyes landed on a bowl of apples that were sitting next to the game maker. The man’s face was filled with happiness as he was talking passionately about something. Jinyoung was going to make sure the only thing he was talking about before he left the room was Jinyoung. So he drew an arrow and notched it. He aimed, his eyes on the apples and he fired. He drew a second arrow and did the same until two arrows were holding apples into the wall.

The eyes of the room were instantly on the arrows in the wall. The chatter had stopped and their mouths dropped opened. Every single eye turned back to Jinyoung where he stood. There was a fire in his eyes as he glared at them. Part of him wanted to go and fire at the targets again now that he had their attention, most kids spent a long time showing different skills off but he was done. 

He would not give them any more of his time, they didn’t deserve it. He unhooked the quiver on his back and threw it and the bow on the ground before he strode out the door on the other side of the room. He wanted to give them the same treatment they had given him, complete disregard and disrespect.

When he made it out the door the person that was waiting for him on the other side was Hani. The expression on her face was one of surprise. No doubt she had expected his evaluation time to go longer. It probably should have but he would deal with whatever consequences there were later. He wished he could have thrown the bow and quiver up to the balcony at the game makers but he’d done enough.

"What did you do?" Hani demanded an explanation. 

"Nothing," he responded letting an edge show in his voice. He still hadn't cooled off from the anger he’d felt in there and he had no intention of talking to her about it.

"I don't believe you," Hani said with a suspicious look.

"I don't care," Jinyoung replied back in anger. She crossed her arms and simply led him towards the elevator. They went up and he should have known she had given in too quickly. As soon as they were back in the penthouse Hani grabbed his arm and dragged him. She was surprisingly strong and Jinyoung barely had time to react before they had moved past the main sitting room where Taehyung was sitting on the couch upside down.

"Wait..." Jinyoung protested as he tried to get her grip off his arm but she dragged him fast down the hall towards Jaebeom’s room. He didn’t know what she was getting at, but he knew she was mad and he was in trouble.

"Jaebeom," Hani shouted as she pushed the door to the room open, "Jinyoung's evaluation lasted 5 minutes and he won't tell me what he did!" Jaebeom was laying on his bed with a book in hand and didn't even glance at them despite Hani’s yelling. Jinyoung huffed and smirked at the mentor’s ability to ignore someone.

“Hey!” Hani shouted more, “Im Jaebeom!" He held a hand up to silence her and stayed focused on the book for a few moments. He then put his hand down, closed his book and looked up at them.

“What is it?” He asked, his expression looked mildly amused at the current situation.

"Did you hear nothing that I just said?" Hani questioned rashly.

"No I was reading,” Jaebeom replied, "and I would like to go back to that thank you, this novel really is thrilling.” He lifted his book again and Jinyoung was now the one who was amused with what the situation was. He didn’t know what else he expected, Jaebeom kept surprising him.

"Listen to me!" Hani declared and Jaebeom lowered his book again, "We could all be in big trouble!" .

"Please leave me alone," Jaebeom whined in response. He glanced at the book in his hands longingly and actualy pouted a bit. Jinyoung had never seen this side to his mentor.

"No,” Hani declared, “I will not leave you alone, not until you get Jinyoung to say what he did in his evaluation.”

"Ask him yourself," Jaebeom groaned.

"I did ask him!" She hissed, “he wouldn't say anything! He said it was nothing, but I know better. No one's evaluation lasts 5 minutes, NO ONE!"

"It was fine," Jinyoung piped in deciding to try and end whatever it was Hani thought was going on, "we're fine, they're fine. No one is not fine!"

"Hani is clearly not fine," Jaebeom retorted and Jinyoung couldn’t hold back another smirk.

"I know what happens to people who are insubordinate," Hani replied, "and those closest to them. If you want to be smug about this Im Jaebeom, then fine. Just know this, I am not leaving this room until Jinyoung tells us what it is he did in there.” Those words got Jaebeom to sit up, he set the book on the table by his bed and moved his eyes to meet Jinyoung’s with a serious expression.

"Jinyoung what did you do?" he asked. Jinyoung realized the reason why he was asking was because he wanted Hani gone. Jinyoung also caught out of his peripheral vision that the others living in the penthouse were all standing just out the door in the hall. Clearly entertained by the commotion.

“I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary,” Jinyoung said, "I shot some arrows, hit my marks and left." 

"Okay," Jaebeom said calmly, then he turned to Hani, "you can leave now." 

"It was more than that!" Hani yelled, "that can't be all!" She was stubborn and Jinyoung realized none of this would end until he gave her real answers.

"Well I did kinda shoot two apples off their table,” Jinyoung relented. He was tired, a day of doing nothing was surprisingly exhausting.

"YOU DID WHAT?" Hani and Jaebeom both said at the same time with completely different vocal inflections.

"It was nothing!" Jinyoung shouted back in defense of his own actions, "they weren't paying any attention to me so I demanded the attention. Jaebeom was the one who said to make sure they were watching what I did. It was fine, no one got hurt and no one looked mad."

"I'm FURIOUS!" Hani yelled and Jinyoung expected similar from Jaebeom but he shocked Jinyoung the moment he started laughing. The whole thing was absurd, Hani was fuming but Jaebeom was sitting on his bed laughing. 

"What?" Jinyoung asked he glanced between then and saw the people in the hallway and glared..

"You're ridiculous," Hani said to Jaebeom in frustration. She turned and stormed out of the room. Jinyoung breathed in relief. He turned to leave as well when Jaebeom stopped laughing and asked him to do something.

“Jinyoung please close the door and stay for a moment,” Jaebeom said, there was amusement in his voice so Jinyoung knew he wasn’t going to get in trouble. For a moment he thought maybe the laughter was a cover and Jaebeom was about to completely berate him for what he had done. He was starting to understand that it may not have been a smart move. It could easily be perceived as rebellious and land them all in a world of trouble

Jinyoung closed the door and turned back to face his mentor.

"How did they react?" Jaebeom questioned him calmly, the expression on his face was not one Jinyoung expected. It was one of fondness, a look of pride was in his eyes.

"They just stared," he replied, he wasn’t sure why he felt a bit awkward standing there. Him and Jaebeom had talked a long time the night before, it was safe to say they were on their way to actually becoming friends.

"What did you do after?" Jaebeom asked him.

"I just threw the bow down and left,” he replied, “if they weren’t going to give respect then I didn’t want to give it either.” Jaebeom nodded, he seemed to be contemplating something.

"Okay," Jaebeom said softly and he motioned towards the space next to him on his bed, "come here."

"What?" Jinyoung was confused suddenly by the turn of the whole conversation. What could Jaebeom want? Maybe to talk some more, he had told him everything that had happened already. There was nothing more to be said.

"Come here," Jaebeom said again, "it's not that confusing of a request." He patted a place on the bed beside him. Jinyoung was still confused but he listened and walked over to sit down next to Jaebeom. He took a deep breath as he did, Jaebeom’s eyes were watching his every move which was unnerving. 

"I bet you did all that with the same fire you always get in your eyes when your frustrated," Jaebeom said with a chuckle, “I’m so proud of you. I honestly would have done the same thing." Jaebeom then yawned and leaned his head on Jinyoung’s shoulder which Jinyoung definitely didn't expect. He tried to move back away.

“Hey,” Jinyoung said as he began to move away

"I'm sleepy," Jaebeom said suddenly and in the next second Jaebeom’s arms were around Jinyoung. It happened so fast as Jaebeom pulled him down till they were both laying on the bed, Jaebeom’s arms tight around him.

“What the hell are you doing!” Jinyoung shouted as Jaebeom had effectively trapped him. Jaebeom was much stronger than he expected though he should have expected it. Jinyoung tried to wriggle away but Jaebeom had him in such a position that he couldn’t even push back. 

"Shhhhh," Jaebeom said to him with another yawn, "I wanna nap." Jaebeom had him completely pinned as he laid his head on Jinyoung’s chest. Jinyoung couldn’t even move his arms up to try and escape.

“Jaebeom!” Jinyoung tried to sound threatening as he squirmed. Jaebeom seemed to already be drifting off despite his new pillow moving.

"It's hyung to you pretty boy," Jaebeom responded softly his voice deeper with the sound of sleep.

"Get off!" Jinyoung said with less strength than his last words. Still he was frustrated by this whole situation. He felt suddenly embarrassed by it, that he couldn’t get away no matter how hard he tried. He could barely move. He also didn't want to admit he actually felt comfortable with Jaebeom completely wrapped around him. He didn’t like the way his heart was pounding. He knew his face was probably flushed. Jaebeom moved a bit to settle in more comfortably.

"Go to sleep Jinyoung," Jaebeom said. Jinyoung didn’t expect a sudden annoyed tone of voice.

"I don't want to," Jinyoung declared, he hadn’t asked for any of this. He just wanted to go back to his room… At least that was what he thought he wanted.

"Of course you do, you look tired,” Jaebeom replied.

"Hyung let go," Jinyoung demanded with even less strength. Jaebeom was right about him being tired, but it was still completely wrong of him to do this.

"We can talk when we wake up," Jaebeom replied as he drifted off. Jinyoung got an idea and waited waited for the sound of his snores to try to break out again. But even in his sleep Jaebeom's grip on him was strong and no matter how much Jinyoung moved he didn’t wake up. So Jinyoung stopped fighting and adjusted his head to sleep, the pillows behind his head were soft. Jaebeom had actually positioned him more comfortably than he’d expected. 

He didn’t understand why Jaebeom was acting like this. He’d looked at Jinyoung that morning differently, they’d talked so long the night before and everything just seemed much different. He was tired and he didn’t want to think about it anymore. So he closed his eyes and soon he drifted off into a deep sleep.

He slept peacefully, deep and better than most nights. Jinyoung awoke around two hours later. He opened his eyes and was confused as to where he was. He looked around and didn’t immediately recognize the room. He was also completely alone and he remembered what had happened the hours before. He sighed, still completely confused with what had happened. Jaebeom was no longer there but he had pulled a blanket over Jinyoung sometime while he was still asleep. It was a caring move, the blanket was warm and soft. Jinyoung rolled his eyes and tried to grasp for some sense of annoyance.

He pushed the blanket off of himself and got up from the bed. As he opened the door and walked out he saw the coast was clear and started moving towards his room. That's when he heard noises coming from the main room. It was dark and he was feeling hungry. He turned and walked towards the main room and saw everyone was sitting around the couches with plates of food and the viewing screen was on.

"Jinyoung, you're awake!" Taehung was the first one to notice him, “come sit next to me! We're about to watch the evaluation scores!” Jinyoung saw that there were two open spots, one was next to Taehyung and the other was next to Jaebeom. Jaebeom shot a look at Taehyung who suddenly moved till he was sitting partially on the previously open spot. 

“Tae?” Jinyoung asked.

“Sit next to Jaebeom,” Taehyung said with a smile, and a nervousness to his voice. Jinyoung didn’t want to be standing there anymore so he just walked and took the seat next to Jaebeom.

“Come watch them sign your death warrant," Hani said incredulously. He still had too much sleep in his head. He almost leaned over onto Jaebeom like Taehyung usually did to him. He was beginning to be convinced Taehyung was actually the devil himself who was getting into Jinyoung’s head. Jinyoung rubbed his eyes and tried to focus on what was happening on the screen.

"Here," he heard Jaebeom's voice and looked to see the elder holding a plate of food out for him. He took the plate from Jaebeom and leaned back setting his focus back on the tv screen, not his mentor and his strange behavior. He looked towards Sana and saw her eyes on the both of them. He tried to read her expression but she didn’t give any indication as to what she was thinking. He knew that everyone there probably had assumptions about what was going on, he didn’t like it.

The announcer started running down the list of tributes they had and describing the stand outs. Jinyoung found it difficult to focus because just as he was getting into it Jaebeom wrapped an arm around him. He turned his head and met Jaebeom’s eyes, pointedly. He was questioning what Jaebeom was doing, he wanted to ask him what what was going on. But Jinyoung didn't want the rest of the room to look at them or catch on to where Jaebeom’s arm was. So Jinyoung just let it be. He turned his eyes back to the screen and the announcers began to run down the scores.

"From District 1," The announcer began.

"Sehun," the announcer said, "10."

"Lisa," the other one said, "10."

"District 2."

"Mingyu, 10. Wendy, 9."

"Disctrict 3."

"Daniel, 7. Jiyeon, 8."

"District 4."

"Chan, 8. Nancy 5."

"District 5."

"Jungkook, 8. Sohye 7."

Jinyoung sighed in relief upon seeing Jungkook's scores. He was in a good position and better than the girl in his district who was older. Jinyoung still felt like he needed to protect him as best he could.

"District 6."

"Minho, 10. Seohyun 6."

Jinyoung found it interesting to see Minho score a 10. He could be a potential amazing ally or a difficult adversary.

"District 7."

"Donghae, 8. Nana 5."

"District 8."

"Jaejoong 9. Yura, 4."

"District 9."

"Sungwoon 7, Somi, 6."

"District 10"

"Yongguk, 7. Elkie 3."

"District 11."

"Ten, 9. Krystal 6."

Jinyoung felt his body go rigid as he realized that him and Sana were next. They would know His score first it seemed then Sana's last. e felt a hand wrap around his wrist and turned to see Jaebeom’s eyes on him, watching him. He looked away back at the screen willing himself to be completely focused on what was coming. He ignored the way Jaebeom’s fingers moved in soothing circles along his wrist and palm. Jinyoung wondered again why he was putting up with this.

"And now for the final two, the tributes from District 12." the man said. Jinyoung focused on that.

"Jinyoung, 12. Sana 7."

The room erupted into cheers from the stylists. Both BamBam and Taehyung were showing their ages but jumping, screeching and chanting together.

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Hani shouted above the noise.

"Clearly not," Jaebeom spoke calmly. His grip tightened around Jinyoung's wrist, his thumb still moving in circles around Jinyoung’s palm. Jinyoung took a deep breath and moved his hand back away from Jaebeom’s. After a bit more celebration things began to die down. BamBam still let out a holler every once in awhile. Jinyoung got the top score in the entire pack of tributes. He was in a good place for sponsorships.

“You haven’t touched your food,” Jaebeom suddenly said. He leaned forward over Jinyoung to grab the plate and hold it in front of Jinyoung, “you have to eat this right now!” Jinyoung sighed and began to eat it, he didn’t want to get into it. He wanted Jaebeom to just leave him alone and maybe if he ignored him and didn’t react Jaebeom would stop. The stylists began to prep to sleep but Jaebeom ordered both Jinyoung and Sana to stay behind.

Sana sat down across from them, Jaebeom removed his arm from around Jinyoung and leaned back. Jinyoung scooted away slightly.

"You both know," Jaebeom said, "we have 2 days left." They nodded, it felt more real hearing it. Two more days, a banquet and an interview and they would be in the arena. They may not be alive by the time the sun rose in three days. Jinyoung felt uneasy about it. Every thing before him was what he had to do, because saving Youngjae was worth it.

“Tomorrow you will be meeting the president," he replied, "and the day after you will be interviewed for the public to see. The next two days are your last chance to make a lasting impression on the public. We need to make absolutely sure Panem is rooting for you when the cannon sounds. Both of your scores will be good for me to use to bargain with sponsors. But that's not all your image is already elevated by what Bam did with your costumes. What happens at the interview is on you. We will go over things with you so that you do not mess it up."

They nodded. Sana seemed speechless and after everything that was going on Jinyoung was definitely at a loss for words.

"How do you feel about the scores you received?" Jaebeom asked both of them. Sana and Jinyoung met eyes and looked away from each other. Jinyoung still found himself unsure of her as an ally. Jaebeom sighed and acted annoyed but he wasn’t committed to it. "Do I need to talk to both of you apart again?" Sana nodded furiously which Jinyoung realized hurt a bit. Maybe she suspected he would make a move against her since his score was so high.

Jaebeom waved for Sana to follow him and left. Jinyoung was left alone with his confused thoughts, he thought about just going to his room and going to sleep. What stopped him was that Jaebeom might have useful advice about what to do with alliances. He wondered why the elder was acting so strange when just 3 days before he had been so indifferent. He kept doing things that seemed to affectionate to make sense. What was he playing at? Jinyoung was analyzing it like it was an elaborate joke he was pulling. The time spent with Jaebeom apparently was shorter today because it wasn't long before Jaebeom was returning to the sitting area for him.

"Come with me," Jaebeom waved for him. Jinyoung got up and followed but they didn’t turn towards the roof. For a moment Jinyoung wondered where they were going then he realized. Jaebeom had led them back to his room. Jinyoung thought about how things went earlier and how easily and quickly Jaebeom had been able to pin him.

"I'm not napping with you again," Jinyoung said he stood at the doorway of the room the room, "no way." He wanted to be very clear about that to make sure Jaebeom wasn’t going to try anything like that again.

"Of course not," Jaebeom replied with a smirk as he walked to sit on the bed, "but still come have a seat while we talk. I just want to give you some pointers for the next few days.” Jinyoung walked in and took a seat on the floor. He didn’t know how to respond to everything that had been going on.

"So how do you feel about your score?" Jaebeom asked, he ignored Jinyoung's actions.

"It seemed a little high for what happened,” Jinyoung responded.

“It was actually scaled nicely for what you did,” Jaebeom said, "if you get ahold of a bow with that kind of aim you will have the clear advantage. A good marksman can easily win the entire game without issue.” Jaebeom paused and seemed a bit more contemplative. "But you are on the right track why would it be that high?"

"I can only think one reason why,” Jinyoung said as it dawned on him, "they want me to be the biggest target." Jaebeom nodded in response, he’d gotten it right. His heart rate increased at the thought and the only thing he could feel at the moment was a sudden fear. If he was the biggest target that meant every other person in the field would be after him.

"That is exactly what this is," Jaebeom responded, “they wanted you to be a target when you were already one. There is more at play.” If everyone was going to go after him that meant he couldn’t just go out there alone.

“So I will need an alliance," Jinyoung said softly. He hadn't been sure about any of it. An alliance wasn’t forever and it was dangerous but it might be more dangerous for him to wander out there alone without help. Maybe teaming up with Minho wasn't the worst plan. He was friendly to Jinyoung and he was a good fighter. They would work well together.

"Not everything has to be decided right here, right now,” Jaebeom replied, "a lot of alliances are formed in the arena. I have contacts on this side, I’ll make sure you have whatever help you need, I promise.” He realized having Jaebeom there was a comfort, it was odd but he felt like he could trust that he really would do whatever he could.

“I wanted to win alone but now I can’t,” Jinyoung spoke what he felt. Alliances always felt cheap.

"You weren’t ever going to be alone Jinyoung," Jaebeom said softly, “you have everyone here. We’ve all got your back and we all will do everything we can to make sure you make it out of there alive.” The way he said those words were with such conviction. It made him wonder even more, why Jaebeom was acting like this. He’d been so completely convinced Jaebeom would never help them after the things he said the first day. It hadn’t been that long and their bickering had quickly turned to some sort of rapport he didn’t understand.

They talked some more, with them conversation seemed to carry itself. It wasn't difficult to have things to speak about with so many questions running through his mind. Jaebeom kept reassuring him that it didn’t matter what fears he had that he would be in a good position when the games began. They talked for awhile and Jinyoung wanted to prevent another long conversation so he was the one who ended it and declared he had to go to sleep. He was still unease by the truth that he was going to have a fight on his hands inside the arena that he wasn’t prepared for. When Jinyoung left Jaebeom’s room he felt empty inside. He could feel the games looming over him with each step he took to go there and wondered what awaited him over the next couple days.

That night he dreamt of home, but this time it wasn't just Mark and Youngjae and his Father there. He saw BamBam, Taehyung, Jennie, Sana, Jungyeon, Hani and Jaebeom all there with him. He wondered how these people had become like family to him in such a short time.


	8. The Banquet

The night began with dreams, swirling colors and faces he knew well but it changed quickly. Fear crept into the images his subconscious gave him and dreams turned to nightmares. The images he saw were mixed specters of the game and scenarios he feared worse. Images of death, loss he couldn’t bear. He was trapped inside his own mind as everyone he cared about was taken from him and he woke up in a cold sweat. He was shaking, the images kept replaying. There was no Youngjae to hold onto, he was back in the room in the penthouse… alone. Since he was just a small child he always hated being alone.

He didn’t know why there seemed to only be one thing he could think to do. He found himself walking where his feet carried him as he willed images to go away. He searched for water and for some way to calm himself when he heard noise and turned to see Jaebeom. The elder’s eyes appraised him and Jinyoung wondered he he was having trouble sleeping as well. Jinyoung was still shaking when Jaebeom wrapped arms around him and Jinyoung didn’t fight it. 

The feelings of fear and the images left his head as he stood there with Jaebeom holding onto him. He was reminded for a moment of home, of having someone beside him. Jaebeom led him back to his room, Jinyoung found himself willingly laying beside the elder as Jaebeom wrapped him up in his arms. He was warm, there was something about it that made Jinyoung feel at peace. He was confused by it but he didn’t care. It didn’t matter, what did matter was that he felt safe there and that safety gave him peace. So he could sleep without the fearful nightmares in his head.

He woke up first that morning, he could feel Jaebeom’s breath against the top of his head. Jaebeom’s arms were around him, secure and he was trapped. His head was buried in the elders chest when he awoke as if he was hiding there from what was going on in his own head. He didn’t know what time it was he just knew all of this was strange and definitely not something he wanted questions on.

He tried to slide out from the elders arms so he could get away and go back to his own room before the rest of the pent house woke up. Jinyoung was able to move down a but but Jaebeom moved and Jinyoung had to stop moving so he wouldn’t wake him up. Jaebeom moved again and h slipped his arms back down to Jinyoung’s waist and pulled him back up without waking up.

“Wae,” Jinyoung whined. He was completely baffled with how Jaebeom accomplished keeping him there in his sleep. An idea occurred in his head as he looked at how the elder slept He wondered if maybe this was how Jaebeom held onto Jimin before she went to the games, with a grip that wouldn’t let go as he knew his sister would go to her death. Jinyoung wondered about it and that was the explanation that made sense.

He looked up at the elder’s face, he didn’t sleep with a peaceful expression. The look on his face was troubled, almost frightened. Jinyoung hadn’t ever analyzed his features before, he hadn’t thought about the twin moles above Jaebeom’s left eye or the sharpness of his jaw, the way his eyes were so small yet so striking. He was in every way Jinyoung’s opposite. 

Jaebeom’s reluctance and hardened heart were what lived on the surface to those who didn’t know him long. He was hard to talk to, so buried beneath the pain in his heart yet Jinyoung was beginning to see that beneath it all he was still as much of a child as Jinyoung was. They were both forced into roles they didn’t want, both playing a game made to destroy them. He began to recognize that Jaebeom was not so different than he was.

All these years he’d had to watch the the tributes in his care go to their death. That thought changed something in Jinyoung, it was like a piece that clicked into place driving him to believe he needed to come back. Jinyoung was determined in a new way that he would win the games, that he wouldn’t let himself fall in that arena. It wasn’t just for Youngjae & Mark anymore but he realized it was because of what he saw in Jaebeom. He wanted the elder to see someone make it through, to believe that he could have hope again.

He leaned his forehead back against Jaebeom’s chest as he felt tears in his eyes. The thought of Youngjae brought them, his precious brother was waiting for him to come home. The thought of 2 days left before it would begin struck him not only in that determination but there was fear in his mind. The fear of the unknown and the pain of feeling that he was walking in alone. He held it all inside for so long, but it was brimming up to the surface again.

He closed his eyes as a few tears escaped, he willed them to stay behind his eyes where they wouldn’t be visible to anyone outside. He believed he was stronger than he was acting in that moment, he could not cry. He wouldn’t let anyone see him cry, especially not Jaebeom. He breathed steadily as minutes passed then he felt Jaebeom’s grip on him loosen. The elders hand went flat against his back and he began to rub circles meant to be soothing. Jinyoung struggled more holding in the tears and small stray sobs that shuddered through his being like gasps for air. He couldn’t stop them from coming, he could just shut his eyes to trap them in.

Two days left. Two more days until it would be a fight to make it home. He understood why it was messing with him, the fear and the cruel a situation they were all in. Because he often felt unsure that he could do it alone. He had confidence, determination, belief… yet among all that he was still so afraid.

He knew for sure Jaebeom was awake as the elder shifted and moved. His hands still moved with in comfort against Jinyoung’s back. Jinyoung tried to stop the tears, to damn them up inside himself. He felt embarrassed for crying and for waking the elder like this, he didn’t want Jaebeom to know so he pretended he was asleep. He kept his head down away from Jaebeom’s view. He thought he could pretend the elder didn’t know what was happening.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebeom whispered his name. He held his breath almost if he could will himself to disappear if he did. 

“Jinyoung,” Jaebeom said his name again, “you’re okay, it’s okay.” Jinyoung tried to block him out because hearing those words made more tears fall. Sympathy made things worse.

“Stop,” Jinyoung said with frustration. He wanted to stop the emotional display he was showing. The elder’s hands stopped moving and he stopped speaking. Jinyoung thought maybe he would really stop. But Jinyoung couldn’t predict any of his words or actions.

“You don’t have to hide it.” He said, “it’s okay to cry. I know how it feels, I understand.” He paused and Jinyoung just wished he would stop. “I’m scared too,” Those words were words Jinyoung did not expect. What did the elder have to be afraid of? He just shivered to push any sobs and cries behind, he still willed it all to just go away. His pride wouldn’t let him give in to accept the comfort Jaebeom was offering. All of it was too much for him.

He then noticed the opening in front of him, the elder didn’t have a strong grip on him anymore. So Jinyoung took his chance to push away, get up and away. 

“Jinyoung,” Jaebeom called gently for him as he rushed towards to door and out of the room. He moved fast through the halls focused on getting away. Once he got back to his own room, shut the door and put his back against it. He breathed in, his body still shaking from how emotional the morning had made him. With time running short everything was coming out at once. The games… he didn’t understand why they existed. He didn’t understand how people could be so horrible, but they were. That’s all they were, a disappointing mess.’

He cried there in his room, he was more afraid than he had been in a long time.

He didn’t know how much time passed as he had moved to lay on the bed in his room His tears were spent and he felt numbed down. There was a knock on the door. He wasn’t sure what was going on as he had drifted in and out of sleep. Taehyung opened the door and he stood in the doorway with a comb and his makeup kit. Taehyung must have known that Jinyoung wasn’t feeling well was up because he wasn’t his normally bubbly self. He nodded and he said nothing. Jinyoung knew he was there to style him.

Taehyung walked over and sat down next to Jinyoung on his bed. The young stylist started gently stroking his arm in comfort. He had grown used to Taehyung’s way of showing affection. Jinyoung never had much of a physical boundary with his friends and family, not that he’d ever had many friends. He guessed it was easy for him to get used to Taehyung. It was strange, he realized Jaebeom was acting like Taehyung lately not like himself. Jinyoung was confused by him.

“I need to do your hair and makeup,” Taehyung finally said breaking him from his thoughts, “it’s an important day today. Bam wants it done perfect.”

He sat up in response so he could let Teahyung work but there was nothing he wanted to say. He didn’t like words much growing up, they could be used to hide so much. He’d rather stay silent and say nothing than to pretend it was okay. Taehyung sat across from him and moved his head, Jinyoung let him do what he needed to do.

“You’re hair is a disaster,” Taehyung said, there was a light sound of chastisement in his voice.

Jinyoung still didn’t respond. Taehyung moved to brush through his hair carefully. He made Jinyoung move to the room off the room so he could bathe him and put him through an assortment of strange treatments. Jinyoung didn’t see a point in fighting it, so he stayed silent and let Taehyung do what he needed to do. Taehyung had him sit on a chair as he worked with his hair. He spent a long time drying it, he cut some of it and worked on the style.

“Jaebeom’s acting strange,” Taehyung said, he’d been talking on and off explaining treatments. Jinyoung barely acknowledged what he was saying but Jaebeom’s name broke through his reverie. “Not that you wouldn’t have already noticed,” Taehyung added. Jinyoung couldn’t see what he was doing but he seemed to be easing up on what he was doing to his hair.

“Yeah,” Jinyoung said, his own voice sounded small to himself. It was barely above a whisper. He didn’t have the mental energy to put much into it, he had to get out of it soon but he felt safe more numbed down. No one could see his fears when he was like this.

“He probably has his reasons,” Taehyung said softly. He stopped with Jinyoung’s hair and a couple minutes passed before he moved a stool in front of Jinyoung and opened up his makeup.

“Are you nervous?” Taehyung asked him. Jinyoung wasn’t sure what Taehyung was referring it. If it was the games, yes he was nervous. Taehyung was being kind so Jinyoung decided to ask what he meant.

“For what?” Jinyoung asked.

“You’re Meeting the president tonight,” Taehyung’s said, he began to work on Jinyoung’s face. Jinyoung would never get used to the strangeness of having his face coated in a thick layer of makeup. It was hard for him to understand a culture where image was everything when he grew up with nothing. These people were so vain with all they had, they made everything a spectacle of image. Even the games were covered in a facade, to mask the cruel reality behind it.

“No,” Jinyoung responded to Taehyung’s question. 

“Well you’re shaking,” Taehyung said, Jinyoung hadn’t noticed.

“I’m cold,” Jinyoung replied, it was a lie. He wasn’t afraid of the president, he was afraid of how close the arena was. Taehyung put his tools down and got up. Jinyoung didn’t know what he was doing until he walked and grabbed one of the blankets off the bed. He walked back to Jinyoung and wrapped it around his shoulders.

“Problem solved,” Taehyung replied. Jinyoung was stunned, it was such a caring act. He had thought when he’d first arrived that these people were excited to put him in an arena for their entertainment but he was seeing a different side of them. Jinyoung wondered when it was that Taehyung started to care, but he could tell from that act and from looking at his expression that Taehyung was scared too. Probably for the same reason he was, for all BamBam had said. They didn’t like losing the kids who’d come.

He’d had so many prejudices when he’d first arrived but his prep team had torn them apart bit by bit. He was starting to seem them as a family, one that had opened up to him and taken him in knowing they could get their hearts broken again. In 2 days he would go in and might never come back.

————

"Good job Tae," BamBam said he held his hand up with an open palm and Taehyung hit it with his own. After Taehyung finished he brought him to BamBam’s room where there was a giant closet filled with so many different colors of clothing. Jinyoung didn't know what they were talking about till he finally got a chance to look in the mirror. He didn't recognize himself at all. His hair had been done up off his face, his eyes popped with the makeup Taehyung had applied to his face. It didn't look like the over done makeup the capitol citizens wore, it highlighted his features and made them stand out in a different way.

"I told him to keep things looking as natural as he could,” BamBam told Jinyoung. "Today all the tributes will be presented before the president at a banquet to give the sponsors a chance to celebrate the planning process of another successful games. Your impression here matters, do not step out of line. The president controls your fate more than anyone. If you cross him he will make sure you don’t come out of the arena.”

Jinyoung never expected the game to be fair, but he had hoped some part of it might be. It sounded like that wasn’t the case. 

"In the arena you will face more dangers than just other tributes," BamBam continued what it was he was saying, "you could easily die from traps set up by the game makers. Areas you previously traverse can become dangerous. Your guard can not be let down in the next few days nor once you go in. If you do anything they don’t like or something they find subversive they may choose to eliminate you."

He had more reason to be afraid than he realized. With what BamBam had said wasn't sure about anything upcoming. How was he supposed to stay in line? What offenses could he commit to warrant being eliminated. It frightened him to think that it could so easily happen.

"How?" the other two could see the fear in his eyes. He wanted to ask how he could stay in line and do the right thing but the words froze in his throat.

"Just don't do anything drastic," BamBam responded, "keep your personality quiet and focused in appearance. They won't find any fault with you if you are focused on getting back to your brother and that is your focus so you'll be fine. I just wanted you to know what you were up against.” Jinyoung nodded, he did just want to go home, but what if someone misconstrued his actions?

What if he did something that they found subversive or something they didn’t like? 

"Why do I feel like they're watching everything all the time?” Jinyoung asked him. He felt like he couldn’t relax anywhere he was, even there in the shelter of the penthouse.

"Because they have been since the moment you volunteered,” Taehyung said.

"Well that makes me feel better," Jinyoung responded, it was a sarcastic statement. It felt like a defense of how frightened he was feeling.

"Why?" Taehyung asked innocently, he didn’t understand. 

"He's not serious Tae," BamBam replied. He reached to turn Jinyoung around by his shoulders. "The outfit I have is more subdued for you today. Tomorrow you'll be glamed up again for the interviews.”

Jinyoung sighed as they pulled out clothes he was to try on for the banquet, it all felt like too much. He was getting used to it all being too much. Nothing about Taehyung’s picks were subdued and Bam didn’t actually argue much with him he just kept his own silent search of the closet. The first outfit he tried on was one of Taehyung’s picks that played up with too much leather. He joyfully declared Jinyoung looked pretty in it and BamBam thankfully said it wasn’t the one.

The second outfit they put him in was one Jinyoung felt much more comfortable in, even though it was nothing like he had ever worn in his life. They gave him pants, black collared shirt, black long jacket to match. It wasn’t flashy, maybe there was too much black but Jinyoung was certain he wouldn’t feel more comfortable in anything else after he saw Taehyung waving around a red suit. He wanted to wear one of the sweaters he had found in his room instead of the overdone clothes but he had to look the part.

"It's perfect!" Taehyung declared, he pushed at Jinyoung’s shoulders to spin him around in front of the mirror.

"It definitely is,” BamBam exclaimed in excitement, "this will definitely be different than what they put the other tributes in tonight. It's more natural, it will make you stand out more because people will see you and not the clothes!”

"I thought the point was to blend in," Jinyoung interjected. He wanted to be invisible so no one would pay him any mind and he could get through the next few days without accidentally getting himself eliminated before the arena began.

"You need to blend in and stand out at the same time," BamBam responded as if it was the most natural answer, “it’s like being sweet and salty at the same time!”

"That doesn't make any sense," Jinyoung replied, he didn’t understand what that was supposed to mean.

"It makes perfect sense!" Taehyung expressed as he bounced around Jinyoung with a tube of lipgloss. Jinyoung didn’t like that stuff, it made his lips feel gloppy and gross, he wanted it to stop.

"Please call the demon child off," Jinyoung pleaded with BamBam.

"Taehyung is doing a wonderful job," BamBam said he reached a hand to ruffle Taehyung's hair. The younger squeaked and ducked away from his hands behind Jinyoung.

"Don't mess up my hair," Taehyung shouted at him, "I don't want to look like Jinyoung did this morning when he came out of Jaebeom's room!" Jinyoung's eyes widened, Taehyung had been awake and had seen him leaving Jaebeom’s room? 

"Taehyung," Jinyoung groaned and he reached to push the kid away from him. BamBam laughed loudly.

"Okay Taehyung," BamBam said between laughter, "enough with the lip gloss, go check on what Jennie and Jungyeon did with Sana. Make sure they coordinated properly.” 

“Okay!” Taehyung shouted and he ran out of the room. Jinyoung sighed in relief when the noise in the room ceased and BamBam stopped laughing. He was silent as he looked in the mirror, he did’t recognize himself. He wasn’t sure he liked the version of himself he saw in the mirror, everything about it was a misrepresentation of who he was. He was playing the role, wearing a mask.

"Are you okay Jinyoung?" BamBam asked him. That was the kind of question that he could answer in many was. Still he never told anyone when the answer wasn’t positive, he didn’t open up easily.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Jinyoung questioned back. 

"I was just instructed to keep an eye on how you were doing," BamBam replied, “and you didn't answer the question."

"I'm fine," he responded to the second inquiry though his mind instantly identified who it was that would be asking BamBam to look out for him. He had slipped up emotionally that morning and Jaebeom wasn't leaving things alone even though Jinyoung made it clear he didn't want the elder involved. He didn’t want any of them involved.

"Fine means you're not," BamBam replied.

"Well I am," Jinyoung said, he knew he was just being defensive in the way he said it.

"Okay," BamBam said, "you don't have to tell me anything, but don't expect Jaebeom not to ask. It's funny I just told him to be nicer but I think he takes things to extremes sometimes." So was that the answer to Jaebeom’s strange behavior? Did BamBam just tell him to be nicer and that led him to becoming clingy?

"Just trust him," BamBam said as if reading Jinyoung’s thoughts, "he's a good person." Jinyoung didn’t say anything or look at BamBam. He didn’t want to talk about the confusing couple days. BamBam left him for a moment and came back with some jewelry. 

"You know if you were anyone else," BamBam said, "I would have pierced your ears 3 times. You'd seriously look good." He held up earrings next to his face. “Natural just fit you best.”

Jinyoung was glad that he didn't do any of that. He already felt like he wasn’t himself in the fancy clothes and perfect hair and makeup. Any more changes would have made him feel sick when he saw himself in the mirror. Jinyoung didn’t like how much he felt like the whole game was set up to make him change, to make him like the people in the city. Empty husks of humans, willing to accept atrocities against children.

Beneath it all he wanted to still remember who he was.

When they’d finished BamBam brought Jinyoung out to present him to Hani, who said she had veto power to any outfit chosen. Jinyoung had been worried about that but BamBam made it clear she didn't have any power over it at all. She just thought she had knowledge of fashion he couldn’t possess at his young age.

"It looks good," Hani commented when she saw Jinyoung, "a bit plain but good." BamBam smiled.

"YOU FORGOT THE NECKLACE!" Taehyung said running out of the room. Jinyoung looked at Bam with pleading eyes, he didn’t want them to add anything else especially not the giant necklace Taehyung had grabbed.

"Don't worry we're not adding that,” BamBam said and he moved to follow where Taehyung had gone towards the closet.

"You look good," Sana said, she was sitting next to Hani. Sana was dressed in a black dress to match his black outfit, it had lace detailing on top and a very small skirt. She was also wearing shoes that made her taller and her hair color had been changed to be slightly lighter on the bottom and darker on top.

“So do you,” Jinyoung told her. She did look very good.

“Now we just need to find Jaebeom,” Hani said, “where did he run off to?” She stood up and walked out to find him. In the next moment Jennie walked back in the room laughing

“You may wanna hide before Taehyung comes back,” Jennie said to him, “BamBam lost him.” Jinyoung wasn’t sure what that meant, how had BamBam lost him? He turned to see Hani walking back through the other doorway with Jaebeom following her. Jaebeom’s eyes met his and Jinyoung looked away as Jaebeom’s eyes flitted across him. Jinyoung felt a bit uncomfortable with the way Jaebeom was looking at him but he didn’t have time to think about it. He saw Taehyung jump into the room with a giant necklace in hand that looked like it would be really heavy to wear. There was no way he would wear that.

“I found it!” He said with a huge smile, “it’s perfect!”

“No way,” Jinyoung said, “can’t wear that.”

“Yes you can!” Taehyung exclaimed and he rushed towards Jinyoung. Jinyoung moved away quickly without thinking and he ducked behind Jaebeom. It seemed like a good play in his mind, maybe Jaebeom would be imposing enough that Taehyung wouldn’t get by him.

“Not fair,” Taehyung whined as Jinyoung watched Jaebeom push him back away from Jinyoung. 

“Enough,” Jaebeom said with a laugh, a large laugh. Jinyoung hadn’t heard him laugh like that in the short time he’d known him, it was a bright sound coming from him. He realized he liked that sound.

“No necklace!” BamBam shouted as he entered the room, “Give it to me!” Jinyoung glanced from where he was to see BamBam hold a hand out for Taehyung to hand the necklace to him. Taehyung relented and the chaos ended. Jinyoung felt relief when he found himself back in an uncomfortable position as Jaebeom grabbed his arm and pulled him next to himself. 

Hani declared it was time to leave, and they began to shuffle into the elevator. Jaebeom kept a hold on Jinyoung’s arm, that Jinyoung wanted to get out of but he didn’t want the others turning to scrutinize it. Jaebeom kept his hand around Jinyoung’s arm on the elevator and when they got down to the transportation that would take them to the banquet.

The others got in and as Jaebeom got in he pulled Jinyoung next to him. Jinyoung then pulled his arm away from Jaebeom’s grip as discretely as he could. His eyes met the elders in confusion, the expression Jaebeom looked at him with was unreadable. The transportation began to move and Jaebeom put an arm around Jinyoung and pulled him closer. Jinyoung decided there and then they really needed to talk about what the hell he thought he was doing.

He didn't think things could get more uncomfortable for him when they arrived at the venue as they were getting out Jaebeom grabbed his hand tight and started walking holding onto it. Jinyoung took an annoyed breath of air at that and pulled his hand out of Jaebeom's grip.

“What the hell?” Jinyoung asked, "stop it." The others were walking slightly ahead and Jinyoung said it as softly as he could while still keeping an edge to his voice.

"Why?" Jaebeom asked as he reached to grab Jinyoung’s hand again.

"I don't want to hold your hand," Jinyoung responded, he yanked it away again.

"Well I want to hold yours," Jaebeom replied. Jinyoung’s eyes grew, he didn’t understand what Jaebeom was trying to accomplish. Was this Jaebeom showing something more than just a mere friendly interest? Jinyoung didn’t understand how any good could come of that. He didn’t want to think about how his mind didn’t immediately reject the idea.

"So that doesn't mean you can just do it," Jinyoung shot back.

"Yes it does,” Jaebeom said, his eyes shined. Jinyoung was then sure he was being mischievous to mess with Jinyoung’s head. But for what reason?

"What the hell?" Jinyoung asked again. He didn’t want to deal with this, he had so much more to worry about. He couldn’t make a mistake or do anything to cause the game makers to kill him the moment he entered the arena. He needed to be focused and Jaebeom was messing with that. Instead of engaging further he just walked quickly away from Jaebeom towards the others. He was more confused than before. 

Jaebeom didn't make any obvious effort to catch up with him and he walked until he fell into stride with Taehyung & Sana. He noticed Sana watching him from the corners of her eyes, Taehyung latched onto his arm. Jinyoung didn’t immediately shake him off but he was getting tired of everyone grabbing him.

"What?" he asked her.

"Nothing," she said and she sped up her strides to walk ahead towards where Jungyeon was walking.

Jinyoung wanted to focus on what was ahead but he glanced back to see Jaebeom still watching him. He didn’t understand what the other was doing, he didn’t understand why he was acting that way. 

They walked through a back entrance and he saw other tributes and groups coming in. He was told by Hani that they would be escorted by their mentors district by district to bow before the President. It was a ritual to show the districts successes and their tribute to the common good. Within a few minutes of arrival to the large exit they would walk out of, they were organized to stand with their mentors. Jaebeom was placed between Jinyoung and Sana. Jinyoung kept his hands in front of himself, clasped together away from Jaebeom's.

"I won't try anything pretty boy," Jaebeom whispered sharply towards him, "just relax." So he was back to the condescending nickname.

"I am relaxed asshole,” Jinyoung whispered back. Districts were being called in front of him, he saw that there were much groups in front of him. Some of the groups had 3 or 4 mentors in them. No other district had just 1 like they did. All they had was Jaebeom.

As they were getting closer Jinyoung saw how the people were bowing outside the opening towards the President who he couldn’t see well from there. He was nervous about this moment as he realized how much weight was on this. They would be walking in front of the man who enslaved them. They would be bowing before the man sending all of them to death… Only one would come out alive. That man did this, he was in charge of the system.

Jinyoung knew he was about to stare into the face of his enemy, the man who instituted the system that called Youngjae to die. The man that killed Jaebeom's sister and countless others. The man that kept them starving, desperate and in need of the capitol's rare generosity to keep them subservient to him. He didn't even realize his hands had fallen to his sides and his fists were clenched, until Jaebeom's hand did grabbed ahold of his fist. 

Jinyoung gasped lightly as he realized that Jaebeom's hands were shaking. He opened his hand for Jaebeom’s in response, he didn’t pull away. He realized what was really going on. Jaebeom had been forced to do this many times. He could feel an intensity on the grip Jaebeom had on his hand. He knew now that Jaebeom's hate for that man was greater than his own, what he had seen in his years probably was more than Jinyoung could understand. 

I lost everything

That was what Jaebeom had said that night before he ran away having said too much. He had to bow to the person who took it from him every year alongside kids that were always doomed to die. Jinyoung felt the emotion of it and all his confusion melted away to a shared feeling. There was a desperation in the way Jaebeom gripped his hand as if to ground himself. Jinyoung intertwined their fingers.

It was a silent way to say he was right there. He understood then why it was so hard for Jaebeom to give any care to the tributes, why he was as broken as he was. Because he couldn't do anything about this, and he had to come here every year and bow to the man who took everything from him. Jinyoung understood so much more in this moment. This is the man he couldn't cross, who he had to bow low to in complete servitude and respect. He had to forget himself for the moments before him because that man could destroy him and everyone he cared about on a whim.

President Yang Hyun-suk.

He couldn't breath as he saw District 11 was called before him. Jinyoung knew he had to let go but somehow the grip of his mentors hand in his was all that was holding him together and he wondered if it was the same for Jaebeom. Still he knew what was going on here. He knew it was all a show, a ritual of submission. They had to let go.

"District 12."

Jaebeom was the one who let go first, and Jinyoung caught a look of surprise on the elders face as he looked to him but there was no time to think. They walked out onto the stage in front of their enslaver. He felt like every movement of his body was on autopilot, he didn’t want to be there. He followed Jaebeom’s lead and all three of them got on their knees before him and bowed their heads to the ground. They stayed down for what felt like forever, Jinyoung didn’t move because he could see Jaebeom hadn’t moved.

“You may rise,” President Yang’s voice spoke, Jinyoung breathed out and stood up with the others. He looked at the man in front of him, there wasn’t much too him but he started to see the look in his eyes that could strike fear. Jinyoung was afraid. The man reached out for Sana’s hand and she reached forward to give it but Jinyoung could see she was shaking. The President looked her over then turned back to Jinyoung to offer his other hand.

His eyes met Jinyoung’s, he looked him over but his eyes came back to Jinyoung’s in a clear curiosity. Jinyoung found himself wanting to look away but he held his gaze because he felt like he had to. The way he looked at him was different than how he’d looked at Sana. He soon looked away but he held onto Jinyoung’s hand tight.

“Ah Dear Jaebeom," the man spoke to his mentor, "these are the two your district submits for the cause of peace?”

"They are," Jaebeom said and Jinyoung could tell how much the elder was masking underneath his calm words. Jinyoung found he wanted his hand away from Yang’s and back in Jaebeom’s.

"Such beautiful treasures," the older man said of them, "don't you think so." Jaebeom's eyes met Jinyoung's and something passed through them, he didn't understand. Jaebeom didn’t look at Sana.

"They are."

He remembered Jaebeom's words on the train, that this was a sick game they made him play and he wanted no part of it. That was the future of any victor. If he won this was his future as well. He would stand next to Jaebeom and whatever kids had been reaped to present children for the Capitol’s entertainment. He would have to mask any hatred for fear of repercussions against those he loved.

Yang could take anything and everything away.

"By my measure they'll do well," the President said he looked to Jinyoung again. Jinyoung didn’t like his expression, his eyes were intense as if searching for something in Jinyoung.

"They will," Jaebeom said his tone deeper less controlled. Jinyoung hated feeling the man's hand in his, Jinyoung hated that they had to submit to him. Jinyoung hated seeing Jaebeom under a controlled gag order to a person as evil as Yang was. Hatred in his heart grew more and more seeing Sana's discomfort and his heart was pounding.

"Well then," the President said, "I look forward to watching the show." Jinyoung looked to see something on Jaebeom's face, the expression in his eyes. He had stopped concealing the hate he had and the old man laughed seeing it. "You haven't changed at all Jaebeom. The results wont either."

"Understood," Jaebeom said to him. There was a challenge in his eyes and when the president let go of Sana’s hand. He pulled Jinyoung closer, Jinyoung wanted to look to Jaebeom but he was scared to. Yang squeezed his hand and when he finally let go Jinyoung felt relieved. Yang waved him off and he stepped back. Jinyoung found himself with Jaebeom’s hand back in his own and he led Jinyoung off the side of the stage to take their seats. Jinyoung's heart was beating so fast from fear, he didn’t know what to think.

There were cameras everywhere, his mind was buzzing. He wanted to escape but Jaebeom’s hand held onto his. His mind was ablaze, confused by what had just happened. The exchange between his mentor and the president was raw and blazing. People stood up on stage to make speeches about the ritual of the Hunger Games and Jinyoung was frozen with his hand on fire in Jaebeom's.

He looked at the elder and saw a dark expression on Jaebeom's face. Still his eyes met Jinyoung and that expression softened from anger to fear. He let go of Jinyoung's hand and focused on what was in front of him. Jinyoung wondered what game Jaebeom was really playing. He looked up towards President Yang again to find the man’s eyes were once again fixated on him, Jinyoung looked away quickly. He was scared for what it could mean.

As the banquet went on there was time for interaction between all those sitting at the table and Jinyoung looked up to see a man approaching their table with little Jungkook's arms wrapped around his middle.

"Namjoon," Jaebeom stood up to greet him, "it's good to see you!" They clasped hands together.

"You as well," Namjoon said in response. "Jungkook wanted to come over and see Jinyoung.” Namjoon patted the little boy's head, "but he didn't want to come alone."

"Jinyoung, Sana this is Namjoon," Jaebeom said, "he won the games 5 years ago."

"Hi," Jinyoung said to greet the victor and he looked at Jungkook and smiled. "Jungkook, how have you been doing?" The younger boy just smiled and shrunk back more behind Namjoon. It reminded him of what Jaebeom said, that he was Jungkook's age when he won the games and since then things got harder on the younger kids.

He wondered what was going onto Jungkook's mind this whole time, this preparation. Namjoon's easy smile and kindness, seemed like a good mentor for the young boy. Still Jinyoung knew, he would do whatever he could to protect him once that canon sounded. That was where he was most conflicted about his goals. Get home or do the right thing? He didn’t think he had it in him to push anyone aside who needed help.

"How have things been?" Namjoon asked Jaebeom, they seemed to know each other marginally well.

“Almost the same as always," Jaebeom said, “I’ve been trying to kick the alcohol habit.” Jinyoung didn’t realize it might have been a bigger effort for Jaebeom to be as sober as he had been. He’d been drunk once, but if he had bigger issues that was progress.

"Good," Namjoon said, “I’ve been trying to get Yoongi off it too. We need you both to be fully here. It's better for you and the tributes." That made Jinyoung wonder about the friendship in front of him. How far back did it go?

"It's just been difficult," Jaebeom replied, "things keep getting worse in 12."

"5 as well," Namjoon said, "I don't know what President Yang is thinking but he's creating a perfect storm. We’ve been under martial law for years, I'm worried about what’s going to happen.”

"I'm not," Jaebeom said with an edge to his voice, "something will break sooner or later."

"What are you planning?" Namjoon asked, his eyes narrowed as he seemed to evaluate Jaebeom.

"I'm not planning anything," Jaebeom responded, "I'm merely waiting. Time will tell, the system is rotten and the people aren’t going to stand for it forever.“ Jinyoung looked around, those were dangerous words to be saying out loud at a Capitol banquet. 

"Just be careful," Namjoon cautioned, "your actions don't just effect you anymore.”

"I know," Jaebeom said with a sigh, he looked saddened.

"I gotta go now," Namjoon said, "I can't leave Yoongi alone too long, things have been difficult for him. I wish I could leave both him and Jin at home but the Capitol never lets mentors get a break.” 

"Stupid laws," Jaebeom responded, Jinyoung wondered about the other two that were mentioned. He glanced towards district fives table and saw a few people around it. One boy with blonde hair met his gaze, Jinyoung looked away.

"If the Capitol didn’t have those laws we'd be lacking in your company each year,” Namjoon said, "and I'd be sorry to miss that."

"Yeah, yeah," Jaebeom said with a sigh. So what Jinyoung gathered was that if Jaebeom wasn’t forced to come he wouldn’t come at all. 

“We’ll talk later,” Namjoon said tapping his shoulder, "Come on Jungkook. And it was nice to meet the both of you.” He nodded to Sana and Jinyoung.

"Nice to meet you too," Jinyoung and Sana both said as they bowed to leave. Jaebeom sat down and was silent, Jinyoung couldn’t tell what he was thinking as his expression was completely blank. No other word was heard from him the entire banquet, no matter how much the others tried to talk to him. No other mentors came to speak with him.

Jinyoung watched from across the room to see how Namjoon was with Jungkook, he saw the younger child was terrified. He saw the elders concern for him, he saw how much Namjoon cared about Jungkook & how hard it all was on Namjoon himself. Jinyoung's heart sank watching them interact, because they looked like brothers to him. There were others two who looked at Jungkook with so much love, and who looked at him with fear. The blonde boy seemed the most afraid, he also seemed very angry and eager to leave. Jungkook had people who cared about him, Jinyoung wondered if Yang chose Jungkook because of the boys who were his mentors. 

The evening ended after way too long, some sponsors came by to meet the tributes. Jinyoung as forced to smile and shake hands with people who were excited about the games. When it was over his mood had turned down. They met up with their prep teams again before beginning the journey back. Jaebeom did not sit next to Jinyoung as they were transported back to the penthouse, nor did he try any sort of physical contact. When they returned to the penthouse he went straight to his room.

Jinyoung sat out in the main sitting room as Taehyung removed his makeup so he could sleep. Taehyung made sure to tell him that his makeup absolutely had to be removed or else his skin would not be good. Jennie was helping Sana out in the main room as well. Jinyoung watched for when Sana would glance his way, she hadn't tried to talk to him much but there was so much she was seemingly saying with her eyes.

Taehyung finished and Jinyoung changed for sleep and went to his room. He sat on the floor of his room, his back against the bed thinking about the elders strange behavior. The way he had grabbed Jinyoung's hand after the President had let go, the look on his face. It was so angry, almost protective of Jinyoung. He was restless thinking about it.

He didn't know what drove him but he got up and left his room to go to Jaebeom's. He found the elder's door unlocked. He didn't bother knocking he just opened the door and walked in. Jaebeom was awake, he was sitting on his bed staring at a wall. Jinyoung didn't say anything he just sat next to him. He wasn’t sure what he was doing here, it only felt like it was where he was supposed to be. It was a strange feeling.

"I'm sorry," Jaebeom was the first to break the silence and the words were heavy in his voice. Jinyoung didn't understand why he was apologizing. He didn't say anything to try and explain it. 

"Why?" Jinyoung asked but it wasn't about his apology, it was about the push and pull. About everything he did and how strange he’d been acting. Jinyoung wasn’t sure what game Jaebeom was playing but some part of it felt like a game. The way he’d suddenly gone from messing with Jinyoung to clinging to him didn’t make sense. Jinyoung didn’t understand but a part of him wanted to know why, and another part of him just wanted more.

It was silent for a few beats more as Jinyoung waited for Jaebeom to speak, and the words he spoke were not ones that Jinyoung expected.

“I have to destroy him." 

Those words said so much, yet offered no explanation as to how he wanted to do it. Jinyoung saw more in those moments of how broken Jaebeom was, how his whole body shook with hatred for one man. Looking at Jaebeom, Jinyoung wondered if that was the future he had as well. If he won, they would sit side by side for a long time united in the same hatred. 

Maybe Jaebeom was acting the way he was simply because he’d been alone in the fight so long. The only mentor, the only one bearing the burden of what the games did to children from their home. But he wasn’t alone anymore.

"You're not alone," Jinyoung said, echoing what Jaebeom said that morning. They both understood each other differently now, Jinyoung saw that clearly. And Jaebeom turned to him with sad eyes.

"Then you have to promise me," Jaebeom spoke with emotion and conviction, "promise me you'll win, no matter what." Jinyoung was wasn’t expecting that request but he guessed he should have been. 

"But..." Jinyoung was about to remind him what he’d said about not changing. Winning no matter what meant no matter the cost to himself, the cost to those around him. He wasn’t sure he was ready to do that. Not with things the way they were, he wasn’t sure about anything. 

"No matter what," Jaebeom repeated strongly and Jinyoung couldn’t say anything so he nodded. He couldn't say no to Jaebeom.

And with that Jaebeom wrapped him in his arms again tight and laid them both down in his bed. Jinyoung was turned toward him and instead of resisting he wrapped his own arms around the one who was in many ways more broken than he was. He hoped that maybe he could fix some piece of the person in front of him who had lost it all. Maybe coming back was all he could do for him, maybe that was enough.


	9. The Final Day

And with that Jaebeom wrapped him in his arms again tight and laid them both down in his bed. Jinyoung was turned toward him and instead of resisting he wrapped his own arms around the one who was in many ways more broken than he was. He hoped that maybe he could fix some piece of the person in front of him who had lost it all. Maybe coming back was all he could do for him, maybe that was enough

….

_He dreamt of fire._

_Of flames licking their ways into the sky as he stared up at them. It was before him, the forest on fire._

_He stepped back from the heat of it though he couldn’t feel it. He reached for a moment curious…_

_He should feel the fire not just see it’s bright light, but he couldn’t feel it. He felt cold._

_He reached to touch it, and stepped to bring his hand forward to it._

_The flame licked around his hand, but he felt nothing. He stepped forward emboldened and stepped through the fire._

__

….

"It was risky!" He was awakened by loud whispers and BamBam's voice. He recognized it even in his groggy state. He laid still adjusting only slightly. The bed was soft, comfortable and he was still sleepy and disoriented… He was still in Jaebeom’s bed.

"I know," Jaebeom responded, "but this is about more than you could ever realize." 

"I realize quite a bit!" BamBam declared, "you're using him."

"It will all pan out!" Jaebeom argued back, "he'll win the games."

"That's not certain!" He was confused, he moved but realized he should stay still. That he should listen. They were talking about him.

"It never was!" Jaebeom responded, "none of it has ever been certain!"

"But you've put him in harms way even more," BamBam stated, "and do you even care about him?” He could hear breathing silence. Nothing. Something.

"You know the answer to that," Jaebeom said.

"Do I?" BamBam said, "what are you planning?" Jaebeom shook his head.

"He's been a target from day 1," Jaebeom shot back, "you helped with that. You and your perfect presentation of the tributes. Everyone was talking about Jinyoung the moment he volunteered, you made it worse."

Jinyoung began to feel bad listening to a conversation he wasn't meant to hear but he didn’t make any moves to let them know he was awake. He stayed still, settled in. He wondered what time it was and how the conversation had started. He wondered how he’d slept deeply enough to not noticed Jaebeom moving and part of that thought scared him.

He couldn’t sleep deeply in the arena.

“I believe in him Jaebeom,” BamBam said, “but it’s different. He’s not a martyr to me, he’s my friend.”

“You think that’s what I think about him?” Jaebeom questioned, “that he’s nothing but a sacrifice? He’s so much more than that!”

“When did this start for you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jaebeom responded.

“It does!” BamBam declared, “you grabbed his hand in front of the president put your focus on him and got the eyes of the most dangerous man in the country fixed on Jinyoung. You had a reason for that! Your actions could kill him!”

“Because he’s different,” Jaebeom said.

“Different how?” BamBam asked.

“When he volunteered it wasn’t about putting on a show,” Jaebeom stated, “or taking the glory. He was simply willing to die for someone else. That’s what the capitol is most afraid of, sacrifice.”

“And if we see Jinyoung succeed with his willingness to die,” Jaebeom stated, “what happens after that?”

“You think it’s that easy?” BamBam questioned, “that others haven’t tried.” Tried what? Jinyoung wondered what Jaebeom thought was going to happen. His heart pounding. 

“He’s different Bam,” Jaebeom said, “everyone knows it.”

“He doesn’t want that,” BamBam said, “he wants to go home.” Jinyoung shivered, he didn’t fully understand what they were saying but some of the implications frightened him. 

“And you’re toying with him,” BamBam continued, “why? What are you trying to prove?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Jaebeom said, “this is bigger than you and me yes but my actions are about tomorrow. About Jinyoung making it far enough each day to come out of the arena. That’s what I want, that’s what you want. None of what I’ve done is a problem.”

“What are you planning?” BamBam interrogated further.

“Giving Jinyoung everything he needs,” Jaebeom replied, “what he does with what we give, that’s all on him. But I’ve watched him each day, you can’t deny the difference in him.”

“I still don’t see how putting him in President Yang’s eyes will do anything good,” BamBam argued. How had Jaebeom’s actions put Yang’s eyes on him?

“He’ll kill him Jae,” BamBam spoke with real fear in his voice, “he’ll kill him like he killed Jiminie & Sungjin.” Jinyoung didn’t understand and he was frightened by the idea that he could lose so easily. It scared him to think someone wanted him dead because… Jaebeom. What had Jaebeom done? What was BamBam talking about?

“Not if you make him what he needs to be,” Jaebeom said, “make the public love him! You’re doing a good job so far!”

“It’s not that easy!” 

“I never said it was.”

“But we don’t have any other options,” Jaebeom said, “the public are already rooting for him, fan those flames.”

“And what about Sana?” BamBam asked. Jinyoung felt a chill in his body, he was cold. The blankets weren’t around him with Jaebeom gone. He was cold.

“What about her?” Jaebeom spoke defensively. Jinyoung began to listen closer.

“What’s her role in all this?”

“To do whatever she can to make it out as well,” Jaebeom replied.

“But if her mentor is for the other then what can she do?”

“I can get them both out.”

“How?”

“It’s complicated.”

“That explains nothing.”

“I can’t give you everything Bam,” Jaebeom said, “you’ll just have to trust me.”

“I do Jaebeom,” BamBam replied, “but I know you. I know how far you’ll go for this. Remember Jinyoung trusts you too, and you need to stop playing games with him.” Jinyoung shook a bit from the cold, from a strange longing for Jaebeom to come back but a confusion because of what Jaebeom was saying.

“This isn’t a game to me.”

“Well it sure as hell looks like one,” BamBam accused.

“Whatever,” Jaebeom dismissed his concerns, “you need to sleep, what happens at the interviews is all on you.”

“Thanks for that,” BamBam scoffed.

“I believe in you Bam,” Jaebeom replied, “I trust you.”

A few more things were said, none of it stood out to him. Jinyoung shook slightly from the words he had heard and all the implications he could draw. He didn’t really know what was going on, but he worried. He could hear footsteps coming towards the bed so he closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. He felt Jaebeom’s weight on the bed as the elder laid beside him. Jaebeom’s arm’s moved around him, Jinyoung stayed limp to seem like he was out. He didn’t feel like he was in Jaebeom’s grip quite as normal. He realized Jaebeom hadn’t fully settled in as drops of water hit his face and he realized the elder was crying. 

He didn’t want to think about it, something about the words spoke frightened him. Jaebeom was planning something, using him. But Jinyoung realized as Jaebeom’s arms pulled him close and he could feel the way the elder shook; whatever Jaebeom was planning it hurt him to.

Jinyoung fell asleep, warm.

Morning came. Jinyoung didn’t wake up alone, he woke up with Jaebeom next to him but not holding on to him. He opened his eyes, and stretched to adjust to being away. He looked around and rubbed his eyes a bit as he looked to where Jaebeom was. Jaebeom was awake sitting up, his back against the headboard. There was a book in his hand and his eyes were focused on it.

Jinyoung shifted towards him to get a better look. It fascinated him how Jaebeom focused on the book, on words that Jinyoung couldn’t read himself. He’d never been able to, but it was something he longed to know how to do. Jaebeom noticed him moving and turned toward him. Their eyes met and Jinyoung found his expression unreadable. Jinyoung took a deep breath and the words from the night before came back to him. 

BamBam’s words played over in his mind, that this was a game to Jaebeom, that Jaebeom was planning something. He didn’t get what kind of game Jaebeom could play by doing what he’d done. He’d gotten Jinyoung to trust him and to let him close. Jinyoung didn’t understand what he heard, it made no sense in his mind. What did Jaebeom want? More importantly should Jinyoung give it to him?

Jinyoung didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if he should call him out for what he’d heard or wait and see if he could understand him. His eyes looked down to the book in Jaebeom’s hands. Something he couldn’t do or understand, something he wanted.

"You can read,” Jinyoung observed though as he said it it felt like such a bland statement to make. He had seen the elder had been reading a book a few days before. It was something Jaebeom seemed to do often.

"Can't you?" Jaebeom asked him. Jinyoung thought about why he couldn’t. It was one of those things he’d just happened to miss out on. Circumstances were bigger than any desires he’d had towards learning.

"I was taken out of school young to help my mom…” Jinyoung trailed off but decided to continue explaining, “she was really sick, and she didn’t make it. After that I had to help my family survive, I just never went back. I had started learning when I was really young but never got very far." He didn’t remember what it was he’d had learned, it was so long before.

"I'm sorry," Jaebeom said. Jaebeom put the book down next to him and turned more towards him. Jinyoung was left to wonder again what all this was to Jaebeom.

"You always say that," Jinyoung replied softly, "and it doesn't apply right now, you didn't cause it." The elder shook his head and smiled softly at him. Jinyoung didn’t understand what the look in his eyes met.

"Want me to teach you?” Jaebeom asked. Jinyoung knew they had no time, he couldn’t learn it all in a day.

"I go into an arena to die tomorrow." He spoke the truth of what he knew was a possibility. But Jaebeom said he’d live, he’d win the games. Jinyoung wanted to know what Jaebeom would say to his doubt.

"You're not going to die," Jaebeom replied. There was some emotion in his eyes as he said that. What it was Jinyoung didn’t understand because it vanished as quickly as it came.

"You don't know that," Jinyoung pushed at it because he wanted to know what Jaebeom had to say for himself, "anything could happen." He didn’t believe things would be as easy as Jaebeom seemed to want to make them sound. Jaebeom shifted down a big closer and put a hand on his arm.

"Trust me," he said. It sounded sincere but Jinyoung was conflicted by what he’d heard.

"Why should I?" Jinyoung asked, and Jaebeom looked sad.

"Because I want to help you," Jaebeom responded, "I'll be here fighting for you, making sure you get out. I’m on your side.“

"Why?" Jinyoung asked next. He didn’t want to be confrontational about everything he heard but he wanted to know the truth. If it was all a game he wanted to know he was on a board. He wanted to know nothing Jaebeom said or did really meant anything… Did that mean he wanted it to mean something? He didn’t understand what any of it was. Why did Jaebeom pull him close as he did? Why did he do any of this after all they’d done was fought for days? Nothing about Jaebeom made sense to him, and the pieces he had didn’t fit together to form a clear picture. 

"Because I believe in you," Jaebeom said, "I believed in you the day I met you. You're going to make it out, I promise." Jinyoung didn't know how to trust him. That was the problem he was having. He knew his chances were best if he didn’t trust anyone, not even Jaebeom.

"What are you playing at?" Jinyoung asked him, "why do you act like you care?"

"I do care..." Jaebeom replied but it was empty, it lacked feeling.

“You don’t make any sense," Jinyoung cut him off and sat up, "what is the purpose of all of this!" He didn’t want to be pawned by anyone. He didn’t want to be a piece in any games, Jaebeom’s or Yang’s or anyone else's. He just wanted to go home so he could hold his brother again and lock out all that was going on around him.

"All of what?" the elder asked him.

"This," Jinyoung said gesturing to the bed they were in, the fact that he had walked into this situation himself. He had begun to really trust the elder, to find safety here but after everything he heard he didn't understand any of it. What could any of this mean? Why did Jaebeom pull him in? Why did he seem so interested in him one moment only to walk away in the next, it all contradicted itself.

"I like having you here," Jaebeom said softly.

"Why?" Jinyoung pushed him for an answer. Jaebeom was silent, he didn't give him anything. There was something unsaid, something in the way Jaebeom had acted the day before. This was a game and Jinyoung wasn't going to play it anymore. So Jinyoung did what he knew how to do, he got up and he walked away. The most telling thing of the whole argument was Jaebeom didn't come after him. Jaebeom didn’t try to follow him or try to stop him from leaving. The elder went far enough to confuse Jinyoung but never clarified anything.

Jinyoung walked back to his room and realized he couldn't think. He couldn't process anything. He had pieces but he didn't understand it fully. But he knew that there was someone who knew more than he did, and that he would have to talk to BamBam to get those answers. He knew he would get his chance when he was styled for his interview.

The morning was similar to the previous one except Taehyung wouldn't let Jinyoung sulk. He dragged Jinyoung to breakfast regardless and forced him to eat. Taehyung seemed to be ignoring that he felt similar to the day before. Jinyoung didn't look at Jaebeom at all as they all sat at breakfast. There was nothing to be said, and the confusion he saw on the others faces didn’t change that.

Taehyung helped Jinyoung through a morning of styling. He had to bathe again and go through the same level of treatment he’d gone through when he’d first arrived. Jennie begged BamBam to let her dye his hair but BamBam still refused. Jinyoung was glad of that. Taehyung did his hair like he’d done that first day as well. He did a good job but Jinyoung did notice that the younger wasn't his usual bright and open self, there was an edge to everything he did. He was focused. Like Taehyung knew that everything he did mattered. Jinyoung could see that Taehyung took it very seriously. When he finished Jinyoung's hair he then began his makeup.

Jinyoung was glad for the silence, he was glad to have Kim Taehyung in front of him. The younger seemed to have understood Jinyoung from the beginning in a way Jinyoung hadn’t realized then. Taehyung’s hands were skilled and steady. He’d done this job before, and Jinyoung knew he understand how it felt. Jinyoung didn't know when he volunteered that he would meet people who would change him. They’d changed his perspective of the Capitol.

Truly everything that had happened, all the preparation had changed him. He had been naive before. He’d thought he understood the way their nation worked, that he could step into that world… He felt so differently after the days he’d spent there. He had seen the darkness, he had seen the face of the enemy. He had seen compassion and he had seen kindness.

He was beginning to understand that the world he lived in wasn't just defined by his mothers death and his love of Youngjae. He could see better that were many people fighting and struggling. None of their struggles were the same. Not all of them had truly lost everything but some had. He knew he was changing and didn't know if it was for the better.

When he was done he was taken to BamBam who looked him over and high-fived Taehyung again. BamBam was more solemn than normal as well. They all knew what was coming. That it was the last day. The next day he would go in.

"For your interview you must stand out,” BamBam said, “I went back and forth on what kind of statement I wanted to make with your clothes, but this will do.” He pulled an outfit for Jinyoung and Jinyoung took it from him.

“I could do a lot more,” BamBam elaborated, “but part of your charm is more in who you are. I want people looking at your eyes not your clothes.” 

“Okay,” Jinyoung said as he changed. He didn’t understand the details of what the clothes he wore could mean but he trusted BamBam to know what to do. He looked in the mirror after he had changed and sighed.

The suit that BamBam selected wasn’t subtle in Jinyoung’s mind. It was red, a bright color that would draw eyes. It seemed to conflict with the words BamBam had spoke to him. He could tell BamBam liked the look on him, and it wasn't that he didn't like it he just didn't want to stand out. Despite what he had heard, that he needed to have the public on his side. Despite that he still wanted to keep his head down, to stay out of the spotlight.

Was it really too late for that? What had Jaebeom done? 

"Bam," Jinyoung said the stylist name, "I have to talk to you about something." It was best to ask about what was going on. He knew BamBam would give him straight answers where Jaebeom had failed to.

"What is it?" BamBam asked.

"I heard your conversation with Jaebeom last night," he said softly, "I wasn't really asleep."

"I thought not, you kept moving,” BamBam responded, "that's why I goaded him on, you needed to know what you were up against." Jinyoung wondered if it would have been easier for BamBam just to tell Jinyoung what was going on rather than all that.

"And what is that?" he asked, "what is Jaebeom doing?" 

"I don't know everything," BamBam said to him, "not even close. I can't read Jaebeom, no one can. That’s why he won the games, because he is unreadable when he wants to be. He let's enough out to get you to follow his lead and he knows just how to string people along.”

"Why did you tell him it was risky?" Jinyoung pressed further.

"Because," BamBam responded, "Jaebeom has nothing. That's what he really believes, that he has nothing to lose. That he is nothing unless he can destroy President Yang. He doesn't open up and let people in, he'll make you think he is but then shut you down the moment you see anything he doesn't want you to. The president knows, Jaebeom wants him to know how much he hates him. Jaebeom's never hid his disdain for that man. And that is why Jimin was killed. He wants to break Jaebeom, he never has. Even taking everything away from him didn’t change the way he looks at Yang.” 

"What does it have to do with me?" Jinyoung asked.

“It’s simple,” BamBam said, "Jaebeom knows if he looks like he cares about something the president will target & destroy that thing. Yesterday Jaebeom wanted to make it look like he cared about you and he succeeded.” Jinyoung's heart pounded as it was said. That was what BamBam meant about the danger he was in. If the President destroyed what Jaebeom cared about then, and Jinyoung… Jaebeom was playing a game the whole time.

Did he want Jinyoung dead?

"Why would he do that!" Jinyoung declared, he was shocked. He could feel a rise in his heart, a tightening in his chest he hadn’t felt since he was younger. 

"I don't know," BamBam responded, "he clearly doesn't think you’re going to die, at least he doesn’t want you to. He always gambles with the biggest risk he can, he thinks this time it will pay off. He thinks you’ll win the games and maybe he wants to prove something by bringing you home. I thought he was trying to get all eyes on you so Sana could take the game and win. Then Jaebeom could control a victor and make you a martyr. But there's something more to this game, I think he fully intends for you to win whatever the cost. I can’t be sure but I think he is daring the president to try and destroy you, he believes you'll outwit them all."

"But he can't do that!" Jinyoung declared, "he can't just do things like this. He can't put me in more danger I just want to go home!” What had Jaebeom done to him? What would be the result of his actions? Jinyoung was afraid. He’d opened himself up and started to trust Jaebeom only to find he’d been using him for something the whole time. He was frightened, he was terrified. The games was complex enough without anyone adding to it.

“He's already done it," BamBam stated, "it's too late. You can't get out of it now, all you can do is beat this. You have to win! You have to!" BamBam looked desperate. And Jinyoung remembered the night before, the pain in Jaebeom’s eyes as he told Jinyoung he had to win. Tears entered Jinyoung's eyes as he felt his chest tighten further, he wasn't ready for this. For any of this. There was more too it.

"And what does he get after I win?" Jinyoung questioned, "how does my win destroy the president?" He knew what Jaebeom wanted, that he wanted Yang dead. He’d do anything to do it. He saw that hatred on him as they stood before the president.

_The results will be the same._

That’s what the man said. Did that mean that since the President took everything from him, that he could take Jinyoung. He thought he could trust, care, Jaebeom was starting to seem like a friend. Jaebeom was starting to seem like an ally. Jinyoung should have known better, he should have known he could trust no one. That was the first rule of the game.

"I only know what I told you,” BamBam said, “the rest would be conjecture.“

"But I might have already won without all this!” Jinyoung said desperately. There had to be more to it. He knew there had to be much more. “Why did he have to make it worse, why? He just stacked the odds against me!"

"Exactly why I confronted him," BamBam replied, "I had to see what more there was to this. I believe the plot goes beyond Jaebeom. There have always been people waiting for a chance… They want a savior. They want more than just a victor. They want someone to inspire everyone to fight.” 

"I'm not that," Jinyoung's words came fast, “I just want to go home! I’m nothing. I'm nothing.” 

"No you're not," BamBam replied, "you were already everything President Yang fears."

"I don't want to be," Jinyoung said, "how do I stop this." BamBam shook his head, "tell me Bam, please!" He pleaded with everything he had now, "I just want to go home! Please!" 

"I can't fix it," BamBam said he had tears in his eyes now, "but I won't let you die. I promise. Jaebeom was right about the next step people are already rooting for you, you need them to love you. You need the people of the capitol eating out of the palm of your hand." 

"How?" Jinyoung asked, he felt so many different mixed emotions filling his mind. His thoughts were racing trying to find a way out.

"You must answer every question like this," BamBam said to him, "with confidence but humility. You have to hide your pride, you have to act coy and small. You can do this." Jinyoung knew just what BamBam was asking of him, to push aside a key part of himself. To be someone else. He had to be like Jaebeom, he would have to manipulate. He realized how much it stung, to know his mentor had be lying the whole time. 

"It's not going to be easy," BamBam said, "but I went through everything and realized it was the only way. You will have a tough time but I am telling you the role you play now. You are just a young boy who wants to go home to his father and brother. If they ask you about the high rating you got from evaluations, you say don't know how you got it. You aren't an excellent marksman anymore. You are simply a child who wants to go home. Be that to them, and you will get the support."

"Okay," Jinyoung said, "I'll try." He had to listen, to put on a show and performance. He had to keep his head down, let go of any confidence he’d had. That wasn’t going to be so difficult, he was already terrified.

"You can't just try," BamBam said, "you have to put on the performance of your life. You have to do this." He nodded. 

"I can," he said to show BamBam how willing he was to play his part.

"Good," BamBam replied, “I’ll be on this side with Jaebeom getting you what you need out there."

"I don't trust Jaebeom," Jinyoung replied, "you said it yourself you don't know how far these plans go. We can't see it. We don't know..." 

"Whatever he is planning," BamBam said, "he does want you to win. So we'll take that much from him and we'll send you home. That's all." Jinyoung began to wonder if he should trust BamBam as well. There was something about everything he did, something that seemed to bear a piece of the same defiance Jaebeom had. But he wasn’t hiding things from him, he was answering his questions.

Yet he claimed he didn’t know what Jaebeom was doing while he supplied Jinyoung with reasons Jaebeom could have done it. Jinyoung shouldn’t trust anyone but he wanted someone. He decided he would trust BamBam and follow what he said to do.

In all his confusion about what Jaebeom was doing, what he was trying to accomplish he had to hold to something. He would never have predicted any of Jaebeom’s plans. All he got was confusion and disjointed evidence that someone the elder cared. The truth was Jaebeom was about to throw Jinyoung into the games with all eyes on him. Apparently Jaebeom hoped that he could make it through, wanted him to make it through. Jinyoung was already there when he began, he was already a target, though he’d tried so hard not to be. 

"Why?" Jinyoung asked one more time. He couldn't understand any of this. He had never wanted any of this. His whole being just wanted out. He just wanted to go home and take Youngjae in his arms and protect him from the world around them. From the evil that existed in all of it.

"We don't always get to chose which paths we walk,” BamBam said to him, “there is nothing else you can do about what’s already been done. You can just endeavor to continue forward knowing you still have a chance. You can still win this.” Jinyoung knew given the choice before all of this was over, he would wish for nothing more but a chance to get out. What awaited him in the arena was impossible odds. If every eye was on him, if the president’s eyes were on him, he was as good as dead already.

BamBam stayed with Jinyoung during the rest of the afternoon, being that he was the only one who knew what was happening in Jinyoung’s head. Jinyoung asked BamBam to be there when they headed towards the interview site. BamBam stayed between Jinyoung and Jaebeom as Jinyoung requested him to. Jaebeom wasn't phased at all. It didn't seem to bother him at all that Jinyoung was clearly being kept away from him. And when the tributes were lined up he stood with Sana while Jinyoung kept by BamBam trying to remember what BamBam had told him. He knew he had to play the interview off as perfectly as he could.

Everything he did and said here on camera mattered and he didn't know what questions he was going to be asked. He had no other way to prepare but to remember to be humble, meek, small. Lovable was a word Taehyung had used when BamBam's coaching got too detailed. Taehyung tried to help and Jinyoung actually found his advice to be a perfect representation of what BamBam meant.

All the tributes were forced to wait through each interview. He got antsy just standing in the waiting area. Other tributes were eyeing him, he didn’t know why everyone kept looking to him. He didn't want to watch any of the other interviews so he walked a bit away from his group to breathe. He found a empty area to stand away from their eyes so he could calm himself. Everything here mattered so much more than he would have thought before. Every little action had a meaning. He went back in forth between fear that he couldn’t do and waves of confidence as he talked himself up in his own mind.

While he stood alone Jaebeom saw his opportunity to talk to Jinyoung again. Jinyoung was breathing deep when he heard footsteps. He turned around and he found himself face to face with Jaebeom, there was concern in the elders eyes. Jinyoung was angry with him, he was the one who had set him up to have to do the interview perfectly. Jaebeom had thrown him into danger.

"I don't want to talk to you," Jinyoung declared. He moved to try and walk around Jaebeom but the elder grabbed the tops of both his arms. He was moved and prevented from going. Jaebeom was strong and he blocked Jinyoung’s way of leaving the small hallway.

"What the hell," Jinyoung said to him as he pushed at him to get him to move.

"I don't care if you don't want to talk," Jaebeom said pointedly, "your acting strange, what's up?" 

"Nothing," Jinyoung responded venomously. He really didn’t want to deal with Jaebeom at that moment. He had enough to worry about with the situation Jaebeom had put him in.

"There's something wrong," Jaebeom stated, "you've been avoiding me." Jinyoung really wished he could vanish into thin air at that moment, and disappear from the conversation. There were things he did want to say to Jaebeom but it wasn’t the time or place.

"I have to get on very soon," Jinyoung said to him, "I have been with BamBam trying to focus on preparing. Not everything is about you.“ Jaebeom looked frustrated.

"What did BamBam say to you?” Jaebeom asked. Maybe he understood that BamBam would tell Jinyoung what he knew. 

"What he needed to," Jinyoung said. He wasn't like Jaebeom. He wasn't good at lying so he decided that he wouldn’t hide what he knew. "Everything."

"BamBam doesn't know anything. What did he say to you?” Jaebeom said defensively.

"He knows what you'll do for your own selfish agenda," Jinyoung stated, "that you'll hurt others."

“Jinyoung, I didn't do anything to hurt you…” Jaebeom responded and he had much more to say, Jinyoung could see that much.

"Please," Jinyoung cut him off, "you know exactly what it is your doing. I don’t want to be involved in your games any more and I have nothing more I want to say to you." He tried to push past Jaebeom again the elder wouldn't have it. He held onto him and prevented him from getting by.

"I am trying to help you," Jaebeom said to him. His voice low, it was desperate. Jinyoung was taken aback but he had to stand his ground.

"I don't want your help," Jinyoung said.

"Jinyoung please give me a chance to explain," Jaebeom asked. The desperation moved from his voice to his eyes. Jinyoung didn’t know what it was about how he did it, but something about Jaebeom made him feel safe… safe enough to let his guard down before. He couldn’t debate the reason he’d chosen to sleep in Jaebeom’s room was because of that. But Jaebeom wasn’t the person he’d thought he was, he couldn’t trust him.

He needed the conversation to end where they were. He had to get his mind back where it needed to be. His name could be called at any moment.

"I have to be focused on this now," Jinyoung said, he hoped he could get him to stop, "on this interview. If you want to help me you'll leave me alone at least till this is over!" Jaebeom seemed to get it.

"Fine," Jaebeom said, "but I expect you to allow me to talk later, once this is over."

"When we get back to the penthouse," Jinyoung replied. He shouldn’t have said it, he shouldn’t give Jaebeom any chance. But for some reason he had said it, and he would have to keep his word.

"Okay," Jaebeom agreed and then he moved out of Jinyoung's way to allow the other to go back. So Jinyoung went back and found it was almost Sana's turn to go out for the interview, he would be going after her as the last of the tributes. Jungyeon was clearly coaching her about it and she was nodding furiously in response.

"Are you okay?" BamBam asked him. The younger was clearly aware of what just happened.

"Yes," Jinyoung responded, "I'm ready to go." He wouldn’t let anything get in his way, he would do his job.

"Good," BamBam said, and soon Sana’s name was called out. Jinyoung watched the screen as she walked out with a big smile, perfectly concealing the truth of how hard this was for her. He’d seen it in her tense body language throughout the day. She put on an act perfectly, he needed to be more like her. He couldn’t get flustered.

"Sana!" the man who sat to do the interviews was smiling, it was fake, "it is truly a joy for us to see you, you made quite an entrance at the parade!" She just laughed at what he said, it was definitely the right move on her part. She looked sweet, gentle. There was nothing about her demeanor that betrayed the heaviness of what was coming for both of them.

"Don't you all think so!" He asked the crowed and they all clapped in response, "everyone finds you very charming my dear!"

"Thank you," she said with a small voice as she kept laughing along.

"Now tell us about yourself," he asked her, “we you are from 12 but we don’t know much more about you!”

"Yeah," she said with a sweet voice, “I am from 12, my father is a baker and my mom makes dresses.” Sana spoke with a smile and Jinyoung realized he didn't know those two facts about her. He didn’t know much of anything about her.

"So you were drawn for the games, a heroic moment really,” He responded. Did he really just call being reaped heroic? Jinyoung was a bit surprised at that. “What do you specialize in? What tricks do you have up your sleeve that will help you to emerge as our triumphant victor!” She laughed with a shy laugh. Jinyoung knew if he had gotten that question he wouldn’t be laughing. He would probably be flustered, he was beginning to question if he was ready.

"Well I'm really fast," she said, "and quiet. So I can get away really easily, and no one will see me coming.”

"Quiet, you do seem like a quiet one!" he said with surprise, "you seem a bit shy." She nodded and smiled. The people in the audience all awed at her which caused her to hide behind her hands with a laugh. The interviewer remarked how precious and charming she was again before calming the audience to ask the next question.

"So tell us, do you have a boyfriend back home rooting for you?" he asked her. She shook her head.

"Just my parents," she said with a laugh.

"But you seem like such a nice girl!" he said, "I would think there would be a hundred boys crushing on you!" She laughed and got really shy at that. She was clearly blushing.

"No No," she said and she hid behind her hands again sparking laughter from the audience. And her interview continued on with shy remarks and sweet smiles. Jinyoung did think in a way she had won over a crowd but he wasn’t sure how they would compare her to the higher rated skilled fighters in the mix. She was likely more of a sympathetic choice than a serious threat. He how assertive she could be so that led him to wonder why she would be shy here when it really mattered. 

He didn’t have time to analyze further because he was next and his name was called. He stepped out onto the stage before he could register what was happening. The lights in front of him were glaring and bright which caused him to flinch. The people in the audience were screaming for him, the cheers that were so loud he worried he would go deaf from them.

Why did they scream so loud for him? He hadn’t heard the crowd respond like that for anyone else. He walked to take his seat, his eyes adjusted to the light and the screams began to fade.

“Jinyoung! Welcome!” The man said with an excited voice, he smiled in response. “You have absolutely been the talk of the entire Capitol since you volunteered! You’re district 12’s first ever volunteer! Everyone was impressed by how heroic and brave you were to step in for your younger brother like you did.”

“It wasn’t bravery,” Jinyoung said. He had to remember the things Bam told him, he wasn’t confident. He had to be humble, small, inconsequential. “It’s just what made sense at the moment.” 

“Well since then all eyes have been on you. You impressed people in the victory parade,” he said, “ and you’ve even received a 12 from training and evaluation! Isn’t that amazing folks.” Cheers erupted again that were so loud Jinyoung winced. They faded and the interviewer spoke again.. “You enter as the clear favorite. How does it feel to be the favorite?” Jinyoung’s heard pounded in his chest, he didn’t want to be the favorite. He didn’t want to be the center of attention but there he could get more help. It was a difficult balance.

“It’s a lot of pressure,” Jinyoung said honestly, “I didn’t really think I’d be here with people watching me when I volunteered. I just wanted to go instead of my brother, I don’t think I really deserve this position. There are a lot of skilled fighters in this year and there is nothing really special about me.” He wasn’t sure how to talk about it. He was worried he yammered on too much.

“What are your skills?” the interviewer asked, “there must have been something you showed in training that got you the high mark you received.”

“To be honest I don’t know why I received that score,” Jinyoung responded, “I don’t think any of my skills are particularly special. You’ll all be able to judge for yourself soon since we’re going in tomorrow.” There were more cheers. He breathed deep, he hoped that was enough.

“Well your stylist have certainly done a good job with you,” the man said, “the coal to diamonds look at the ceremony was beautiful! Everyone was talking about it! Also what you wore to the banquet yesterday was so elegant, you have such a natural beauty to you Jinyoung. You have all the girls in the Capitol swooning, and some of the guys!” Jinyoung smiled unsure, shy.

“Well,” Jinyoung responded, “my stylist, BamBam has been doing an amazing job. All the clothes he designs are really nice.”

“How did you feel in that suit, with the lights? Was it warm? Everyone is so curious about how it felt to be in it.” the interviewer asked next, he was referring to the parade outfit. Jinyoung smiled slightly, it was a question he did have a response to.

“Well honestly,” Jinyoung began, “it was really hard to put it on. And it was so stiff it was really hard to move in it once it was on, we couldn’t sit down at all in those suites. And the lights were so bright I thought I’d go blind.” He said, he made sure to display a look of genuine concern as he added the last part. The crowd erupted into laughter and cheers at that remark.

"How did they get it on it you if that's the case?" the interviewer said with concern in his eyes. Jinyoung scooted forward and gestured to the interviewer who laughed at him.

“It was quite horrifying really, they covered me in oils, and slid me in!" he announced and the crowd continued to laugh at him, "once I was in I was stuck." He imitated how the suit felt with his arms and he stuck his legs straight out. "It looked good but it was not easy! I was worried when I was in that they’d never be able to get me out!’ Everyone was laughing so hard for several minutes. Jinyoung smiled shyly. He believed now that he had done his job to the best of his abilities.

"Well Jinyoung," he said, "we wish you the best of luck! We were all touched by your kind act for your brother and will continue to root for you in the games! Isn't that right!" He said again the sound of the cheers was almost deafening. Jinyoung felt the loudest he had heard from the whole interview. The interviewer shook his hand, he bowed to the crowd then waved and walked off.

As he got off BamBam met him and guided him to his spot in the lineup of tributes. All the tributes walked out on stage together one last time to the cheers of the crowd. He was next to Sana who did not stop smiling the entire time. He stood there and did his best to go along with all of it, he just felt so empty as he did. Every part of it a show, a game he didn’t want. It made him sick. The people were cheering them on knowing that in a few days only one of them would be living. The rest would be sacrificed in a show for a false peace. Everything in front of him, the people of the Capitol… they all prospered off the suffering of the districts.

When they left the stage he felt like he was going to throw up. He held it off, he tried to keep his thoughts at bay. He was so frightened by the reality that all the preparation was over and the next day things would begin.

He hadn’t forgotten about his agreement with Jaebeom, however he had no intention of honoring it. He needed to rest, and he wanted to stay away from Jaebeom after what BamBam said about his skills in manipulation. He would be safer not engaging. So they got there and he stayed by Taehyung so Taehyung would take him to remove his makeup. He didn't count on Jaebeom following them. Taehyung was happy to invite Jaebeom along because the younger of course had no idea of the tension between them. Jaebeom sat back staring Jinyoung down as Jinyoung tried to focus on everything else by the mentor.

"You did good!" BamBam said as he entered the room, "that was really good."

"Thanks," Jinyoung said glad to have someone else to talk to. BamBam noticed Jaebeom but didn’t back down from talking to Jinyoung.

"How do you feel about tomorrow?" BamBam asked.

"I'm ready," Jinyoung knew it was absolutely a lie. He felt like he was going to lose control of himself at any moment. He felt so sick.

"You're not quite ready yet," Jaebeom announced, "there are things I need to advise you on about what will happen tomorrow. I will come talk to you in a moment, after I finish with Sana." With that he left. Jinyoung breathed a bit easier and if Taehyung noticed anything he didn't point it out.

"Should I let him talk?" Jinyoung asked BamBam once Jaebeom had left.

"As far as I have told you, " BamBam said, "he is on your side enough that he wants you to win. Take the advice whatever it is, it might save your life.”

"But he may try something again!" Jinyoung expressed. He didn’t know how to best handle Jaebeom, he sent so many mixed signals.

"Don't worry about that," BamBam stated, "I doubt he'll try anything with his initial goal met. Everything else is on the games trust me." Jinyoung wasn't so sure about any of it.

Jinyoung felt the sickness in his stomach hadn’t left. He kept trying to hold it off but when his makeup was removed he rushed to a toilet. He vomited hard, he clenched his fists as he wiped his mouth. When he was done he tried hard to get the taste out of his mouth. He was nervous, scared, and it was all coming on him at once. He breathed deep and left the room. He was met by Jaebeom in the hallway, of course he wouldn’t let Jinyoung off easy.

"Come on," Jaebeom said he reached a hand forward and beckoned him to follow..

"I want to talk out here," Jinyoung replied, he didn’t want to go back to Jaebeom’s room. He didn’t want Jaebeom to wrap him up in his arms, and force him to stay there. He was so frustrated and Jaebeom was just making everything worse.

"Jinyoung," Jaebeom said, "just come with me." Jinyoung shook his head but Jaebeom was insistent. He knew BamBam’s advice was the right advice. He should take whatever Jaebeom was offering, because it could save his life early on. He followed Jaebeom predictably into his own room, he wished they would go onto the roof instead. The fresh air would probably do him good with the anxiety coursing through him. Jaebeom sat down on his bed, Jinyoung followed his lead. He sat next to Jaebeom.

"Okay so tomorrow. Tomorrow you will be put in a chute," Jaebeom described to him, "you will be lifted onto the battlefield. Your only indication of the terrain before then will be the clothing they give you. Once you are on the battlefield you can not move until the cannon sounds, if you move before that you will be blown up. Once the cannon does sound your only objective will be to run as far away from the center of the arena as you can. You begin with the other tributes in a circle around the center. In the center there will be weapons, supplies and food meant to draw you into a bloodbath right at the beginning. All the careers and hefty fighters will kill for it, you do not want to be a part of what goes on in that fight.”

Of course the game makers would set something like that up. Jinyoung wasn’t surprised.

"They'll try to entice you," Jaebeom told him, "the bow will be within your sights, do not go for it." Jinyoung wondered if the whole enticement was because of Jaebeom's actions. It made him felt more resentment towards the elder. They wanted him dead because of Jaebeom.

"Don't go for anything," Jaebeom said, "just run. The father you get away in a short amount of time the better, don't try anything else. Find water and stay alive." 

"But how can I fight if I don't have a weapon?" Jinyoung questioned.

"You'll get a weapon," Jaebeom said, "just trust me and run." Jinyoung nodded, but he had to wonder what Jaebeom was planning. He’d get a weapon? From where? "Most of the tributes will be eliminated at the beginning, you'll know as canon's go off how many. You'll know who at night, they’ll be shown in the sky. When you need to rest make sure you're well hidden as we talked about a few days ago. Stay near water but not too close as the others will also be looking for water.”

"What if there is no water?" Jinyoung questioned.

"There's always water, they want the games to last more than a couple,” Jaebeom replied, "but if you see it in small ponds taste it for bitterness first. If it's bitter do not drink it. You will die before the day ends if you do. If anything seems to good to be true, it is. Everything is a trap meant to lure you into danger.”

"Got it," Jinyoung replied trying to file all the information in his mind. Even with his resentment towards him Jaebeom was giving as good of advice as he could.

"I'll brief you and Sana both in the morning as well," Jaebeom said to him, "for now get some sleep." That was it. That was all he had to say. Jaebeom didn't attempt to force Jinyoung to stay, nor put him in a position where it seemed like he wanted him to stay. He simply let him go. BamBam was right, whatever he’d wanted to accomplish he’d already done. Whatever it was he was going to talk to Jinyoung about before, what he’d said he wanted to explain, he had cut it out and stuck to the basics.

So it was all just a game, everything. Jaebeom had gotten what he wanted, Jinyoung's reaction and his trust. He had used it where he needed it and Jinyoung didn't want to let that slide but maybe it was best to. Then again, Jinyoung was never one to hold back his temper. He was frustrated with Jaebeom and he didn’t want to stay silent about it.

"What the hell is all this to you?" Jinyoung let his anger out, "I knew you were an asshole but you had me convinced there for a minute you actually cared!" Jaebeom was not taken aback by his outburst, the elder seemed very calm as if he was expecting it. Of course he was, he had a read on Jinyoung from the beginning. It was Jinyoung who was blocked out from understanding the other.

"Jinyoung now is not the time..." Jaebeom was cut off.

"So you get to decide what time is good?" Jinyoung questioned, "like you've decided everything else without asking me. I'm not someone you can just manipulate and toy with!” He felt so much anger, he was even surprised by how easily it flowed. Why was he so angry? What had he actually expected from Jaebeom?

"I never thought that," Jaebeom responded unfazed.

"Then what the hell was that yesterday?" Jinyoung questioned, "and this now? Why did you do any of this? You literally keep pushing and pulling around based on what you want, and I don’t know what that is! I was beginning to trust you! Do you know what it is I want? I just want to go home, I want to go back to my brother not fight your war! I don’t want any part of this!” Jinyoung pushed at what he could.

"Well Jinyoung not everything is about you and what you want," Jaebeom snapped, anger flowed from him as well, "if you stopped being so self centered and just looked around yourself for 5 damn minutes you would know that."

"What are you getting at?" Jinyoung questioned. He was angry the elder would talk to him like that.

"You care more than that!" Jaebeom said, “there is no way you'll ever be content with just going home and going on the way things were before. Nothing will ever be the same for you. You know that, I know that. You're more than you realize, you could be much more if you just opend your eyes!”

"I don't want that!" Jinyoung said, "I never wanted that. I'm not your savior, I'm not your victor! I'm not your toy!"

“I don't understand what you’re mad about," Jaebeom said. “These words you’re saying they’re not yours, or mine. I never said any of those things, I’ve never felt that way!” 

"You're playing a game Jaebeom," Jinyoung responded to him.

"Well so are you," Jaebeom replied, "so is everyone in this damn country. No one lives their lives without being sucked into President Yang's game! You’ve always lived a game Jinyoung, you’re just now realizing it!” Jinyoung was about to talk and Jaebeom cut him off to continue, “You think you're immune to it? You think you can win here and escape it? So many people think that, then they die. Because that's what happens. You think that winning is a way out? It's not! I tried that."

"You did that to yourself,” Jinyoung shouted at him, "you chose to defy him."

"You know nothing." Jaebeom said it softer, he shook his head defensively. Hurt, Jinyoung had hurt him. 

"Then why don't you tell me!" Jinyoung shouted. He didn’t think Jaebeom deserved to feel hurt after what he’d done. “Tell me why. Why would you put the Presidents target on my back on purpose? Why did you defy him when you knew he had the power to kill your family! You’ve seen what he’s done yet you wanted me in the same danger as them? What makes you think I'll get out?" 

"You're using BamBam's words," Jaebeom said, "He doesn't know! He never lived in the districts, he was born and raised here in the capitol. He doesn't know what it is like to watch his sister starve, to put his name in 100 times to save the lives of his family! It didn't matter what I did to help my family. Nothing the Capitol or the President offers could ever matter!”

"Jaebeom," Jinyoung replied, "it's not about that! It's about what you did, what you're doing to me right now!"

"See it has everything to do with them," Jaebeom replied, "everything I do does. You're more than you realize. You could be everything, you could be the person who finally tips the balance in our favor! Jinyoung you could save us all!" He didn’t want that, he didn’t ever want that. He wished the world they lived in was different, but he knew he couldn’t be that person to change it. He didn’t want to be the person who lost everything in a war that was impossible to win. So many had tried, he couldn’t win, he knew he couldn’t.

"Then my point still stands," Jinyoung said, "you never cared about me, you only care about your agenda."

"See your wrong," Jaebeom said to him, "I don't have to do what you what to prove anything to you. From the first day I saw you I knew I was never going to let you die. And you don't realize this but the target was always on you. You're everything Yang fears, you were the moment you volunteered. You were never going to have it easy, I didn’t do that to you. I just changed the game enough to where when you win your victory means something." 

"And if I die?" Jinyoung asked, "you seem to be in denial that it could happen!" Jaebeom didn't say anything, his expression was unreadable and closed off. It was like so many moments he’d already had with Jaebeom. Jinyoung could chose to walk away, he could run away. But he stood there because he was waiting for Im Jaebeom to offer him something to explain what he was planning, anything. He wanted Jaebeom to say anything. To do something. Jaebeom did nothing, he closed off.

Jinyoung knew now, it was all nothing. Everything Jaebeom did was about his goal to destroy the government. Nothing more. He didn’t care about Jinyoung and Jinyoung wondered at that moment why it mattered to him. Why did that realization bother Jinyoung so much?

"I thought so," Jinyoung said to him before turning to leave. He didn't expect that this time Jaebeom wouldn't just let him walk away, he’d thought he would.

He felt Jaebeom’s arms come around him from behind, he felt Jaebeom's forehead come down against his shoulder. He felt Jaebeom’s breath against his neck, warm. He felt the elder shudder as he held onto Jinyoung tightly as if he he would slip away. As if he was just as scared for what was coming as Jinyoung was and as if he wanted to hold on. 

Jinyoung reached a hand up to grip his arm, he was frozen and unsure. He breathed deeply. 

And Jinyoung remembered Jaebeom’s tears the night before when he thought Jinyoung was asleep. He remembered the way Jaebeom’s hand shook as he held Jinyoung’s while they approached the president. Jinyoung knew, everything Jaebeom was doing he felt was the right thing to do and at the same time everything he had done frightened him. Jaebeom was scared it could kill Jinyoung. Jaebeom was scared Jinyoung wasn’t going to make it, and that frightened Jinyoung.

In that moment Jinyoung realized, Jaebeom did care about him. He cared much more than Jinyoung could have ever realized before. It was Jinyoung who found he didn't care. He didn’t care about Jaebeom.

So despite all of what was before him he felt nothing when he removed himself from Jaebeom's grasp and walked away for what might be the final time.


	10. So It Begins

Jinyoung wanted to take advantage of what they had before it was gone but he found sleeping on the floor was more comfortable than on the bed. He was nervous, he was restless. He knew what was coming. 

The morning came much faster than Jinyoung wanted it to and with morning came a heavy fear. He was growing familiar with the feeling, the way it clawed at his chest and forced him to focus on each breath he had to take. He didn't feel ready, he didn't feel okay and when Taehyung came in he accepted a hug from the younger. It was as if it was the only thing that could hold him together. Taehyung clung to him, he was shaking and afraid as well.

They didn't have long. Jinyoung’s heart pounded realizing time was slipping right in front of him. He and Sana had to be up and on their way very early. Breakfast took place too quickly.

Hani, Jennie and Taehyung were there with them, Jaebeom, BamBam and Jungyeon were not. Jinyoung felt strange about the absences. No one said anything about where they were. He’d expected Jaebeom to give them some last bit of advice before they went in. Jinyoung hoped Jaebeom’s absence was not his fault. Maybe he’d pushed him the wrong way and it resulted in Jaebeom not wanting to help anymore. 

It was hard when breakfast ended and peacekeepers came to take them. Taehyung clung to him and Jinyoung knew the younger had done this before. He’d watched tributes go before only for them not to come back.. Jennie looked empty in her eyes as she said goodbye to them. Sana seemed the picture of calm despite all the emotion. They were taken down the elevator by the peacekeepers and to a transport. He was glad they were not transported with the other tributes, he felt calmer with just Sana there.

When the transport stopped they were in some kind of building, taken out and pulled apart. He looked back at Sana one last time but she was not looking towards him. Jinyoung was brought to a cold metal room and the first thing he noticed was that BamBam was there. BamBam was holding clothing and he held it out to Jinyoung. Jinyoung could feel his body was shaking, he couldn't hide it. He realized where they were, they were below the arena and would be going up within minutes. Moments were moving too fast, he wasn’t ready. BamBam hugged him tightly.

"You're okay," the younger said, "you're going to be just fine.” BamBam showed him the clothing he would be wearing. There were a few layers. He had thinner pants and a shirt to go on first that seemed thermal. He put them on and they were warm. He also had a heavy reversible jacket and pants that matched. One side were greens and browns and the other side was white. Jinyoung wondered about it, he remembered his only clue of the environment would be his clothes. The white jacket reminded him of Snow, they were going out in warm clothes to snow. He was glad he knew the cold well, he would be able to handle it. He dressed with the white side out, if he needed to reverse it for cover he would do so in the arena.

Once he had the clothes on he realized they were lightweight and easy to move in, he would be able to run. There was a pair of boots BamBam also gave him which were white as well. He put them on and stood up. He wasn’t ready but he knew what he had to do once it all began.

"Pin this on," BamBam held something out for him, and Jinyoung saw the Ahgase pin that he had gotten for Youngjae. He hadn’t seen it since the reaping, it had been on his clothes when he was brought in. Jinyoung took it and looked at it in his hand. With it came the knowledge that his brother and father would be watching everything that was about to take place. He let a few tears out as he pinned it on his jacket, he missed them so much. He wanted to go home, and that all began here.

"Thank you," he said to BamBam. That he brought it for Jinyoung meant so much to him. He knew BamBam had saved it since the beginning for this moment, to give him strength when the younger knew he would need it. He needed it then more than anything.

"You know what happens next," BamBam said with a sad smile, “I will see you soon." The last words were said with confidence, BamBam expected him to come home. He didn’t want to disappoint him. With that BamBam left. After he did peacekeepers came for Jinyoung to escort him away, probably to the chute. It was time. He was taken down a series of hallways to another cold room and he was roughly pushed him. Someone caught him as he stumbled and he looked up and found comfort in a familiar face. Jaebeom had his hands around his arms and helped to straighten him out before letting go. Jaebeom had come after all.

"This is it," Jaebeom said softly. Jinyoung nodded, he didn’t know what to say or do. Everything he felt was just fear. “Any last questions?”

"How will I get a weapon?" Jinyoung asked. He knew that was one of the most important part of the games, being able to fight. He had to have a weapon as early as possible, preferably the bow. 

"So eager," Jaebeom replied with a chuckle, "don't worry, just do as I told you yesterday. Run and don’t look back. Get as far away as you can.” Jinyoung saw now just how good of an actor Jaebeom was, because he could put on this show. He could put everything behind him when Jinyoung saw the night before how much everything really effected him.

"Any other tips?" He asked Jaebeom. He didn’t want to go, he was scared. Part of him wanted to cling, to grab ahold of Jaebeom and hold on. He stayed where he was, despite himself.

"Stay hidden," Jaebeom responded, "and don't do anything stupid." 

"I never do anything stupid," Jinyoung countered. 

"Good," Jaebeom replied he looked up at something, "it's time." Jinyoung turned to look at the tube he would be going into. It was open and waiting for him. There was no going back, no way out. He had to go into the arena. He stepped forward to walk onto the platform. His nerves were buzzing. His whole mind was like a fire.

“Don’t be afraid,” Jaebeom said softly. Jinyoung turned to meet his eyes. "I'll be right here fighting for you Jinyoung, I promise." And the tube closed. Jinyoung clenched his fists and nodded, he kept his eyes on Jaebeom’s as the tube began to lift up. Until the elder was out of sight and he knew that it might be the last time he saw him. Jinyoung was lifted up and a hatch opened above him. Light streamed into the darkness, and he was lifted out into the light. 

He breathed deep.

It was beginning.

…

…

...

Jinyoung found himself above ground the light was blinding and as he expected snow surrounded them. It didn’t fully coat the ground it was in patches around. He looked around and he saw the other tributes. Every single one of them was in a circle around the center, each were on their platforms. He glanced off from the center, it wasn’t just snowy plains. There was a forest of pine and hills going up into mountains. He wondered if this game was actually set somewhere or if they built the arena themselves. It was so real. 

He looked around the tributes again and the center. He spotted Jungkook, the young boy was near him. Minho was farther away and Sana on the other side from him. He looked to the center and saw a bow and quiver right in front of his eye. He knew he had to fight his desire to run for it.

His objective was to run. The countdown suddenly started and Jinyoung was left with no time to think or calculate. He just had to run.

_10…_

_9…_

_8…_

He spotted a backpack near him, not in the center but strewn off. He could see items strewn all around like breadcrumbs leading straight to the center.

_6…_

_5…_

_4…_

His heart pounded as he fixated his eyes on the backpack.

_3…_

_2…_

_1…_

Jinyoung leapt off the platform with a burst of speed the moment the countdown hit zero. He ran toward the backpack with all his might, hoping it could help him to pick it up and get the hell out of there. He got to it, he grabbed it as he heard the cannon going off. The sound startled him and he knew what it meant from what Jaebeom had told him. Someone had already died. He looked up to see it was a bloodbath. The fight had begun and he had to get out of there.

Another cannon went off.

He turned and ran with all his strength. He put out everything he had to run for the forest and the cover of trees. He knew he needed to get away from the main field as fast as he could. He heard running footsteps and knew instinctually that he was being followed. He turned to see the girl from 2 was after him, she had knifes but he was much faster than she was. He kept forward running with everything he had.

He cleared the forest but he knew it didn’t stop there. He had to run until he was sure no one had caught up and that no one could. He kept running until he was so deep in the forest and there was no sound but the wind through the trees and the intake of breath to his lungs. It was in that moment in the woods he felt truly alone. He felt emptiness seep in as he glanced around. He breathed deep in relief that they were in a snowy forest, he knew how to navigate through snow and through forests. He’d grown up doing so. The immediate need he had was to find water and shelter to hide. He could figure out food and set up traps once he had a safe place to hide.

First he wanted to check what was in the bag he had grabbed, since he had risked his life for it he hoped it was worth it. He lifted it off his shoulders and around to where he could open it. He was surprised when he found a knife embedded into it. The girl from 2 had thrown one at him and the backpack had saved him. He felt tense knowing how close he’d gotten but he was relieved he had made it. He had a weapon as well because of what she’d done. 

He opened the backpack and looked at the contents. What he found inside was some rope, a sleeping bag, food, matches and a strange metal container. He opened the container and it was empty but it felt warm to the touch despite it being metal in the cold. He wondered and bent down to gather a handful of snow. He had a theory about what it could be for he wanted to test. He put the snow into the warm container and smiled as the snow began to melt. He would have no problem with water as long as there was snow and looking at the clouds through the trees he it was going to snow again. One potential problem was solved and there was water everywhere for him.

He walked through the hills to get a lay of the land. He drank the water and ate a bit of the food as he began to explore. The forest was beautiful and if it hadn’t been an arena he knew he would have loved it there. He went up into the hills, he kept going up. He hoped a difficult hike would dissuade others from going where he was going.

He reached the top of a high point and found a clearing where he could look out into the valley. More snow began to fall as he stared out. He saw a waterfall to one side, it was frozen over and almost hard to recognize for what it was. It was one of the most beautiful places he had ever been in his life. He could tell the sun was starting to get low and he wondered how long he’d walked. The sunset was probably beautiful from where he was.

Beyond the beauty of it he could see the real terrible truth of what the arena held. Down at the center of the arena it looked small but it was still apparent that the ground stained red with blood.

How many canon blasts had gone off? After the first too he’d tuned them out. So he didn’t know how many had already died but he didn't want to know. He just wanted to focus on the task at hand, his job was to stay alive. He had rope. He could make snares and hunt. Jinyoung decided the next best option was to find a place to lay low, to find some sort of shelter in the mountains. He needed to find something well hidden, luckily with the waterfall he had ideas of where to look.

So he set out through the mountains, he was nimble at traveling like this. He had done it at home. As he was walking he had a strange feeling, like the feeling that someone was following him. He couldn't quite decide, nor put it into words how he felt but he watched behind him and up into the trees and wondered. It could easily be Jungkook, he had a knack for staying out of sight and climbing high. Though Jinyoung wasn’t sure the younger could have kept up with his pace from before. It could mean Minho or Sana were following him, either could be fast enough.

Seeing as Jinyoung didn't know who had died already he couldn’t know anything for certain. He turned listening for the slight sound he’d heard again, and he listened for the changes in the winds that could clue him in to someone else being there. He listened for the trees as they swayed. He walked carefully with each footstep but still he saw nothing nor could he determine that anything was there. The sound of a cannon went off. 

He flinched. He needed to find a safe place fast.

He kept going, he couldn't think about those who were gone nor those who would be gone soon. Everyone here was an enemy and he knew he would have to watch his back. The sun was getting low on the horizon when he made it to the waterfall. The water from it was completely iced over. He knew better than to trust that ice to hold, his focus was to avoid the sharp icicles as he searched along the cliffs for any sort of carven entrance that could lead behind the waterfall. He saw a slight opening in the side of the rock and used his knife to break through some of the ice.

The sun disappeared behind the trees and the horizon as he worked. Once he got through the ice he found what he was looking for. He had an entrance into a cavern that was hard to detect from the outside. The main team of careers had the center of the arena to hold so they wouldn't look for shelter here. He was safe there for a short time though he knew it probably wouldn't stay that way forever. It was so dark inside that he couldn’t see well and with the sun setting things would just get worse.

Near the entrance there was some light coming in from the dusk and through the ice of the waterfall. But further back it the cave was completely dark. He didn't want to fall & hurt himself in here so he checked his bag for the matches. He needed some dry wood. He slipped out of the cavern to go find some and came back with it. He lit a piece of wood for a torch to search a bit and make sure he was alone. The cave was completely devoid of holes and other problems he didn’t want to deal with. Though he noticed it kept stretching on and on. Jinyoung wondered about Jaebeom's warning. He wondered if it was too good to be true that he found shelter but he was growing weary from hiking around and the dusk was fading. 

He decided to settle in for the night. He rolled out the small sleeping bag and made sure his canister was full of water. He put out the light and got into the sleeping bag. The night was freezing but the clothes he wore were thermal enough and the sleeping back provided more necessary warmth. He covered his face seeking the warmth away from the biting cold. He heard a canon go off in the distance as someone else was crossed off.

He wondered if the cold would lead the others to sleep or if the careers would keep searching for other kids to kill. He shivered not from the cold but from the knowledge that he could be next. The arena was full of dangers waiting to claim him. As he got lost in his thoughts he heard a noise and thought he saw a flash of light through the entrance of the cave. He sat up slowly, it was dark and he was careful not to make any noise. His eyes had partially adjusted to the lack of light and he thought he saw movement. 

He moved up slowly, not wanting to alert the other in the dark of his presence. He jumped forward and had the figure in a tight hold. 

A light shone.

“Hyung,” he heard the younger’s voice shake and he could see who it was. Jungkook. He let go of him and turned him around.

“Jungkook!” Jinyoung said, “don’t you know better than to be sneaking around people? I could have killed you!” Jinyoung saw how scared the younger look. He also saw the source of the light was coming from Jungkook’s hand. He was surprised at it when he looked.

“What is that,” Jinyoung asked as he saw on Jungkook’s wrist something that looked like a watch yet a powerful light came from it.

“Yoongi...” Jungkook just said the name of one of his mentors Jinyoung saw he was shaking. So Jinyoung reached forward & hugged, he held him close. He’d been worried about Jungkook and he hadn’t expected to find him here. He hadn’t wanted to think of where he might be and the fact that something might have already happened to him. Now he could see how scared Jungkook was and he wanted to protect him and to get him home.

“It’s okay,” Jinyoung said to him softly, “you’re not alone anymore, I promise you won’t ever be alone anymore.” And the younger started crying. Jinyoung wondered if he just happened to see anything out there that caused him to be more afraid than he was. He put the pieces together, Yoongi must have given him the watch to carry in. District 5 dealt with electricity and powered everything in Panem. There was more he needed to know. “Jungkook, I know you’re scared but I need you to tell me how you found me.” He needed to make sure no one else could find them.

“Namjoon Hyung,” Jungkook responded through tears and sobs, “he said to follow you, and to ask you for help.” Why would he tell Jungkook that? 

“Did he say anything else?” Jinyoung asked looking for any indication as to why. Jungkook shook his head. So he had no reason why, just that Namjoon must have known that Jungkook would be safe with him.

“Okay,” Jinyoung said. Jinyoung realized it Jungkook following all along and he wondered how Jungkook had kept up with him. Even as good of a climber as he was, he was so small and thin. “We need to rest while we can.” He then noticed Jungkook had a backpack. The implication of that, was that Jungkook stayed at the center long enough to grab something as well, maybe he had followed Jinyoung’s lead to do so. He was suddenly filled with worry that the younger could be hurt.

“Are you hurt?” Jinyoung asked as he checked him for wounds, “Jungkook?” The younger shook his head that he wasn’t.

“Okay,” Jinyoung said with relief and he embraced the young boy again. “I’m here, you’re safe now.”

And he pulled the small boy into the sleeping bag with him. Like he used to pull Youngjae close to him. He would watch over & protect this boy with all he had. Even if it cost him his own life.


	11. Arena's Dangers

The morning was cold. Jinyoung was up earlier than Jungkook and he knew it was important to hunt and get them more food. They didn’t have much between their backpacks. He ventured out for a short time to get some sticks in order to begin working on snares and traps. He didn’t want to leave Jungkook long so he found what he needed quickly. They would have to move on from this cave before dark came again. It wasn’t safe to stay in one place too long.

He had gone through Jungkook's backpack and found more dried meats, bowls and utensils. There was also matches and fire tinder like in Jinyoung's back pack along with a second sleeping bag. What the kid had picked up would be useful to them. They could cook whatever they caught more easily. He worried a fire would make them stand out even in the day light but he knew the evening was likely to bring in fog which they could use as cover. The only weapon they had was the one knife that the girl from two had hit his backpack with. They couldn’t do much with that, they needed something else.

Jaebeom said he’d get a weapon, not to worry but nothing had materialized. He didn’t think weapons could be dropped in by sponsors. He’d had a thought that maybe Jaebeom formed an alliance with someone else. He wondered if that was why Jungkook had followed him, he had no way of knowing from where they were. He couldn’t ask.

When Jungkook woke up, Jinyoung had everything ready to go out and set up snares.

"Good morning," Jinyoung said to him. 

"Hi," Jungkook responded, he still seemed tired. Looking at him even in larger clothing for the winter arena he looked small. Jinyoung wondered how they were going to last another day. He worried going out would mean being discovered. They would have to be careful and to take it slow.

"How did you sleep?" Jinyoung asked him.

"Good," Jungkook said with a small smile. 

"So I have a question," Jinyoung said, "how did you manage to follow me yesterday." Jungkook shrugged like it was easy.

"I was in the trees," he said, "I climbed one and moved between them to keep up with you. It’s easy to move fast up in the trees.” So Jinyoung was correct about his climbing, he’d seen it in training and expected to see it in play if he survived past the beginning. It was useful to team up with someone as light as him, Jungkook could undoubtedly get higher than anyone else.

Jungkook hadn’t spoken to him in full sentences since the first time he interrupted Jinyoung’s training to give him information. He seemed to prefer to keep quiet. Jinyoung understood he was shy.

"How did you learn to climb that fast?" Jinyoung asked him. Jinyoung had been running and though the terrain slowed him a bit he still felt he was moving fast.

"I just had to," Jungkook replied. His voice sounded sad, there were things Jinyoung realized he wanted to leave unsaid. He wouldn’t push Jungkook to talk if he didn’t want to but he had a feeling those words meant more than what was on the surface. He was sure as they got to know each other Jungkook would open up to him more, for now he was content with what little the younger was saying.

"How do you feel about going out with me today to set up snares?" Jinyoung asked. Jungkook’s skills could be useful in many ways.

"What?" Jungkook asked.

"Little traps for animals," Jinyoung said, "so we'll have more meat to eat as the days go on. Would you like to come with me?” Jungkook nodded. "Good cause I have a plan. I think you can be a lookout in the trees while I set them up." The little boy's eyes brightened.

"I can whistle to the Ahgases if I see someone coming,” Jungkook replied. Jinyoung wondered what he meant.

"What?" Jinyoung was asking now.

"The ahgases," Jungkook said pointing to Jinyoung's pin, “I saw them in all the trees when I was climbing. They’re everywhere. If you whistle to them they'll copy your whistle, and they’ll all copy each other so you’ll hear the sound from anywhere.”Jinyoung smiled at his enthusiasm but Jinyoung found he couldn't quite picture what Jungkook was describing. He was sure the younger understood what he was talking about so Jinyoung believed it was a good plan.

"I guess you'll have to show me," Jinyoung replied.

The two walked out with their packs, Jinyoung was carrying the snares he had worked on and Jungkook was carrying most of their food and supplies. Jinyoung wanted it that way cause if they ran into trouble at least Jungkook would be fine for a time on his own. They left the cave and moved into the forest. It was dense around them and the snow was thick on the ground. He knew they were going to make tracks through it, it was unavoidable.

"See in the trees," Jungkook pointed upwards. Jinyoung didn't know how he hadn't noticed the day before. There were little green birds everywhere among the branches, they almost looked like part of the trees but they sang beautifully.

"You just whistle like this,” Jungkook whistled two tones. The birds echoed it and each other till the sound filled the air through the forest. 

"Woah," Jinyoung said and realized the last time they had interacted Jungkook had been the one to say that. 

"And I can whistle like this," Jungkook said. He whistled a few sounds which together were beautiful. The birds echoed them over and over until the sound faded into the distance. Jungkook’s plan was definitely a strong one, he just had to listen for those sounds from the birds.

"Okay," Jinyoung said to him, "If I hear that whistle I'll know to take cover." He held up a hand for Jungkook and the younger high fived him. He realized he’d picked that action up from BamBam and Taehyung, and he found he missed them even though he had just seen them the day before. He didn’t want to think too much about the people waiting for him.

They settled into their parts for their plan, Jungkook took to the trees and Jinyoung worked on the ground to set up each trap carefully and also to make sure he kept a consistent route that. He knew how to hunt like this but he needed to be extra careful that no one was able to replicate what he’d done. He was setting his 5th trap when he heard the whistle. Or when he realized it was sounding. He realized he’d paid attention too late.

He could hear the noise of people coming. He scrambled up towards the other side of the hill but he heard their shouts. He knew he had been spotted. He had his knife ready and hoped Jungkook would do what he was supposed to and stay in the trees. Jinyoung would find his own way out.

"Shit," Jinyoung said as he moved fast. A knife flew through the air and embedded itself within one of the trees. The girl from two was after him and she was good he couldn't dodge those forever. He needed cover and height. He jumped up and scrambled to climb one of the trees as quickly as he could. One of the branches nearly snapped but he kept pressing forward and didn’t panic.

"There's no way out!" he saw who it was, it was Sehun, Wendy and Mingyu. He couldn’t fight off the three of them with a knife, it was a bad situation. He couldn’t see Jungkook from where he was but he really hoped the boy would stay where he was.

"There's always a way out," Jinyoung said and he kept climbing upwards. The bad thing was Mingyu was climbing too. Jungkook's whistle was still being echoed by the birds and Jinyoung knew he was closeby. Jinyoung knew he couldn't outrun them forever but he could give Mingyu no way to follow him. He worked to cut off and weaken what branches he could quickly using the knife as he climbed.

Another knife shot up through the branches it was so close that time but she didn't have an unlimited supply. She would run out if she kept throwing and she didn’t hit him. He just had to keep avoiding them. He was worried if she hit and wounded him what would happen. Most hits would likely be unable to kill him instantly.

He kept climbing, it was stressful but he paused when he heard shouts below and the sounds of metal clashing. A canon went off, someone had died. A fight had broken out and he had no way of knowing if it was another foe. Jinyoung looked down to see Mingyu looked confused and Jinyoung took his chance. He threw the knife Wendy had thrown at him towards Mingyu. He slipped in an effort to avoid it and ended up further back.

Mingyu wasn't even close to Jinyoung anymore and whatever was going on below got his attention. Jinyoung tried to see through the branches, all he could make out was two figures fighting each other. Since a canon had gone it was safe to assume Sehun or Wendy had been killed. Probably Wendy since she wouldn’t fight with a sword but rather she would have had a clean shot to throw her knives

Mingyu climbed down and Jinyoung began descending with care to see the face of the person who had come just in time. It was as he suspected, when he got close enough he saw Minho now working to hold off Sehun and Mingyu. Wendy was gone. Jinyoung had to do something to help Minho. Jinyoung dropped out of the trees, two knives in his hands ready to throw. But it seemed Mingyu and Sehun had no intention of sticking around since things had clearly moved out of their favor. They both took off running and Minho did not seem like he was interested in pursuing.

Minho looked at Jinyoung and smiled that easy smile he’d shown Jinyoung in training. Jinyoung was relieved it was Minho who had come, anyone else he wouldn’t trust to at least give him a break before turning on him. Still Jinyoung knew it was different now, they were in the arena not sparring buddies in training. Only one could go home.

"When I saw them going out for a hunt," Minho said, "I had a feeling they were after you. It's good to see you alive Jinyoung.” He sheathed his sword and held a hand out for Jinyoung to take in friendship. Jinyoung still had his knives out and ready for attack. He wanted to trust Minho, he wanted to accept him into his alliance with Jungkook. It would certainly be useful to have him around but Jinyoung knew he couldn’t. He wanted Jungkook safe so he couldn’t trust anyone else.

"I wish I could say the same," Jinyoung said, "but as it is I can't trust you. We are better off going our separate ways from here Minho. Thanks for your help but you know where we are now and how this goes.” Minho laughed at him, but it was uneasy.

"Jinyoung we're on the same side. We’d be better as allies,” he said, "I even picked up some extra weapons for you." Jaebeom had said he would get a weapon without telling Jinyoung how that would happen. Jinyoung also remembered that Jaebeom was the one who told him to be wary of trusting Minho. Sure he had been friendly in training but it was different out here. He could easily be waiting for Jinyoung to drop his guard to take him out.

"Even so," Jinyoung said, "there's no point to being allies, we'll just turn on each other in the end. You know it, I know it so let’s just leave it here and hope we don’t end up facing each other in the end.”

"I told you Jinyoung," Minho responded, "I am not interested in playing their game."

“You can say that Minho," Jinyoung replied, “but you haven't earned that trust.” He wasn’t going to let Minho stay. He still held the knifes strong, he couldn’t make an accurate throw but Minho didn’t need to know that.

"Jinyoung I'm not your enemy," he said.

"I know Minho," he replied, "but we're not in charge of this game and it will change us. It would be better for us to stay apart." Minho looked saddened, it seemed sincere. Jinyoung almost faltered but held his ground.

“That’s okay,’ Minho stated, "you'll have another chance, you'll see by then that I really do want to help you.” He turned away before speaking again. “And here,” Minho picked up the throwing knife belt off the ground, Jinyoung was sure Wendy was wearing it before, “you’ll find this useful even though I’m pretty certain you don’t know how to use them.” Minho threw the knife belt in front of Jinyoung then proceeded to leave.

As Minho walked away Jinyoung lowered the knifes in his hand and realized with the truth that Minho had said, Jinyoung was at his mercy the whole time. He had no way to win if Minho had actually chosen to fight. The thought scared him as he realized he still had no viable weapon and he was vulnerable in the game. He had to protect himself and Jungkook and he couldn’t do that with throwing knifes. He would have to practice with what was in front of him, but he didn’t have days to pick up a new skill. The careers were hunting him and they were only down by one. There were still three of them after him and Jungkook. 

He looked up searching the trees for the young boy. He spotted Jungkook though it was very difficult to do so. The boy blended in well with the branches. Jinyoung beckoned to him to come down. So Jungkook listened and climbed down. Jinyoung could see the young boy was shaking slightly.

“It’s all okay,” Jinyoung said. Jungkook took steps forward and hugged Jinyoung tightly.

“I kept whistling,” Jungkook started speaking quickly, “you weren’t moving. I was so scared.” Jinyoung ruffled the kids hair.

“It all turned out okay,” Jinyoung said. The young boy nodded but he didn’t let go of Jinyoung for a bit. They checked the snares together and Jinyoung had success caught a few small animals. He packed them up, he would skin them and prep the once they got out of the area to somewhere safer. He didn’t want to stick around long. 

They headed up the mountain because Jinyoung was sure it was best to go as far as they could. They began the long trek into the icy cold. It was colder the higher they got, the snow banks were deeper then they had been a day before and deeper higher up the mountain where they didn’t melt off as readily. Jungkook was struggling over the banks so Jinyoung stopped to put his backpack on Jungkook and shifted their arrangement to carry the younger up on his back.

The snow was glistening in the sun, so beautiful but he treaded carefully. They didn’t want to make a mistake and end up losing the games because of a misstep.

“So kid,” Jinyoung decided to talk to him, get to know him more, “do you have a family back home.” Jungkook shook his head in response.

“My parents died in a fire when I was 8,” Jungkook said, “I’m an orphan. I live was going to live with Namjoon hyung’s cousin Jiminie, but the peacekeepers said no. I had to move into the orphan house and we had to work for the peacekeepers.” Jinyoung was surprised to hear there was anything like that in one of the districts. In 12 people were allowed to take in orphans if they chose to and the ones who didn’t have someone were assigned to families.

He always thought one day he and Youngjae might be separated if his dad never came home. He was afraid of being taken away and assigned to a different family than his brother and he knew it happened. 

“Why would they say no?” Jinyoung asked, “because the peacekeepers didn’t like Namjoon hyung and Jin hyung.”

“What did the peacekeepers make you do?” Jinyoung asked in return. He was surprised they made him work and didn’t let him go with people who wanted him just cause they didn’t like them.

“I worked cleaning the generators,” Jungkook responded, “small kids are the only ones who can fit inside the vents and climb high enough to get it all done.” He’d known things the Capitol had done were wrong. They were in a death game as a product of the Capitol’s treatment of the districts. But hearing there were children forced into a sort of slavery made his blood go cold. 

“They made you do that?” Jinyoung couldn’t help his shock. He could feel Jungkook on his back nodding. “Isn’t that dangerous?” And Jungkook once again nodded.

“My friend Daehwi fell and...” Jungkook began but he trailed off. Jinyoung imagined the worst, that his friend probably had died falling from the generators. It was probably more dangerous than the coal mines were and those were known to collapse. There was a bad mining accident when he was young, he remembered a lot of kids in his class had lost their fathers. His mother had held him tight when he had asked if his dad was going to come home each day. He always worried.

“Well if you win,” Jinyoung said, “you won’t have to go back there.” He would never have to go back to those conditions. Things would be different, he would spend his life in a game against president Yang, fighting to stay alive. Staying alive was really all they could do.

“Namjoon hyung said I would be with him and Yoongi and Jin,” Jungkook stated, “but there’s only one winner Jinyoung and I want you to win too.” His hear sunk, he wanted to live too but he wanted to get Jungkook out more. He felt very attached to the kid, and wanted to protect him like he was Youngjae.

“We will win,” Jinyoung said, “together.” He didn’t know how. He knew the likelihood he would have to give up in order for Jungkook to win. He would. He knew he would.

They made it up the mountains and Jungkook was shivering. It was much colder than it was a day before, part of it was how high up they were. He wished they had a tent, some form of shelter from the winds. If they couldn’t find shelter the could double up the sleeping bags and tie themselves to a tree branch but temperatures were likely to drop further and he didn’t want to risk them freezing to death. 

He didn’t want to put them in danger but he worked to clear some snow between the trees so he could make a fire and cook the meat.

“You can start a fire right?” He asked the younger because he knew Jungkook was resourceful. He was happy when Jungkook nodded. So Jungkook gathered dry wood and worked on the fire while Jinyoung skinned the animals. The two of them worked well together, Jinyoung smiled back at him as he succeeded in getting the fire going. Jinyoung knew he had to make the decision about what to do next. They heard a cannon blast which reminded them of where they were.

By his judgement at least half of the tributes were gone and most of the highly rated ones that were left were trying to kill him. He would have to get a weapon soon or learn to use the throwing knifes. As soon as the meat was over the fire cooking he began work with the knifes. He found out he was quite horrible at throwing the knifes. It was nothing like shooting a bow and he was uncomfortable with every aspect of it. The knifes kept hitting backwards and most didn’t even make it near the mark. He sighed, he realized the weapons were not a help in any way for him.

Jungkook was watching Jinyoung practice but said nothing as he watched. His thought's now turned to Jaebeom and everything that had happened. He had said with such conviction to BamBam that Jinyoung would win the games, he had said that Jinyoung would get a weapon. Now he felt so far from all of that, and he tried to keep himself from dwelling too much on their last conversation. Distractions could get him killed.

He began to wonder if maybe he could make a bow. He was beginning to think he would have to. With the knifes he could carve would and he had rope but it wasn't that simple. To make a bow the wood needed to be cured correctly and that took weeks and months to do properly. He knew he didn’t have time and that the others could find them at any moment. And if the others did find them, this time it was unlikely Minho would be there to save his ass. Still he felt it better to stick with Jungkook. Maybe together they could stay hidden till Jaebeom's plan panned out, whatever that plan was.

He was deep in thought staring forward when a knife hit the tree trunk in front of him. He turned to see Jungkook holding another one looking at one sitting in the center of the tree.

"How did you do that?" Jinyoung questioned in shock. Jungkook just shrugged with a bright smirk on his face and tried to do it again and missed but barely. He did it a third time and hit right next to the first knife. The realization hit him that Jungkook knew how to use the knifes, he knew how and he’d done it before.

"This is perfect!" Jinyoung said to him and the younger smiled. He ruffled his hair again. They could use this skill, especially since Jungkook could climb trees and fire them off at enemies from above. Their meat finished and they ate a bit and saved the rest. Jinyoung decided it was best to keep walking since the fire might have attracted some other tributes.

They walked through the forest until they came out of it and walked forward in the open snow until they came upon a strange sight. It was eerily silent. No ahgases flew in this area. Jinyoung looked around and saw the woods looking dry and almost dead. The place looked haunted, dead. He was about to step forward when Jungkook grabbed his arm.

"Don't go there," Jungkook said pointing, "that's a force field, we're by the edge." Jinyoung looked and wondered about it, he couldn’t see anything. There was no clear indication of what was in front of him.

"How can you tell?" Jinyoung asked.

"The way the light reflects there," Jungkook pointed to one spot, "and there." He pointed to another. Jinyoung marveled at him for being able to spot those small discrepancies. It had to be something to do with the work he did for the district that powered all of Panem. He hated that the kid had gone through all that but his knowledge proved useful to them.

"If you touch it," Jungkook said, "it will hurt." 

"I believe you,” Jinyoung responded and he looked forward.

"Can you lead us along it?" Jinyoung asked and Jungkook nodded. So they walked along the boundary searching for something. Jinyoung wasn't sure why he felt sick. He had a gut feeling staying in the same place wasn't a good idea and shelter was probably key with nightfall soon approaching. The place they walked felt peaceful until they heard the sound of a howl.

"Jinyoung?" Jungkook said, "I'm scared." Jinyoung put an arm around Jungkook as his eyes searched the distance. He had no idea what lurked there and what could have made that noise. He didn’t even know if it was real or something the Capitol was playing to scare them. He then glanced around and realized a fog was forming around them. It didn’t smell like fog should smell.

"We gotta go." Jinyoung knew it wasn’t safe where they were. Jinyoung only could think one thing, that they needed to get as far down the mountain as they could as soon as possible. "Come on, we got to run." They took off together, Jinyoung held Jungkook's hand as they ran as best as they could through the snow banks. His heart was pounding.

He wished they had some sort of sled about now as they moved too slow for their own good. There was no direction, just downwards towards the valley. They couldn't go all the way there, it wasn't safe. But if they could reach trees again they would have a fighting chance. The fog moved fast. He heard Jungkook cough as he took a breath and wondered if they would die chocking by the fog or by the teeth of the animal that was howling and growing closer.

He pulled Jungkook harder and moved faster. He realized something as well. The fog was low, he wasn't effected. They had to get into the trees fast and get up as high as they could. He kept pushing forward and dragging Jungkook as he saw the tree line ahead. Jungkook was coughing more and Jinyoung stopped as he realized what he needed to do.

"Get on my back now!" He ordered the younger as he crouched down. He got a lungful of the fog and coughed. Jungkook listened to him. Jinyoung stood up with the younger on his back and rushed toward the trees now. He was slower with the weight of the younger but Jungkook was slumped against him breathing hard. Whatever that was could have killed him if they didn't stop, Jinyoung’s heart pounded. He had to run, they had to survive. The fog could easily start moving up higher.

"Come on," he said to himself as he launched forward racing with adrenaline pumping through his veins.

"Jinyoung!" Jungkook shouted, "they're behind us." Jinyoung didn't take time to look back he charged forward, whatever mutts the game makers had cooked up resisted the fog.

"Almost there," Jinyoung said as he lunged towards the tree line with all his might. They made it. He didn't think he just acted. He let go of Jungkook and hoisted the young boy into the branches. The younger got the picture and climbed upwards fast. Jinyoung then grabbed the branch to begin climbing as well. He got part of the way up when he realized he wasn't fast enough. He felt sharp pain around his foot as something latched on. He cried out with the searing pain and looked down to see a hideous wolf like creature. He cried out again as he tried to pull out away from it before the others came.

"JINYOUNG!" Jungkook yelled.

"The knife," Jinyoung grunted out as Jungkook quickly responded to those words. Jinyoung knew Jungkook could easily hit him on accident but the mutt wasn't letting go and this was their only chance. Jungkook didn't even hesitate before he had a knife in his hand and threw it. The knife sailed downwards and hit the wolf dead on. The wolf yelped and released Jinyoung’s leg.

Jinyoung didn't waste time to think about the pain that shot through his leg. He climbed up and resumed his task of getting away from the ground. The fog was rising. There was no time.

"Jinyoung," Jungkook's voice said as the younger noticed him struggling against the pain.

"Just keep going!" Jinyoung yelled to him, "keep going higher." 

"I'm not leaving you," Jungkook said as he heard the sharp snapping below and looked down to see those creatures collecting. Jinyoung didn't hear them climbing, that was a gift for the moment but the fog was definitely moving higher.

"Jungkook listen to me," Jinyoung said, 'I promise I will catch up, but you need to keep going. Don't look down." Jungkook looked so frightened but he nodded and listened to Jinyoung. Jinyoung gritted his teeth and used all the strength in his arms to pull himself up.

He had to keep going, he promised Jungkook. He had to keep going for the young boy, for the one above him and the one who waited for him back home. He had to keep climbing for Youngjae. He looked at the Ahgase pin on his jacket and he kept pushing through the pain. His leg slipped but he held on and he kept going. He stopped on a branch and grunted out from the pain. Blood was streaming down his leg and it hurt so much more each second. He didn't know if he could keep going. He looked down and saw the fog had stopped rising and was starting to dissipate.

"Jinyoung," he heard Jungkook's voice above him. He sat down on the branch and breathed heavily.

"We're safe now," Jinyoung said between heavy breaths, "I think." He leaned against the tree trunk.

"Jinyoung," Jungkook said his voice sadder. The younger climbed down to be nearer to him. 

"I'm okay," Jinyoung said.

“I was so scared,” Jungkook said as he threw his arms around Jinyoung with tears streaming down his face. Jinyoung knew things were not okay. The wound in his leg was deep and painful. He couldn't hide how much pain he was in and they couldn't leave the tree because of the mutts below.

"Open the backpacks and get the rope," Jinyoung instructed Jungkook. He had to stop the blood flow before he lost strength. Before it actually became a problem. Jungkook did as he was told. Jinyoung lifted his leg. 

"I need you to cut a piece off," Jungkook listened.

Jinyoung took it from him and pulled up the two layers of clothing, he then tied the rope around his leg above the wound in hopes that he cloud slow the flow of blood.

He looked up to see Jungkook pull out one of the sleeping bag and take his knife to it. Jinyoung realized what it was.

He held out the makeshift bandage to Jinyoung and Jinyoung accepted it before working to tie it around his leg. The teeth had not only sunk it but dug up when he had tried to yank his leg out of the creatures mouth. It was cold out but the cold helped to soothe the wounds.

Jungkook put everything back in the first backpack then pulled out the other sleeping bag and the rope. They would have to stay in the trees tonight due to the creatures below. Jinyoung only hoped they got far enough down that the cold wouldn't be too big of a problem. Jungkook worked to arrange the sleeping bag on a nearby branch and Jinyoung had to climb in first so he moved carefully over and into the sleeping bag. Then Jungkook followed him and got on top of him before the younger worked to tie the rope around as securely as he could.

“Jinyoung hyung,” Jungkook whispered.

“Yes,” Jinyoung asked.

“The mutts will be gone by morning right?” Jungkook asked. Jinyoung knew the angry growls and snaps of the animals were scaring him more.

“We can only hope,” Jinyoung said ruffling his hair again. He would be honest, he had no idea of they would be gone when they woke up.

“Are you scared?” Jungkook asked him. He knew the answer was that he was and it knew it was best not to lie to the kid.

“I’m terrified,” Jinyoung admitted, “but we’re not alone, and that makes me feel better.”

“What do you mean?” Jungkook asked.

“I mean we have. Namjoon and Yoongi,” Jinyoung said, “and we Jaebeom. They’re watching over us right now.”

“Yoongi told me he would,” Jungkook said softly, “and Joonie and Jin. They’re there. You’re right.” The Younger seemed more at peace with that in his mind. And as Jinyoung looked up at the stars he thought of Im Jaebeom’s promise that he would be right here. He knew it was true.


	12. The Glass Shatters

When morning broke the pain in Jinyoung’s leg had intensified, he woke up to it throbbing. He glanced around because Jungkook was not in the sleeping bag but he spotted him up higher looking out from the tree they were in. Jinyoung looked down to see the mutts were gone and he groaned as he tried to sit up. Pain shot up his leg and through his body, he gasped and breathed heavy for a moment.

“Jungkook,” Jinyoung winced as he spoke to call the boys name, “how long was I out?” He couldn’t see where the sun was from their position in the trees.

“Noon passed a bit ago,” Jungkook said. That meant he’d slept all night and all morning, he didn’t stir and any sounds which frightened him. He couldn’t afford to be so lax. The younger boy climbed down from where he was back towards Jinyoung and spoke, “this floated down this morning.” The boy held out a small circular container with a little strings and cloth attached to it and writing on it that Jinyoung assumed was his name. He remembered what Jaebeom told him about sponsor gifts and wondered if this was one.

“What the hell?” Jinyoung asked as he looked for a way to open it, he hoped it wasn’t a bomb of some sort. He reached and put both of his hands around it, it responded to his touch and popped open revealing a piece of paper and a small container. “The asshole should know I can’t read.” Jinyoung knew it was from Jaebeom.

“I can!” Jungkook offered, he held a hand out for the note. Jinyoung didn’t respond with words, he just handed the paper to the kid. An orphan boy who worked in generators could read and he couldn’t. He remembered Jaebeom’s offer to teach him, and knew if he got out he should take him up on that offer. Maybe as a punishment for stressing Jinyoung out so much before the games.

“It says,” Jungkook began, “this should fix you up pretty boy, stop wasting time, signed the asshole.” Jinyoung grimaced as he moved his leg and it cut off a small laugh he would have let out at the words being used. In the heaviness of what they were experiencing he was beginning to miss the banter… he was going insane, that was the only explanation.

“Who?” Jungkook asked and Jinyoung realized he had no context for understanding the note.

“My mentor, Im Jaebeom,” Jinyoung said, “it’s what I call him.”

“Doesn’t sound very nice,” Jungkook responded. Jinyoung moved back towards the tree trunk, he neededed to get the medication on his wound as soon as he could. It was burning up and it hurt badly.

“Well I wasn’t nice to him at first and he wasn’t nice to me,” Jinyoung said, “we kinda got used to each other I think, now it’s just habit.”

“Like Yoongi hyung and Namjoon hyung,” Jungkook replied comparing Jaebeom and Jinyoung to two of his hyungs. 

“What do they fight?” Jinyoung asked him.

“Sometimes,” Jungkook said, “but they like call each other mean names and Jin told me that it just means they love each other.” Jinyoung got the implication, him and Jaebeom did not love each other, they weren’t even friends.

“I wouldn’t say Jaebeom and I are like that,” Jinyoung said, “we are just different, too different.”

“Well,” Jungkook said, “Jin says sometimes people think they’re different when they’re really very similar.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes and laughed.

“I mean it though,” Jinyoung said, “me and Jaebeom are absolutely nothing alike.” Jungkook just smiled at him and Jinyoung sighed, he wasn’t convincing this kid of anything. Jinyoung focused back on his leg. 

He got his leg out of the sleeping bag and Jungkook started packing up their things while he undid the rope and went to pull off the makeshift bandage. They hadn’t even tried to clean it which he knew was a bad choice. He really hoped the medicine Jaebeom sent would counteract the heat of the clear infection that had already begun to form. His blood had dried into the bandage and he knew he was about to pull open the wound by removing the bandage. He gritted his teeth and went for it to pull it off.

He hissed in pain as he pulled half of it off, it burned and he leaned his head back to breath. He felt the heat of his blood flowing out of it. It was clearly already infected and swollen. He had to keep pulling it off even though he didn’t want to. He couldn’t stop a cry of pain as he pulled it off the rest of the way, tears sprung to his eyes as he breathed deep. He hurt so much worse than he’d expected.

He focused on opening the container and found a blue liquid inside. He was breathing hard, he wanted the pain gone. He put his fingers in the liquid then reached around to put it on his leg. When it touched the wound with the liquid it burned, he hissed again. He didn’t want to keep going if this stuff hurt but his leg was bleeding again and he knew he had to get it fixed if he was going to last in the games.

“Damn it,” he gritted out as he tried to breathe. He needed to keep going. He continued with the task and resisted the pain because he knew he needed it. When the wounds were completely coated he noticed the swelling was going down and the pain was lessening. He pulled both pairs of pants he wore down to cover the wound and he still had a small amount of the medicine left. He relaxed and handed the container off to Jungkook who put it in one of the backpacks. The medicine was working faster than he expected and he believed in a short amount of time they would be able to move on. They still had food left but they needed to get more if the days persisted.

He breathed in relief over the medicine given to him. Everything he had said the night before was absolutely the truth. He knew that they were being watched over like Jaebeom had promised and given how fond Jungkook was of his hyungs, Jinyoung knew they were watching too. It made him feel better about their chances again but one part of Jaebeom’s note stood out to him in hindsight.

Jaebeom had said to quit wasting time. He didn’t understand how he was wasting his time. What was be supposed to do? He really didn’t know what came next other than keep hunting for food to stay alive. Stay live was the whole objective but he knew Jaebeom had said he would get a weapon.

Where did Jaebeom want him to go to find that weapon? Back to the center? Maybe Jaebeom wanted him to go back while the careers were out hunting him. He had no way of knowing. 

“I saw Minho this morning,” Jungkook spoke up from where he sat with one of the backpacks on, “I’m pretty sure he is looking for you.” Jinyoung reached for the other back pack and pulled out some of their meat to eat. Jungkook took some as well. It wasn’t much. They only limited rations while the careers had almost everything in the center, the game of survival was in their favor and the colder it got the less likely there would be game. Today was a good day to get traps out but he didn’t want to be found by the others.

He was also curious as to what Minho wanted, what game he could be playing by trying to gain Jinyoung’s trust. He said over and over he didn’t want to play the Capitol’s game and there was some sincerity to his words. Still Jinyoung wasn’t sure how far trust would get him in an arena where people turned on each other. He trusted Jungkook and that was it. If Minho was still looking for them it could easily be either to help or harm them. Whichever it was he had no real way of knowing. On the other side in his mind he knew Minho had left the knifes which had saved Jinyoung’s life the day before.

He was confused if it was a gesture of friendship or a bid for trust that he would betray.

On one hand he could potentially use Minho to help him upset the career’s game plan which was obviously targeting him. Minho was a strong fighter and when he showed up Sehun and Mingyu both ran. Jinyoung didn’t know how to figure it out but it might not hurt to talk with him one more time.

“I also saw Sehun, Mingyu, Lisa and Ten,” Jungkook added to his previous statement, “they were a ways off though and were a bit scared to keep traveling up the mountain. The mutts were still around this morning and they went up higher.”

“Were you scouting other areas?” Jinyoung asked him. He was curious to how Jungkook knew everything.

“Yeah,” Jungkook responded, “I figured it would be useful to find where the others were while you were sleeping.” He ruffled the younger’s hair. Jungkook was proving to be the most valuable ally and Jinyoung wondered how he had underestimated the kid like he had.

“So the careers are traveling together now?” Jinyoung said with a thoughtful expression, “doesn’t that mean their camp has been left entirely unguarded?” That could work out in their favor, if they could steal some food instead of running traps and potentially be caught.

“There aren’t many tributes left,” Jungkook responded, “so it doesn’t matter in the long run if food gets stolen from them, they’ve decided killing is more important than surviving at this point.” Then Jinyoung had a thought. Jungkook had scouted around, maybe he knew the answer to Jinyoung’s problems. 

“Who has the bow?” He asked. If one of the careers had it he would know it wasn’t at the camp and they would have to hunt the careers to get it. He didn’t like their odds. Jungkook’s aim was good but he had missed one the day before. Jinyoung also didn't want to put the task of killing other tributes on the kid, he didn’t even want to do it himself. 

“None of them had it,” Jungkook replied.

“So the bow could be sitting in their camp?” Jinyoung questioned, if it was it could certainly be a huge advantage for him. They could steal food and the weapon he needed. Given that the careers had no way knowing about his skills they might have left it with the thought that no one knew how to use it.

“It is likely someone else picked it up,” Jungkook replied, “it doesn’t seem like they’d leave it when Lisa practiced it and she was pretty good.” So Jungkook had been watching closely even in training.

“If they don’t have it,” Jinyoung began to think, “then who does?” Jungkook looked like he was thinking it over but he didn’t seem to be able to produce an answer. Jinyoung wondered if that was the weapon Minho alluded to when he said he had picked up extra weapons. Maybe he had hidden it but Jinyoung rejected him so he’d given the knifes instead.

But did Minho even know Jinyoung could use the bow? Maybe he was an ally Jaebeom had picked and he has been told to get that specific weapon for Jinyoung. But Jaebeom had said he wouldn’t be too quick to trust Minho. It was all very confusing. He didn’t understand what game Jaebeom was playing or what game Minho was playing. There were a lot he didn’t understand but he needed to stop wasting time and get some answers. Without a weapon he was sure he had no chance of winning.

“What if,” Jinyoung began to process his thoughts, “I go down and see what Minho wants, and you can follow us from the trees and whistle if you notice anything off.” He would have to make sure to pay attention to the whistling this time, he knew he could end up in a dangerous situation even with warning ahead of time.

“But...” Jungkook paused and worry filled his big dark eyes, “I want to stay with you.” Jinyoung didn’t want to expose Jungkook to any of those on the ground, he wanted the kid to make it out in the end and Jinyoung knew he wouldn’t if they got into a fight below. He was small and the other boys would tear him apart, Jinyoung wouldn’t let that happen.

“You will still be with me,” Jinyoung said, “I just want you to stay safe out of sight.” The younger nodded in response. Fear was still in his eyes and Jinyoung wanted to reassure him.

“This is our best shot at getting what we need from Minho,” Jinyoung told him, “I don’t want you in harms way. Watch but if anything goes wrong whistle and do not come down. If something happens to me you get as far away as you can from the others and you stay alive.” Jungkook nodded but the fear increased in his eyes. Jinyoung didn’t want to leave him, he would make sure that wasn’t the outcome.

Jinyoung reached to take the knife belt from Jungkook. Minho had left it with him and he wanted Minho to find him with the same things he’d left him with. If he didn’t have the knifes Minho would know he had an ally. Jinyoung handed two knifes to the younger just in case there was trouble. He wanted to give more but the belt couldn’t look to empty, Jinyoung hadn’t been in any fights since then. He also took one of the backpacks with him, the one without the food. When he made it to the ground he was amazed at how much better his leg had gotten. Whatever Jaebeom sent worked fast and the pain there was just a dull ache.

He looked up to the trees, he knew there were cameras there somewhere. He knew Jaebeom was watching out there somewhere.

“Thank you,” he whispered, hoping the elder would know how thankful he was.

He then began to walk in the direction that Jungkook said Mino had gone. He was careful to stay under the cover of tree’s so Jungkook could follow along. He wondered once again how the younger had kept up before when he had been in and out of different terrain. He walked carefully through the snow and turned when he heard a noise. He pulled two of the knifes out of his belt as he saw who it was bearing down on him.

“So I finally have you cornered,” the other tribute said, it was Mingyu holding a spear aimed at him. Jinyoung knew he was in trouble as he faced down the enemy, he needed to be able to jump away at the right moment when Mingyu threw the spear. His heart pounded as he heard the birds whistling Jungkook’s whistle above.

Jinyoung took a deep breath as he took in how bad this situation was. Mingyu was ready to throw at any sign of Jinyoung moving and his allies could be close behind. All Jinyoung had now was Jungkook, he hated being without a viable weapon and a way out. Mingyu moved his hand back like he was winding up to go for the throw.

Just when Jinyoung was sure it was over for him a knife embedded itself in Mingyu's arm, the boy cried out with the pain and dropped his spear. Jinyoung knew he didn’t have time so he moved fast rushing to get a knife to Mingyu's throat as the other gasped. He had him immobilized and now Mingyu was at his mercy. He should have thrown faster than he did. Jinyoung’s heart was pounding from how close it was.

"What are the others planning?" Jinyoung demanded information from him, "where are they?" They were traveling in a pack, he knew the others weren’t far behind.

"Just kill me," Mingyu said with a laugh, "I know I'm not smart enough to win this, I knew the moment I met Sehun..." Jinyoung didn’t want talks about how he wouldn’t win, he wanted him to give up the others.

"Tell me Mingyu!" Jinyoung demanded, he pressed the knife closer to the kids throat..

"You're little friend seems pretty resourceful," Mingyu said with another laugh, "Sehun can't wait to kill you then they’ll kill him…”

"No he won't," Jinyoung spoke with anger, they knew about Jungkook but he wouldn’t let them get near him, "he won't touch him!" He was livid now but this wasn't him. He knew he would have a hard time just killing Mingyu, he breathed heavy. He didn’t want to kill, he didn’t want the games to make him into a murderer.

"If you won't do it I will," a familiar voice spoke and Jinyoung looked up to see Minho had found him after all. Not shocking, he had been yelling at Mingyu.

"Be my guest,” Jinyoung replied. He pulled back and stepped away from the other boy, but he was behind in case Mingyu made any moves. He couldn't see the way the career smiled. The district 2 tribute was faster than Jinyoung expected and he had Jinyoung pinned against a tree in seconds. Jinyoung held tight and found himself pushing his own knife away from throat as Mingyu tried to kill him right there and then. Minho pulled the younger off Jinyoung and slammed him into one of the trees.

"You're done," Minho said to him before stabbing him through with his sword. A cannon blast sounded and tore through Jinyoung’s ears. Jinyoung was in shock with how easy it was for Minho after his words in training, he pulled his sword out and Mingyu’s body dropped to the ground. Jinyoung stumbled back and put his hand over his mouth, he felt bile in his throat seeing the boys lifeless body and blood pooling… Minho pulled out a cloth and wiped the blood from his sword. Minho had saved him. Jinyoung took another step back, that was too easy. His body was responding with revulsion and fear.

Jinyoung faced his friend who could easily be his enemy. Someone who could potentially hold the key that Jinyoung needed to take the arena. But how could Jinyoung do it if the sight of blood left him reeling like it had? He was reluctant now to face him, to even try to form an alliance and he didn't how much Minho had heard about Jungkook.

"We meet again," Minho said to him with that easy smile. It didn’t seem to effect him that he’d just killed someone.

"Is this my second chance?" Jinyoung questioned. He wanted to find Jungkook and tell the young boy it was okay but there was a problem in front of him. 

"If you're interested," Minho responded, "we could take down the careers together and get that much closer to victory. Mingyu was easy, Sehun and Lisa will be a huge challenge. I can’t do it alone and I need your help. Once that’s done we go our separate ways and maybe meet each other later if we’re the last two standing.”

"You said you had weapons for me, and I doubt you meant the throwing knifes you had just pulled of Wendy,” Jinyoung said he wanted to pry into if Minho had the bow. If he did then Jinyoung knew that he was the one Jaebeom had chosen for him. He had to know. 

"I have an extra sword," Minho stated with a shrug, "and right now we also have a spear and whatever else is back at the center since we’re about to take it.” He gestured to the item on the ground. So no bow and arrow but a sword was something he could use, it wasn’t as effective. So maybe he wasn’t the person Jaebeom had chosen, he might be the best shot Jinyoung got at getting ahead of the careers and ahead of the game. 

“What’s your plan?” Jinyoung questioned. He wanted to know more.

“They have all the food,” Minho said, “Sehun and Lisa are the most lethal in the arena but they aren’t guarding their stores, Nana and Ten are.” He didn’t understand why they were talking about Nana and Ten.

“If we take out Lisa and Sehun successfully,” Minho stated, “Nana and Ten will be easy targets.” So they didn’t have the weapons from the center until they took down the careers.

“Then it’d be down to me and you,” Jinyoung countered, “what next?” He wasn’t about to betray Jungkook, but this was his chance to get more information about who was still on the board.

“Not quite,” Minho responded, “it would be down to us & the girl from your district as well as the kid from five. We’d have a really easy time taking both of them down.”

“Sana’s alive?” Jinyoung questioned in shock, he hadn’t known she had made it out of the initial bloodbath. He didn’t even think of her as a possibility, as being alive. He was so focused on Jaebeom’s instruction of run then staying alive then Jungkook. Sana was alive the whole time!

“She is,” Minho said, “I spotted her near the river breaking ice for water. She was with another girl who’s name appeared in the sky yesterday. She’s alone now.” Jinyoung hadn’t been watching, he’d been too focused on trying to sleep off the pain from his mutt bite. He was in a cave the day before that. He hadn’t seen anything. It was then that Jinyoung began to understand, he needed to find Sana and get out of the vicinity. Sana, it was Sana! 

He remembered her words to him at training, the way she pled with him to think. He knew Jaebeom wasn't just going to throw her away for him he had told BamBam he could get them both out. There was always more to what was going on. There was always so much more and Jinyoung had been too blind to see it. Sana was quiet, she kept herself invisible despite how open she was the first day. No one was talking about Sana, no one was targeting Sana. No one could have even thought that Sana would make it this far. Sana did all that by herself and she wanted to.

All those individual meetings with Jaebeom.

_You’ll get a weapon_

Jaebeom had only offered him surety. He needed to get out of there. Minho didn’t have the bow, Minho wasn’t his ally. Sana had it. The pieces clicked into place and Jinyoung backed away in defense as he realized he had put himself in danger. Sana had the weapon meant for Jinyoung, she was the weapon Jaebeom had used. While they were all distracted searching for Jinyoung, Sana was able to do what she needed to do.

"Minho," Jinyoung said to him, "What are you planning? How do you plan on defeating Sehun and Lisa?" He had to play it off, he had to get out of there without Minho attacking. Jinyoung couldn’t beat him in a sword fight when all he had were knifes. He had to get out of there, he had to hold his panic in. He didn't trust the boy in front of him, after seeing how quickly he killed Mingyu. How easily he had changed since training. Jinyoung didn't realized how tables could turn.

"We go out into the forest and simply find them and defeat them," Minho said, “they’re separated and it should be easy to catch them with the both of us moving together. There are tracks everywhere in the snow.” Tracks… Jinyoung and Jungkook left tracks side by side. That must have been how Mingyu knew about him. 

"Why do you need me?" Jinyoung asked, "you're a much better fighter than I am." He had to play the game, find his way out.

"Because," Minho said, "you got a 12, there was a reason for that. Even if you seem to have hidden it well." He saw Minho’s hand’s twitched, one moved slowly towards his sword but Jinyoung caught it. He was in danger.

"I don't believe you," Jinyoung replied he held the two knifes out in front of himself. If things got bad Jungkook had one more knife and could give him an out.

"Excuse me?" Minho questioned, "I've saved your life twice now! You owe me kid!” His demeanor changed so quickly and it all made sense.

"Against 2 district 2 tributes," Jinyoung said. It was too easy. Minho had offed half the careers when careers had cornered Jinyoung almost like Minho had waited for Jinyoung to be in a bad situation before stepping in to take out dangerous allies. Minho didn’t need his help at all. 

"You're working with Sehun and Lisa," Jinyoung accused before stepping back away from Minho in an defensive stance with his knifes.

"Hold up there," Minho said, "I'm not working with them."

"You offed their biggest competition," Jinyoung replied, "they used you to get to me." His heart was pounding so violently in his chest he felt like his body was going to burst. He wasn’t ready for a fight.

"Well that took you a bit of time to figure out," Sehun's voice spoke behind him and Jinyoung jumped back. His heart rate didn’t ease up, it increased. He flipped and backed away so that Minho and Sehun were in his sights. He needed to get out of there fast. Sehun could have stabbed him in the back and Jinyoung wondered what stopped him.

Jungkook. 

Jungkook was right there and probably unwilling to stay out of it and Sehun knew he was there that was why he hadn’t made a move on Jinyoung. 

"Stay back!" Jinyoung commanded he wished more than ever that he could throw the knifes in his hands. He could win then if he could just throw. 

"Or what?" Minho said, "you don't even know how to use those. You had to get your little friend to figure it out for you." Jinyoung shuddered, Minho had been tailing them. Minho knew about Jungkook and that meant no matter what happened Jungkook was in danger. Jinyoung’s hope was if anything happened to him that Jungkook could stay hidden in the trees and win in the end. 

"You leave him out of this!" Jinyoung yelled. The sound of a canon broke through their discussion and Jinyoung shivered, if it was… It was then that a knife hit Sehun in the chest, Jinyoung's heart stuttered. Jungkook was alive, it wasn't him that was killed. Jungkook was alive and had used his last knife on Sehun. Sehun cried out as he fell to his knees and blood burst form his mouth. Another Canon went off Sehun fell forward, gone.

"Jungkook run get out of here!” Jinyoung shouted as he backed away quickly. Minho didn't waste time, he launched forward and Jinyoung dodged his sword with a jump. He caught Minho's next attempt at a blow with his knifes but the force of it caused pain to shoot up his arms. He knew Jungkook didn't have another knife. He had to get up higher and out of there far away. He had no idea if Lisa was still in play. Someone else died and Jinyoung didn’t know who it was.

What if it was Sana? Was it all over then? Was it over for him? Was all hope of going home gone?

"Thanks for taking out Sehun," Minho hissed at him, "I wouldn't have been able to beat him, honestly your boy made a good choice." Jinyoung was frightened, he didn’t know what to do or how to get out.

"What the hell happened to you," Jinyoung had to defended again, he moved away fast, he had to stay away from the blade. He had to find a way out, it couldn’t end here. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go home, he didn’t want to play their game.

"It's nothing personal!" Minho stated, "I just realized when the games began that it was only ever going to be one of us! So I made the play I thought was best then. I helped kill the other careers for Sehun and he helped me hunt you down. The kid who got the highest rating, the one the public was rooting for! I am going to kill you Jinyoung!” Jinyoung dodged and got back away, the sword Minho using was large and lumbering but he was skilled. Minho landed a blow to Jinyoung and the sword sliced through Jinyoung's side. Jinyoung cried out and fell to the side and onto his knees, one hand dropped the knife and clutched his side.

This was it, he wasn’t going home. Tears filled his eyes as he thought of Youngjae, there was no way out for him now. Minho moved back and prepared to land the killing blow.

"JINYOUNG!" A voice shouted his name. One he knew, his eyes glanced trying to follow. No. No. Not like this. Minho lunged forward and the young boy didn't hesitate for one moment as he moved. Jungkook stood between Jinyoung and Minho’s sword. Jungkook became his shield. Jinyoung's heart stopped beating for a second as time slowed down and he cried out. He couldn't breathe as he saw it all happening in front of him, everything he was afraid of.

There was no sound in his ears as he screamed, he heard his heart beat as he cried.

Minho’s sword sunk into Jungkook, through his body… Jungkook stood between them but he hadn’t just done that. Jinyoung was breathing heavy in panic as he realized that Jungkook had grabbed a knife off Jinyoung. Minho pulled back on the sword and stumbled back in pain from the knife embedded into his shoulder.

"JUNGKOOK!" Jinyoung shouted with all his might.

The young boy began to fall backwards, breath entered Jinyoung’s lungs as he watched.

"STOP IT!" Jinyoung cried out, he just wanted it to stop. He wanted everything and everyone to stop fighting to stop everything that was happening. He couldn't make it stop. He reached out for the boy and he caught Jungkook as he fell. He looked down at Jungkook’s pale face as tears filled the young boy’s eyes. Jinyoung looked up at Minho who had him at his mercy, he looked different than before. Not cocky, not like someone who was about to win. He looked like someone who saw himself for the first moment. Minho looked horrified.

Tears streamed down Jinyoung's face as he stared down at the face of his enemy. Minho looked shocked and frightened but he lifted his sword and and Jinyoung knew he was defenseless. He breathed deep pleading but he knew it was no good. This was how he was going to die. Everything for nothing, every promise he had made Jungkook was nothing... He put his head down and stared at the young boy, Jungkook was crying as he looked back at Jinyoung before he spoke.

"Please... Please don’t give up…” Jungkook whispered. Jinyoung let tears fall from his eyes, he couldn’t stop them from leaving him. He couldn’t save Jungkook, he couldn’t save anyone. Jinyoung waited for the blow from Minho but it never came. Instead it was a sound breaking through the air.

The familiar sound of a whistling, an arrow cutting through the air. Jinyoung looked up, tears streaming down his face as the arrow hit Minho in the shoulder and then Minho looked towards where it came from and turned and fled.

"Jinyoung!" Sana's voice was unmistakeable and he turned to see her, she stood strong, the bow in her hands. Her eyes and expression fell as she realized what had happened.

"I can't breathe," a small voice spoke which brought Jinyoung’s attention back to Jungkook.

"Jungkook," Jinyoung focused back on the boy, "Stay with me!" He had to find a way out, he had to find a way to save him and to get him home.

"Jinyoung," Jungkook said his name, his voice was shaky.

"You're going to be fine," Jinyoung said frantically, "You're going to be fine." He put his hands on the wound as if he could will it shut, as if he could fix it.

"I was never going home..." Jungkook wouldn’t stop talking, "I always knew..." Jinyoung shook his head.

"No," Jinyoung cried, "no you're still here, you're okay. We're going home! I promised, we’re both going home Jungkook. Please.“

"My mom and dad missed me..." Jungkook said, "this way I'll be with them..." 

"But I want you here!' Jinyoung couldn’t help the bursting tears, his heart was shattered. This child had become so much to him so quickly, "I want you here with me!" The snow was falling, Jinyoung just realized as it landed on Jungkook’s face. Jungkook’s face looked so white next to it.

"You have to win," Jungkook whispered, "you have to keep going, even without me."

"I can't," Jinyoung sobbed, his body was shaking as he held his hand over Jungkook’s wound. The flow of blood kept coming. There was no way to stop it.

"It was always going to be you," Jungkook said, "It was always yours to win…”

"Jungkook don't," Jinyoung said desperately, "don't, please..." He didn’t know how he was going to keep going without his friend, after what he had seen. Jinyoung found he was afraid of going alone. He couldn’t do it alone, he was never going to be able to do it alone. He needed Jungkook more than Jungkook had needed him.

"Thank you hyung," Jungkook said softly, "because of you I'm not..." He coughed he struggled, "i'm not... afraid." 

The words hung in the air, Jinyoung felt like he couldn’t breathe.

"Please…” he pled one more time softly.

"Jinyou..." the boy whispered as he breathed, he breathed in and then out...

Then no more.

"No," Jinyoung said, "no... no... no... You can't go! Please. STOP IT! I don't want this. I don't want it." He couldn’t stop yelling and crying.

This was wrong, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t want it. He had never wanted this game. 

Hands touched his shoulders. Sana was there.

"Jinyoung," she said, and he looked up to see her tears were streaming down her own face, "you're not alone, you’re not alone.” He leaned his face into her shoulder as she embraced him, the child between then. Jinyoung felt so empty but in that moment as Sana put her arms around him he realized he wasn’t alone. He didn’t have to go on alone.

They cried together as the snow fell, for Jungkook. For the games. For everything they’d been forced into against their will. For a nation in slavery. They cried until there were no more tears left for him to cry.

He knew in those moments he couldn’t stay silent. He couldn’t do nothing.

He wouldn’t do nothing, he would defy them, he would defy them a hundred times over for what they’d done. Jungkook didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve any of it. None of them did. None of this was right. They were children, they were just children caught in a game too big for them.

Sana helped him by watching over Jungkook as he went and did what he had to do. He cut pine branches and ice lilies. He made Jungkook a bed out of pine branches in the clearing and carried Jungkook too it to lay him down in a beautiful resting place amidst the falling snow. Direct defiance as the bodies were supposed to be left to be collected by the Capitol. Jinyoung had no intention of just leaving Jungkook behind. Sana helped him arrange the flowers around the boy's body. He created a memorial for a child who didn't deserve anything that had happened to him in his short life. 

Jungkook had saved his life, Jinyoung would make sure that sacrifice meant something. Sana wrote his name in the snow to mark his grave. It would all be wiped away, it was all temporary but in that moment Jinyoung knew what it meant. He knew what this would be seen as, as definance. Jinyoung wouldn't submit to them, he wouldn't play their game anymore. He stood by Jungkook crying still.

He looked up and spotted one of the cameras and he knew. He knew that the entirety of the nation was watching, that the capitol was watching. That the president was watching. He knew... So he raised his hand, 3 fingers to his lips and saluted a nation, to all the oppressed. A symbol of defiance and of their unity. To the people in the districts who went hungry, whose children were carried away to die every year for 74 years. To the children who were orphans who would always be afraid. To the families that had lost too much, to the people that had suffered to long. He defied those who caused this.

He defied the man who stood above all of them.

And when he walked away with Sana he knew he could have just signed his own death but he found he didn’t care anymore. But he would rather die a martyr a hundred times over than do nothing. He now understood Im Jaebeom's hatred, his definance and everything he’d done. 

He walked with Sana to the to the caves, he couldn't stop crying and his side was hurting but he ignored the pain. She was quiet as if dealing with it in her own way but she offered comfort. Sana kept an arm around his shoulder and he felt the touch meant much more than people would understand. They both knew what he’d just done, what it meant and what would come next. They fell asleep holding hands, thy both held on to what they had left and they were both worried they were about to lose each other.


	13. Empty

"Jinyoung," he heard a voice calling to him from his sleep. He pushed out of himself to open his eyes, he didn’t know what was going on. "Jinyoung, wake up!" A frantic voice... Sana's voice. Sana was calling him to wake up. He successfully opened his eyes, he felt hot, burning up. He wanted out of there, he wanted Youngjae, he wanted home. He realized where he was and everything came crashing down on him again. He’d failed, he’d failed and he lost Jungkook.

"Jinyoung!" Sana called him, "you're burning up." He could feel what she was saying, his body hurt and it all centered around his side. Sana ripped off his heavy jacket to help him. He just wanted to curl up and go to sleep. Jinyoung knew what it had to be from, the events of yesterday came rushing back to him. He hadn't tended to the wound Minho had given him. He was so stupid. He felt like he didn't want to tend to it now, he didn’t feel like going on was something he had the strength for. He’d already failed.

"Shit," Sana said and he felt her hands turning him, "it's infected." He sighed, he didn't feel fully coherent.

"Medicine..." Jinyoung said remembering the container Jaebeom had sent which he was pretty sure fought infection, "backpack." Sana went to both backpacks searching for it. Jinyoung realized there was a lot of light in the cave. It was Jungkook's watch, the one Yoongi had given him. Jinyoung had taken it in hopes of giving it to Yoongi and Namjoon if he did make it out. Sana had turned it on to see. The pain was so raw tears began to flow from his eyes again. He didn't want this reality anymore. He didn't have much resolve left.

Sana had the container, she was at his side and he tried to push her back and to o get her to leave him. He couldn’t fight for long as he lost coherence and he slipped back into unconsciousness...

_He was floating in a sky all alone, waiting for something. He didn't know where he was nor what it was he was looking for. He’d been searching for something his whole life, everything was amplified in is mind._

_Voices called his name._

_He floated on, lost in clouds, oceans, faces. People between worlds turned their eyes on him. Noise turned to silence. Day turned to dark. The sea dried and he saw emptiness everywhere he turned. Nightmares filled his mind of things falling, endless war and pain. He saw the suffering of people in the districts and suffering in the Capitol. No one could escape suffering as he saw the city on fire. He felt hopeless, lost, broken. He was nothing of who he was in his dreams. There was no way out from the system._

_Voices screamed his name._

_"Jinyoung!" The voices kept crying, so many voices called him but one stood out in the madness. He looked for it, clung to it. There was only one that he could isolate and hold on to. He ran towards it as he heard it again. The people and the crowds faded and he was in a forest and Jaebeom was there in front of him saying his name. Snow was falling over them, a forest more peaceful than the one where he had lost everything and Jaebeom was there._

_Jinyoung felt grounded by the sight, the sound of the elders gentle voice. Jaebeom reached out a hand to him._

_"Jaebeom," Jinyoung said his name reaching out to touch him, to know if he was real or just a shadow if nightmare. The cold was stinging to his skin and he found he was scared. Of what eventuality he didn’t understand. Everything around him was just fear except for Jaebeom. There was Jaebeom like an anchor. He took the elders outstretched hand and the voices in his head were silenced._

_He didn’t trust it. He didn't believe that Jaebeom was real, he didn't believe in anything anymore. But he wanted it to be real. He held on and stepped forward._

_"Jinyoung," another voice called his name, this one smaller. It was a child's voice he recognized. His heart skipped a beat. Jaebeom let go of his hand and stepped to the side. He saw standing behind Jaebeom the child who had called for him. It was not Jungkook but rather his brother, Youngjae. The child that he would give everything for, his sunshine. His beautiful light. He knelt down in front of Youngjae and grabbed hold of his younger brother._

_"Jinyoung," Youngjae cried and began to sob between his words, "you have to come home, you have to come back." Jinyoung shivered from the cold, from how dead he was inside. The cold and ice around him was truly a reflection of every thought and feeling that had consumed him._

_"I can't Youngjae," Jinyoung said softly, “I’m sorry, I don’t have the strength to make it home.”_

_“No you have to,” Youngjae said, “you promised me.” And he thought of the broken promises, of his promises to protect Jungkook. His promises that they would both make it when he knew the chances were all against them. There was never any chance. Only one could escape and Jinyoung had wanted that one to be Youngjae, not himself. He’d wanted to go home at first but after what he’d experienced he felt ashamed._

_He had broken so many promises. He was breaking them more and more each day. If he gave up he’d be breaking the most important promise he had made, to try his hardest to come home._

_“Jae,” Jinyoung said his nickname softly._

_"Don't let go," Jaebeom's voice said and Jinyoung looked to him. For some reason his very gaze brought strength Jinyoung didn’t know he could draw on. He held onto Youngjae tight. His younger brother, who he willingly walked into the face of death for, his sunshine, his way through. Youngjae was a light to him in the darkest moments._

_"Youngjae," Jinyoung looked into Youngjae’s eyes as he spoke to him, "I am coming home, I’ll be there soon. I promise.”_

He woke up to the feeling of cold on his skin, his eyes opened as he took a deep breath. Everything about the dream had felt so real. He woke up in the icy cave, hardly remembering that he had awoken before then. He wondered how much time had passed and how much of it was lost to his nightmares. Sana was nowhere to be seen but all her stuff was there with his. He knew that she would be back soon. 

He checked the wound in his side. It had closed nicely and it looked like all the infection was gone. The medicine hadn't worked as well as it did on the mutt bite. He could feel a bit of soreness in his side but it had improved since he fell to sleep. He didn't feel hot anymore and guessed he had a fever before. He needed to thank Sana. For so long he’d sized her up as an enemy and underestimated her, yet she had come through when he needed her the most. She’d come just in time when he was facing down Minho and she’d cared for him when he had all but given up.

He found himself thinking then about how Jaebeom was right about everything. Jaebeom had told him not to trust Minho and had said to BamBam that he would do his best for Sana. He believed he could get them both out, now Jinyoung and Sana were together against anyone remaining and he had the bow. Jaebeom had handed the win to them with his plan to use Sana’s lower status. There was very little chance they would actually lose in a fight.

He believed their chances would be strong. He should have trusted Jaebeom and listened closer rather than lashing out or running away. He had some regrets, it was only natural to regret the mistakes he made. He had to resolve to do better. The game would continue past the days to come. 

When Sana reappeared through the cave entrance she lit up upon seeing that he had awoken.

"Jinyoung," she said his name with relief, "I was so worried about you.” He nodded, he didn’t have much will to speak in response. He saw she held something her hands, another circle like the one Jaebeom had sent before. Their mentor had sent something else.

"How long was I out?" he asked her.

"Almost all night & day," she responded, "the sun just set." It was so dark in the cave even during the day, he hadn’t realized or considered it.

"That's not good," he said groaning as he fully sat up and slipped his jacket back on. It was freezing in the cave and the temperature would just keep dropping into the night. He zipped up his Jacket and slipped his hands into it’s warmth.

"Yeah," Sana replied, "I kept watch but nothing happened. I was a bit worried that they would try to drive us down the mountain or something. No other tributes came this way.” He understood her concern. Sometimes if the show got too boring for viewers the Capitol would introduce shake ups to keep the public fully invested. They couldn’t afford something like that while he was down.

"What did Jaebeom send?" He asked as his attention turned back to the circle in Sana’s hands.

"I haven't opened it yet," Sana stated, "when he sent stuff to me it just opened so I figured this is for you." She held it out towards him. He looked at it confused.

"He sent you stuff?" Jinyoung asked her. Sana nodded.

"I got sick the first day due to something I ate," Sana responded, "he sent medicine that helped me.” Jinyoung took the container from her and looked at it. It opened with his touch and once again there was a note but this time a larger container instead of a small one. He wished more than ever that he could read it but there was nothing he could do to fix that where they were. He handed the note to Sana and met her eyes pleadingly. She took it and seemed to understand.

"You can't read?" she asked. He just shook his head, he was tired of answering to that. It was the first thing he would fix if they won. “It just says, ‘Jinyoung, keep going’ and it’s signed by Jaebeom.” Jinyoung took a deep breath and nodded. He hadn’t expected it to say much more. Words could be superfluous, and bury any true sense of meaning. Jinyoung didn’t want words, the fewer the better. It was a simple message but it said so much in that moment. After all the fighting, he really wondered how Jaebeom could know him. Jaebeom knew him so well yet they hadn't know each other long. He’d been getting to know Jinyoung while Jinyoung had misjudged him the whole time. He opened the container within it and was greeted with a very nice smell of a warm soup. It was a perfect gift where they were.

He didn’t think they had much food in their backpacks and anything they had it was best to save for the day to come. This gift was sent with care, Jinyoung understood that. Jaebeom was watching over them both and taking care of them. How things had changed from the first time the three of them had met. He’d never imagined then how far they would come.

"Have you eaten today?" he asked Sana and she shook her head, no. So they shared the warm bowl of soup and drank some water before settling down to sleep. It was a moment of comfort, a feeling of safety he got from having people on his side. Tomorrow was the day he knew it would all end. For better or for worse.

He didn't know if he'd be alive the next time the sun set, and that thought made him feel empty inside.


	14. Fire

“So,” Jinyoung spoke as he and Sana walked through the forest together, “how did you get the bow?” He truthfully felt much better with the weight of the weapon he could use in his hands. There weren’t many arrows due to Sana only having the bow to defend herself. She lacked his skill but she had practiced some within training. Her holding the weapon kept Minho and a few others from challenging her when they caught up to her.

Sana carried Sehun's sword, a weapon they had picked up before leaving the mountainside. Jinyoung had still cried himself to sleep the night before, and he had dreamt of Jungkook smiling. He had dreamt of Jungkook surviving and going back to Namjoon, Yoongi and Jin. He’d woken up in tears, and Sana had comforted him. 

He didn’t need to think about it. Now was the time where him and Sana needed to focus on the task at hand. They needed to take out Lisa and Minho who were the last remaining tributes. After that they could only hope that whatever plan Jaebeom had would succeed and get them both out.

They had left their cave to head towards the center of the arena. Sana had told him there were only two others left and Jinyoung felt an open fight with them was better than trying to hide. He had his bow, it was time for him to make the decision to become what the Capitol wanted him to be. He had to fight to survive, that was the only way he was going to get back to Youngjae.

He walked with Sana and they conversed about their experience in the arena, the things they’d seen. They avoided the topic of Jungkook. He was more curious about her story than he possessed any desire to recount his own.

"I got the bow easily," Sana told him, "I slipped past everyone in the cover of the first night. Most of the good fighters were out looking for other tributes to kill.” He was curious about why it was left lying at camp. Sana continued talking and gave him the answer. ”No one was good enough with it, Lisa practiced but she is more of a graceful close range fighter. Her scores in training weren’t good. She chose to take a sword rather than to take the bow.” 

"Did Jaebeom tell you to get it?” Jinyoung had to know. Had Sana made these decisions on her own? Had Jaebeom been up front with her or had he manipulated her? He didn’t understand many things about the elder but he understood that Jaebeom was still stuck in the games his own mind were playing. He was still a prisoner of the arena the Capitol had put him in. He was still moving as if everyone was going to hurt him, as if he had to play the game to get everything he wanted. He wasn’t playing the game because he wanted to hurt them, but that was truly all that he knew. 

Jinyoung realize how much more he understood about the elder, being in the arena changed things in his mind. He wondered if he’d ever have the chance to tell Jaebeom as much. He wondered if something could ever free Jaebeom from the games he played. He wondered if he’d become the same.

"He did," Sana responded to his question, "though he didn't give me all the details as to how. He just said I was the only one who was going to be able to get close enough. He also insinuated that he could get us both out. I can't think how he means to, but I believe he meant what he said.”

"He told BamBam he would get us both out,” Jinyoung mused. He saw the way her expression changed so he explained, "I overheard them talking one night, they thought I was asleep.” She raised her eyebrows and her expression changed to a sort of smirk.

"Was that when you were..." He knew that she was about to say something he'd rather the whole of Panem not hear.

"Yes," he cut her off quickly, "I don't want to talk about it." He didn’t want anyone to misconstrue the fact he was sleeping in Jaebeom’s bed. He knew the people of the Capitol fantasized the tributes lives. He didn’t need to give them anything to run away with.

"Did you guys have a fight right before the arena?” she questioned him next.

"We always fought," Jinyoung spoke defensively, "name one time we were not fighting." It wasn’t like Jaebeom and Jinyoung had gotten along much. Sure he was starting to think of the elder as a potential friend, a real mentor but a lot of what happened was confusing to him. The way Jaebeom looked at him, the way he grabbed him from behind and held on to him. Jinyoung didn’t want to dwell on it too much. He didn’t want to distract himself from what was ahead.

"After the presidents banquet," she said, “you two seemed to get along great that night. Also when the scores were announced and he put his arm around your shoulders and gave you that plate of food. There was also the time you talked him down from the roof when no one else could…” 

“Okay, stop!” he declared with a laugh. It felt good to have a lighthearted conversation but she was going to hit a nerve if she kept going. Thinking over those moments he should have realized how the way Jaebeom looked at him was different from the beginning. As they went on he looked at him with a fondness in his eyes. Jinyoung had chosen to ignore it all.

“You know you better be careful. Jaebeom might actually think that you tolerate him when we get out of here,” she said with a smile. Jinyoung smiled in return, he knew her words were meant to be friendly, teasing. He wished that he had made an effort with Sana before the arena. He’d had every opportunity but he’d pushed her away. She had taken control of the situation and saved his life. She was there when he needed her. She was clearly much stronger than everyone had give her credit for. 

"I'm sorry I took so long,” Sana said, she seemed to notice the shift in his thoughts through his mood.

"You must have had a good reason," Jinyoung responded. He couldn’t fault her for anything she’d done. He wished she had come sooner, but he knew that wishing couldn’t change anything.

"I connected with Yura," she told him, "we explored the south looking for you. We ended up being chased by zombie wolves and we had to navigate through a death swamp." She stopped smiling, "Yura got killed by fog. "I also ended up facing down Ten at one point, but I got away due to the fact that he didn't have a ranged weapon." 

"Wow," Jinyoung says, "it's been a bad time. even if it's only been a few days." Normally the games could take a couple weeks, yet 5 days in and it was already ending. He knew the final round was what they were facing, one way or another it would happen. If the games go too boring the game makers would intervene to spice things up again. That was something they didn’t need.

"I feel like the snow made this games run faster than the others,” she said, “we all had water from the moment it began.” He agreed that was a reason.

They reached the edge of the forest and Jinyoung’s eyes trained on the sight of the center. It was still piled with food, containers, bags and weapons. He knew that what was in front of them could very easily be a trap. If they just walked out things could go very wrong quickly. Jinyoung also noticed in the forests beyond and around in the mountains, there was fog collecting to drive the tributes out and down the mountains. He was glad they’d come down willingly, and hadn’t prolonged the inevitable.

Jinyoung stepped closer from the tree branches as he wanted to try and see if anyone was out there.

"Wait," Sana grabbed his arm to stop him, "I watched them a lot the first day because I was waiting for a chance to steal the bow." He forgot she had knowledge of what had gone on that he didn’t. He nodded that he was listening to what she was saying so she continued. "Under every platform we came up on was a landmine in case we ran too early, those mines are around that setup. The careers dug them up and reburied them in a pattern to make it difficult for everyone to get food. We have to be careful, we can’t just walk out there.” He saw what she meant, the snowfall made it impossible to tell where the mines had been buried.

Jinyoung looked there then looked up into the trees. There were Ahgases flying all around them like Jungkook had pointed out to him. He knew whatever showdown was coming was their last chance to get out. He whistled the sequence of notes Jungkook had whistled, and the birds echoed it throughout the trees. He then pulled an arrow out of his quiver, it was time to end it.

“What are you doing?” Sana asked him.

“You’ll see,” he responded. He took aim and shot down one of the bags off the pile of stuff. It worked as he expected it too and the landmines were triggered. The bag caused a massive serious of explosions to sound, taking out all the mines and all the supplies at the center.

“Oh wow,” Sana said as they watched it happen. She patted him on the back.

“That ought to get some attention,” Jinyoung he said with a smirk. They hung back and waited until he finally spotted Lisa in the tree line beyond. He didn’t want to step out in the open until he saw Minho. It would be too dangerous to be exposed out there with the other tribute still somewhere around. Jinyoung wouldn’t put it above him to backstab one of them while their guard was down. Minho obviously had to come down since everything was fogging up with poison.

He wondered if he could shoot Lisa down from the distance they were at. He had experience with moving targets but never from this far away, he’d only barely spotted her. A lot could interfere with an arrow at that distance. They would need to get closer for him to get a clear shot. He counted his arrows he only had six of them left. 

“Jinyoung,” Sana said, “it’s probably best if I handle Lisa, you take Minho.” Jinyoung nodded, he would gladly take on Minho. He would take the other down for what he had done to Jungkook, for the lies he’d told. His whole focus would be to end this by ending the boy who had tried to earn his trust to betray him. Things had gone wrong so quickly. Jinyoung wasn’t sure it was hatred he felt towards the other boy, but he knew there was a lot of anger in him. He would have to be focused to win the battle, he couldn’t let emotion rule him.

“Jinyoung,” Sana said his name again, “keep a clear head. You can’t underestimate Minho, he killed a lot of tributes for Sehun. He’s good at killing.” Sana had known about the alliance, that was information Jinyoung wish he’d known.

“I’m not underestimating him,” Jinyoung responded, “but I am absolutely sure he’s underestimated me.” He was ready, he had everything he needed to win.

It was then that he spotted the boy they spoke of. Song Minho stepped out into the clearing as if unafraid that this would be his reckoning. Jinyoung notched an arrow, and aimed, he could kill him right where he stood if he wanted to. The other held a sword and was staring at the fire that burned in the midst of a sea of ice and snow. It was a large fire despite the cold. Jinyoung was ready to take down his enemy, he would be the person to do it. He would avenge Jungkook.

“Wait,” Sana said putting a hand on his arm again getting his attention off what was in front of him, “this isn’t about Minho, remember that. Remember who the real enemy is.” He knew what she was saying but what he saw in front of him was his enemy. He couldn’t fire an arrow into the heart of the president or the game makers, but he could hit Minho from where he stood. He had to.

“No,” Jinyoung said to her and he fired the arrow.

He blinked.

Minho knew.

The boy was lighting fast as he dodged the arrow as it flew. Jinyoung’s jaw dropped. He knew. He must have known the entire time, what Jinyoung’s skill truly was. Jinyoung took a deep breath in shock of it.

“Did you think it was going to be that easy?” Minho questioned, his eyes were now on Jinyoung and Sana because of the direction of the arrow. He’d missed because Minho knew. His body was shaking.

“You see Jinyoung,” Minho stated as he walked towards where they were, “I am the one who will win this, I am the only one who will do what it takes to win the games!”

“Minho,” Jinyoung said. He notched another arrow. Minho couldn’t dodge them forever. “This is your end.” It was then that Lisa rushed from the clearing and Sana ran out to meet her head on. Metal clashed.

Minho charged forward and Jinyoung shot with true aim, he hit Minho in the arm and ran out towards the cover in the center of the arena. The fire burned bright and strong. He dropped on his knees, slid around and notched an arrow and fired. The arrow hit Minho in the leg but he still charged forward, running towards Jinyoung while ignoring his injuries.

“If you get any closer I won’t miss,” Jinyoung shouted at him. Minho dodged away from him as Jinyoung fired a third arrow and ended up out of Jinyoung sight. And he turned back to see it all was breaking down. He had two arrows left and Sana was stabbed through by Lisa.

“SANA,” he shouted her name. Jinyoung did what he had to do, he notched an arrow and hit Lisa in the side. Sana stabbed forward with all her strength into the other girl and Lisa cried out as Sana’s sword ripped her apart. A cannon went off as both girls fell with swords in their bodies. Jinyoung rushed to Sana’s side.

“No, no no,” he had entered the battle field not wanting to lose another friend. He didn’t want to lose himself or her. He was scared as he looked down at her, she was still alive and breathing.

“Jinyoung,” She motioned to her sword that was still embedded in Lisa’s body, “you can win this...” she had tears in her own eyes. “This is your chance...” She was so pale. He didn’t care that he was crying now, it wasn’t supposed to go this way. 

“Jinyoung,” she said, “you are more than you know... Don’t... don’t become what they want you too... don’t change for them...” He knew what she was saying, everything she had said about him she had also believed. He didn’t understand why she believed that. Somehow she saw him as a savior too, it wasn’t just Jaebeom and BamBam. She was always ready to die here.

“Sana I’m nothing,” he said to her, he’d never been anything more than a boy trying to go home. He wanted to go home to his family, not to become a symbol for the whole of the people.

“No,” she shook her head as she struggled to breathe, “you’re the fire... I am so glad I met you...” her hand was on his face as she said it but it fell quickly. She couldn’t hold it up anymore as life left her. Another cannon went off, the noise shattering through him breaking around him. This wasn’t what he wanted. None of this. He didn’t want to become anything. He looked up, the flames dances before his eyes. Reflected in that moment and knew exactly what he needed to do.

He dropped the bow and stood up. He grabbed the sword inLisa’s body and pulled it out his eyes on where Minho stood a smirk on then others face. He’d watched and waited for this battle, Minho was ready to fight him head on.

Jinyoung felt the fire’s warmth on his face as he stepped forward.

Jinyoung saw Jungkook...

Jinyoung saw the brokenness of Jaebeom, the loss of BamBam, Taehyung’s light despite his own loss. Jinyoung saw Sana the way she had fought a battle she knew she would lose. 

He saw all of them. 

He saw Youngjae. He saw Mark and his father. 

He knew how far he would go to win. He charged forward. His sword clashed with Minho’s, it clashed again. Metal against metal, he fought against the boy who had trained him to use the weapon that he carried. He fought against the man who he had trusted, the one who had taken everything. He didn’t care when Minho landed a blow on him, he was fire. He would become what Sana said he was. He would fight the battle before him and win it because that was all he could give the people who cared about him. He could only give them himself back.

“So in the end,” Minho spoke as he blocked Jinyoung’s sword, “you’re just like me.” Jinyoung was on the offensive, throwing everything he had to each blow.

“I am nothing like you,” Jinyoung shouted. He put his all into hitting at Minho with as much strength and speed as he could. He would win the games. For everyone and everything. He would be everything the capitol wanted him to be by winning this battle. That was what impacted him the most in his mind. He pushed Minho back, the other boy was already hurt. Two arrows had broken through his body from Jinyoung’s hands, Minho had broken them down to stubs. The elder had tried so hard to keep up but Jinyoung pushed the sword from his hand with a powerful blow and in seconds Minho was at his mercy. Jinyoung’s held Sana’s sword to his throat.

The boy in front of him had become everything Jinyoung hated. Minho became what the capitol wanted them all to be. Jinyoung looked into Minho’s eyes and he saw the hatred, he saw that pain, he saw himself... everything he was about to be if he used the sword in his hands.

“Do it Jinyoung,” Minho shouted at him, “end this.” Jinyoung stared him down, a life in his hands, one he could take.

Jinyoung knew at this moment he would choose what he had chosen all along. From the moment he began he’d made the same choice. He would choose to defy them. He would defy them a hundred thousand times if that was what it took, he would rather be the martyr than to be what they wanted him to be.

You’re the flame.

In that moment he knew exactly what he was, a fire that would destroy them all. Belief, defiance, everything within himself was exactly what the others had seen. He wasn’t a piece in their game, he wasn’t their slave to manipulate. He wasn’t a killer. 

He knew the person he was looking at now wasn’t his enemy. Sana was right. His enemy was President Yang, his real enemy. The devil wasn’t Song Minho but the man who had twisted Minho, the man who twisted a nation into killing it’s own children.

“What are you waiting for!” Minho shouted at him, “FINISH THIS.” Jinyoung shook his head.

“No,” Jinyoung said and he drove his sword into the ground.

The image displayed across Panem was one of a boy that defied them. Jinyoung stood in front of a wall of flames dancing behind and stepped back away from where his sword stood. He fell to his knees in front of those flames, in submission to a fate he’d chosen. He choose to forfeit his own life rather than to become the same as every other tribute and victor in all of Panem. 

Since he was born the right to choose was stolen from them. He’d never gotten to choose where he would end up, who he would be. He got thrown into everything life forced him to be. For the first time in his life he was able to choose to do something that mattered, to choose to be something. He choose this.

He looked up at Minho, whose eyes were in shock as he looked at Jinyoung. What Jinyoung had to become.

“You would...” Minho stuttered. Jinyoung simply looked away from him. He looked up to the skies as the snow that began to fall on them. The flames could go out from the snow that fell, but a new fire would rise.

Jinyoung looked up and saw the faces of his family reflected in the clouds of the sky. He’d wanted nothing more than to see them, he’d wanted nothing more than to go home but he was sure they’d understand. They’d understand that this was where his journey had led him, this was the only thing that mattered. Standing alone, holding on to his identity with two hands grasping towards something more.

His fire was one they could see, he was sure of it. 

He waited for Minho to make his move, the tables had turned and now Jinyoung’s life was in his hands. He could snuff out one fire, and let the fire spread around the whole nation. Jinyoung closed his eyes as he waited for the pain of death.

It never came.

The fire wouldn’t end there. Jinyoung heard a sword move but looked up in time to see Minho turn it on himself. It was horrifying, watching the boy take his own life. Jinyoung felt tears in his eyes, he wasn’t expecting the outcome in front of him. 

“Minho,” he said in shock as the boy fell to the ground. He moved to go towards him when Minho held a hand out for him to stay back.

“Don’t,” Minho said choking on his own blood, “just burn them all...” Minho spoke with fire in his own eyes, “burn all those bastards! Burn the ones who did this! ” Jinyoung felt the weight if it all as he fully realized what he had just done. Minho laid back and breathed out. Seconds passed.

A cannon sounded. 

Jinyoung was shaking as he looked away from the body in front of him. He looked to the end, the end he knew he didn’t want. All of this he didn’t want... He didn’t want to be their savior. He hadn’t wanted to be their hero. He wanted to be their martyr. He had wanted to die.

Yet here he was, he was their victor.

He’d won.

The victor.

The winner of the 74th annual Hunger Games.

He’d tried to lose, yet he’d still won.

He was at the end, the snow falling with everything, his tears fell. The fire behind him was going out. He felt emptiness take him, he was wounded by Minho’s blade. He’d forgotten. He was the lone survivor. He felt truly alone in the world as he laid in the snow. And that was where he passed out.

———————

_Cold._

_Cold._

_Heartbeats, a breath of time._

_Alone._

_Alone._

_Words said, the end._

_Choice._

_Choice._

_Had he chosen wrong?_

_Please._

_Please._

_Come back to me._

———————

Jaebeom was forced back. He was waiting. He had been waiting so long. The game makers were in an uproar, people were going crazy all over the nation. It was the most successful, most talked about games in their history. He knew the customs that would follow, still he was forced to wait as Jinyoung was brought in. He didn’t realize it would take that long for Jinyoung to be handed over to his team. Jaebeom had been trying to make some sense of what was happening, to find some news on him. He’d heard reports that Jinyoung had gone out of his mind, that he wouldn’t let anyone near him nor would he let anyone touch him.

One nurse was crying out that he was psychotic as she passed where Jaebeom and BamBam waited. BamBam had spent a lot of time yelling at people to let them see him. Jaebeom was frozen where he sat. He sat waiting, wondering at what he had just witnessed on his screen. 

No one in the history of the games had ever done what Jinyoung had done. He’d won the games without taking a single life. The ultimate defiance of what the games stood for. They could break anyone, make anyone what they needed them to be except Jinyoung. What he had done was beyond what Jaebeom had expected and the Capitol couldn’t kill him for it. They had to have their winner.

They heard shouting down the halls, he could tell how livid BamBam was. Jaebeom was just as angry but he knew shouting about it wasn’t going to change anything. Jinyoung was safe for the moment, no one could harm him or risk the wrath of the people of Capitol as well as the people of the districts. He was a victor who captured both their hearts. 

Jaebeom had been watching the games unfold every moment. He wouldn’t stop for a second, he had to watch it all happen. He should have what Jinyoung would do coming but he was completely shocked. He’d expected Jinyoung to take Minho’s life and comeback the triumphant victor who took revenge for his friends life. That would have been the story every bit of media would have played up to great lengths. He knew how the machine worked. Jaebeom hadn’t expected Jinyoung’s defiance to be so raw and apparent. Of course he hadn’t done it. Jinyoung wasn’t a killer, he was more than what the Capitol could have ever realized. 

The fire in Jinyoung’s eyes was something Jaebeom had always seen.

That was the first thing Jaebeom noticed about him. How that fire burned, even when he denied he wanted anything but a way home. The fire burned in his eyes as he declared he would win, everytime he defied Jaebeom. The way he looked at the President also held that fire.

Jinyoung was born to defy them. 

Jinyoung was everything Panem needed, and Jaebeom knew President Yang saw it as well. There would be great danger in what was ahead. They would have to take precautions to protect him from the many battles he would face after his victory. One of the boys from district 5 had looked him in the eyes and asked if he was ready to stay by Jinyoung’s side through the battle ahead and Jaebeom had said he would. That was where he belonged. Jinyoung was going to be moving to the victors village with him.

“Im Jaebeom,” he looked up to see the game maker stepping into the room they waited in.

“Yes?” He knew this could mean his own end. Maybe Yang would find it fit to punish Jinyoung by taking out his mentor. Jaebeom doubted it, Yang was more of one for nuance with things. His punishments were always doled out slowly, he liked to build paranoia for what was coming. Just like when he’d taken Jaebeom’s sister to the games, Jaebeom hadn’t seen it coming even though he should have.

“They’re asking for you,” the game maker said, “no one can calm Jinyoung down.” Jaebeom stood up to go immediately. He had to go to Jinyoung.

“You should have let us go in the first place,” BamBam said angrily, he stood up as well.

“Just Jaebeom,” the man stated. BamBam sighed and sat back down. The game maker gestured for Jaebeom to follow him and Jaebeom did. He was led back down the halls of the underbelly of the arena. There were a lot of people shouting, among it he heard Jinyoung’s voice telling them not to touch him. He heard a pounding. There was a crowd around the entrance to the room he was in. Most of the people were not entering the room. There was one in the doorway speaking to Jinyoung most likely.

Jaebeom moved past everyone and entered the room himself without even asking for permission. He stepped in and saw Jinyoung on the floor, his hospital bed vacated. He was pounding on the wall and crying. A nurse was standing over him trying to grab him, he kept swiping at her and shouting for her not to touch him. Jaebeom realized now what had truly happened to him. He took a deep breath in, he’d played a part in this happening to Jinyoung.

Jaebeom walked to the boy slowly and motioned for the nurse to step back.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebeom said his name softy as he reached for him.

“No,” Jinyoung’s head was turned away, he couldn’t see who it was but he swiped at Jaebeom’s hand that touched his shoulder. Jaebeom stopped holding back and reached to wrap his arms around the boy and pull him in.

“No,” Jinyoung said as he pushed back against him. Jaebeom held him tight and stroked his head as he pulled it to his chest.

“Jinyoung,” he said his name softy, “Jinyoung it’s me.” And Jinyoung opened his eyes, Jaebeom let go of his head so Jinyoung could look at his face, recognition reached his eyes and Jinyoung laid his head against Jaebeom’s chest willingly.

“Jaebeom,” Jinyoung said as tears began to flow from his eyes into Jaebeoms’s shirt. Jinyoung leaned into him crying more. Jaebeom held him close in those moments, he knew what Jinyoung needed. He needed to be back with the people who cared about him, away from this place. Victors were normally sent back to their prep teams to prepare for the victory ceremony immediately. They’d held Jinyoung for too long already, it made Jaebeom nervous.

Another nurse approached and Jaebeom glared at her as he held on to Jinyoung. He wasn’t letting go until Jinyoung was safe away from those people.

“Shhh,” Jaebeom said softly as Jinyoung sobbed, “we’re going home now Jinyoung, let’s go home.” Jinyoung nodded and Jaebeom shifted him. Jaebeom stood up and lifted Jinyoung up in his arms. Jinyoung continued to keep his face hidden in Jaebeom’s shoulder. Jaebeom looked at the crowd of people all staring at them and glared.

“We will prepare him for tonight,” Jaebeom told the game maker before walking on to reconnect with BamBam and head back to the penthouse. 

Jinyoung was shaking in his arms from all that had happened. 

“You’re safe now,” Jaebeom said softly, “I promise you’re safe.”

————————

Jinyoung slept through most of the afternoon after arriving back at the penthouse. He was exhausted mentally and physically. He’d been so confused as to what was going on back at the arena, the only moment of clarity he had gotten was when Jaebeom came for him. He was glad when Jaebeom brought him back to his room and tucked him into his own bed so he could rest. He slept fitfully but he was able to rest. When he woke up Taehyung was there with soup. He knew what everyone had been saying back at the arena center, that he was crazy. 

He knew he wasn’t crazy, he knew it was just too much in those moments.

Waking up to Taehyung there with food made him finally feel safe. The younger had eyes of compassion and care as he sat with him. He helped Jinyoung finish his whole meal before he pulled out his tools and began to prepare him like he had before the games. There were so many treatments that taehyung had to do to Jinyoung to clean him up after all he had endured.

Taehyung didn’t speak, he always seemed to know when Jinyoung needed silence. The silence was soothing to his troubled mind. It oddly helped him silence his racing thoughts. Taehyung brushed his hair with care and applied makeup to his face slowly. Jinyoung realized that Taehyung was doing this so he would not shock him with any sudden movements. That amount of care warmed Jinyoung’s heart. 

After they were done he was taken to BamBam like before and BamBam hugged him upon seeing him. It felt like a lifetime ago that they had spoken, it felt good to be hugged by someone he knew was his friend.

"Are you feeling any better?" BamBam asked him. Jinyoung shook his head. He wasn't feeling better at all. None of this felt real, it felt like he was still in the arena and everything around him was an elaborate dream. He was afraid he was going to wake up in terror again. Waking up to a bunch of masked men had been terrifying. When he had awoken at the arena center there were so many people looking at him and touching him, it was terrifying. That's why he had snapped the way he had, it was coming back more and more.

He didn't know what came next within that day, and that terrified him even more. He just wanted to hide, to curl in on himself and hide away from the world.

“It's not over yet," BamBam said softly. Jinyoung nodded, he knew it wasn’t over. "You know what you need to do right?" He nodded again. "And you won't be alone." And he nodded a third time. He knew he wasn't alone, he knew that the moment Jaebeom had pulled him into his arms. He knew the game he was playing hadn't ended, it would never end. That's what Jaebeom had been trying to tell him from the beginning. There was no going back once the cannon sounded, there was no going home. He had tried not to change but he had been unable to stop it in the end. He would never be the same.

They dressed him in white and blue, they had been planning to since they knew he would come back. BamBam knew the game well and knew now was the time Jinyoung would have to convince them he was okay. And he would have to tell them he knew what Minho would do. The lie began now, he couldn’t let it be known that what he had done was defiance.

"I managed to grab these when they brought you down,” BamBam held something out to him then. He looked down to see Jungkook's watch and alongside it his Ahgase pin. Jinyoung looked at them and the memories they held came flooding back in. 

"You can't wear them," BamBam stated, "they've become symbols, but you can carry them with you in your pockets.”

"Thank you," Jinyoung said the first words he had spoken all afternoon. He was grateful in those moments for his friends, the reality was he needed to keep holding on to the things he’d been brought. He knew what was to come, he would stand alongside every previous victor. He would have a chance to do what he needed to do. He needed to give the watch to Yoongi.

When he was ready to go he was still not speaking. BamBam wondered how he was going to get through his interview. Jinyoung could see the fear on Taehyung's face, that the younger knew he wasn't okay. He also saw it on Jaebeom's face. So much was expressed in the elder's eyes, how much he knew. Jaebeom expressed so much care with simple expressions and simple comforting touches as they began their journey to the ceremony. Jinyoung was glad to have him there.

The evening was much lighter than Jinyoung had expected with how worried everyone had been. Jinyoung got through the interview easily, and he even smiled before it was over. He knew his friends could see how fake it was but the rest of Panem would be fooled. They went to the ceremony. A small crown was placed upon his head & he bowed before the president alone this time. The president normally spoke to the victor, or so he was told, but he didn't speak to Jinyoung. He waved him off and Jinyoung was taken to stand in the line of victors. He could see Jaebeom down the line in his place, and all of them bowed before Panem. Jinyoung played their game perfectly.

The night was over with that and as they were leaving he got the chance to walk by Yoongi and slip the watch into the elder's hand in passing. Their eyes met and Jinyoung saw the fire the others held. He knew so much could be said without words, he didn’t have any to say and neither did Yoongi. It was Namjoon that spoke for both of them.

"Thank you." Simple words and Jinyoung turned to meet Namjoon’s eyes.

"I did nothing." Jinyoung spoke soft, barely above a whisper.

"You did everything you could have,” Namjoon said. And the younger bowed to him before Jinyoung had to keep walking. He had to keep going. Nothing could appear as though more was being planned even though he knew it wasn't over. He fell into step with Jaebeom as they began to walk towards the exit.

He had a feeling the other two from district five would be right in the middle of whatever came next. Jinyoung had a feeling there was a lot more pain in store for all of them. It was all because of what he had done, he had publicly defied everything the Capitol stood for. It wasn't over at all. 

The night wasted away and he found himself in tears back in the penthouse. Pressed against Jaebeom's chest as the elder simply knew everything that he had gone through. And he slept in peace because of Jaebeom’s arms strong around him, holding him together. Jinyoung knew then that whatever happened at least he wouldn't face it on his own. He wasn’t alone anymore, that was enough.


	15. No Going Back

He slept peacefully through the night, and woke up with less clarity than before. Dreams had plagued him through the night, not nightmares just the things he couldn’t stop thinking about. Jaebum held him through the night, it gave him a sense of safety he didn’t understand. Jaebum had always been right there before Jinyoung had realized it and he didn’t fully understand why. Somehow Jaebum's web of plans had saved him in the end. He’d kept his promise that Jinyoung wouldn’t be alone. He wouldn’t have made it without those by his side, without any of those he’d met.

But at the same time Jinyoung wondered, if Jaebum had been honest with him from the start would he still have lost Jungkook? He didn't know how things would have gone. He knew Jaebum did his best to give him the chance he needed. He didn’t blame him, he just couldn’t stop contemplating all that had happened. The capitol was clear that only one victor could ever be crowned, Jinyoung, Sana and Jungkook couldn't change it. He still wondered how Jaebum had planned on getting past that rule.

The sacrifices made for him were too much. That was the part that stuck with him, a particularly Jungkook had told him it was always going to be him, and he hated that thought. He hated knowing the most precious little boy had died so he could live, so he could win. Sana also willingly faced death and was ready to go. Jinyoung understood that feeling. Sana had played a long game, stayed shy and quiet. She had worked very hard to be unnoticed because in the end her purpose was to get Jinyoung the weapon that would secure him his chance to take the field. She had given so much up to complete Jaebum's plan and to hand Jinyoung a victory over herself.

Jaebum had said he could get them both out and in the end that didn't happen. In the end nothing worked out for anyone but Jinyoung and even Jinyoung had offered his own life and sought to let it end. He had faced death and asked for it. Somehow even in that Minho would chose to die for him. Jinyoung was still alive, he was the only one still alive. He survived and he would have to face consequences. The game wasn’t over.

The Capitol were already putting there spin on the end, burying the defiance he had show. He knew despite that, his definance would have consequences. He was sure the President knew exactly what it was that had driven him to do what he had done. The way he had looked at Jinyoung and refused to speak to him, he knew everything. Just like he knew the hatred Jaebum held for him. Jinyoung was certain there would be consequences to what he had done. He didn’t know when they came nor what they would be but he knew they were coming.

That was why even though the horrors of the arena had ended, he was so scared. He realized that he needed Jaebum more than ever, because the elder knew how those consequences could break him. Jaebum understood what it was like to go through the arena and face the game that began when the arena ended. Without Jaebum, Jinyoung would fall to pieces again and again. Jaebum held him together and even though he didn’t understand it, he knew it was all he had.

He woke up that morning and found Jaebum awake looking at him like he would shatter apart, because the elder knew what it wae like. The compassion in his eyes was strong. Jinyoung looked back at him letting everything be on display in his own eyes. He didn’t bother hiding his fear or the thoughts that plagued him. Jaebum could help him if he knew what was happening inside him.

Today was the day they would go home. They would be together. Jinyoung was moving into the house next to his in the victors village. His reward for winning was he would never want for anything in his life again. Consequently his war would put him right next to the only person he could rely on to understand what he’d been through. Someone who cared for him even though Jinyoung didn’t known why. He’d never treated Jaebum like anything but an annoyance. Things had changed.

"Jinyoung-ah," Jaebum said his name softly with fondness and familiarity. The elder brushed his bangs from his face gently, slowly. Jinyoung didn't smile, he didn't have it in him to smile. He didn’t have to smile nor pretend anymore. He knew what this was to Jaebum, it was more than it was to him but that was okay. Jinyoung clung to him because he needed him. A part of him would probably blame Jaebum for awhile, for things he couldn’t explain. Because part of him thinks everything would have turned out different if Jaebum had just told him the truth. Those things didn’t matter anymore, they would only get int he way of what they both needed.

"You're going to be okay," Jaebum said to him softly as if reading everything. The implied words that weren’t spoken was that Jaebum would look after him now. "I promise you'll be okay.” He could readJinyoung and Jinyoung wished he could read the elder. Maybe if he had he would have known about Sana, about everything.

"I just want to go home," Jinyoung said, he was shivering from the reality. There was a cold reality he wasn't going back. There was no going home, no way to be the same person he was before. He wondered if Youngjae would recognize him for who he’d become, no matter how hard he had tried not to change it was impossible. He had never been so afraid in his life. Where as before he’d felt strong enough to get up and fight each day for survival, he did’t feel strength anymore. He felt like all he could do was hide in Jaebum’s arms. He was afraid of the uncertain future, and afraid of losing more than he already had. He knew it was far from over. 

"We're going home Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum said softly, "we'll be there soon." His words were true, they would be home that day with so many unanswered questions. Jaebum helped him to get up and face the day. He stood by his side.

There were goodbyes to be said. BamBam hugged him tightly, Taehyung brushed his hair one last time. Taehyung cried when he finished, and Jinyoung smiled finally because Taehyung's goodbye warranted one. He’d been a nuisance to Jinyoung when he’d first met him but he’d quickly become a friend Jinyoung needed. He’d taken care of him the way he’d needed.

Jennie and Jungyeon were both very congratulatory to him and then there was Hani. Hani kissed his cheek and smiled and said, "I knew it was going to be you." She smirked then and walked away. He wondered about the exchange but Hani was Hani, she was a big mystery to all of them. He marveled though at how quickly these people had become an odd sort of family to him. When he’d first come to the Capitol he’d not thought of any of them as anything more than people who would work against him. He hadn’t thought anyone in the Capitol had kindness or understanding in them. He’d learned so much about the world he lived in through knowing them. He knew he would see them again.

They went to the train with the fanfare of the whole Capitol upon them. Thousands of people were in the streets cheering him on, saying goodbye. He wouldn't be back in the Capitol until the victory tour. It would be 8 months to rest from what he’d experienced then he would have to go back again. He wouldn't miss it, he knew how much the surface of it was a lie. There was no peace in that place.

He walked onto the train with Jaebum at his side. He was fast becoming a constant and Jinyoung found he wanted him there. They stayed side by side as the train got closer and closer to home. As time went by, Jinyoung wondered if Jaebum ever intended on leaving his side again. He didn’t know that he’d mind if Jaebum stayed.

"What was it like?" Jinyoung asked the elder as they laid together watching the scenery go by out the windows. They rode through the districts, getting a brief glimpse of the lives of people that were in many ways very much like them.

"What?" Jaebum asked him.

"What was it like to watch the games?" Jinyoung asked with clarity. He had never watched a single games, he had known nothing of what to expect when he had shouted those four fateful words. When he said he’d volunteer for Youngjae. It had just been the right thing to do. He hadn’t been seeking glory, he’d been seeking to save an innocent life that deserved nothing of what the games had held.

"It was horrific," Jaebum said, “it always is. I was.. I'm sorry... I didn't know things would go that way, I should have told you everything." Jinyoung sighed, wishing for things to change in the past was pointless for both of them.

"Like you said, you didn't know," Jinyoung responded, "none of us knew. You can't prepare for something like that." He reached and grabbed the elders hand and looked into his eyes. He owed Jaebum more than the elder would probably admit. Jaebum had been with him when he needed him, he’d saved his life. Maybe Jaebum didn’t even know how much that had meant to him.

"Thank you," Jinyoung said, "you kept your promise." That was what mattered. Those words were mattered because Jinyoung knew that when he told Jungkook that Jaebum was watching over them that it was true. He did what he could, everything he could. He made the difference in the end.

"What happens next?" Jinyoung asked him. He didn’t know when he would stop being afraid.

"You keep going," Jaebum responded. "We keep fighting," 

Jinyoung knew why he’d was calling it a fight. Jaebum had done what he set out to do, he had made Jinyoung one who would defy the Capitol. He had made Jinyoung a symbol. Jinyoung could blame him for it but he knew it wasn’t just Jaebum. Jaebum hadn't done anything more than reveal what was already there. The defiance he clung to had been inside Jinyoung all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the first installment. The second one will be up soon!


End file.
